I attended my high school graduation and had a good time. It was outside, very pleasant. It was nice to see everyone a last time and say goodbye, since I knew I wouldn’t see a lot of them after that.
Plus, my parents would have been really disappointed if I hadn’t gone. But I’m glad I went.
Of course attendance is a choice, and many people choose not to attend. Personally, I feel that choosing not to attend because someone has chosen to thank God for their achievements is foolish and intolerant, but that’s just my opinion. I also feel that the idea that graduation is the pinnacle of your life and it’s all downhill for the next 60 years is too depressing for words.
If someone can’t thank God for his (perceived) help at graduation because it might offend non-believers, does that mean you can’t thank your parents because it might offend orphans and emancipated minors? There’s a time to voice your indignation, and a time to accept that some things that aren’t important to you are very, very important to other people and keep quiet. Days that are important to everyone involved (like weddings, funereals, and graduations) are a case of the latter.
I didn’t go, either. I had transferred to a new school barely a year before, and I had had some serious problems with administration in the new school. (Making things more difficult for me because I was a transfer.)
My parents were pissed off at the school, and didn’t care if I went. It was also my anniversary that night, so I decided to skip it. I got massive flak from the teachers, who told me it would be the best night of my life and I would regret it forever.
The year after that I went to my boyfriend’s. Not terribly exciting.
For my high school graduation this past May, the prinicpal told the seven valedictorians (I was one 
) that he had to check over our speeches before we gave them. I didn’t know how legal this was, however after researching the topic, I discovered that there had been court opinions that the graduation audience is considered a captive audience and that they cannot be subjected to religious messages. I’ll look for a cite and report back.
Not one of the seven sermonized, and it wasn’t too long since we got 2 minutes max a piece, although I was apparently the most controversial. Our class song was Young by Kenny Chesney, and I told my class that I hoped that high school wasn’t the best time of our lives. Then I stuck in a couple of jabs about not wanting to be “wannabe rebels who didn’t have a clue.”
Some of the cool kids thought that I meant that they would end up losers because they liked country music. They were really upset. :rolleyes:
CrazyCatLady, you are quite literal, aren’t you? “Downhill for the next 60 years”. 
My fault. I should have said “So far”, I guess.
Or what? It’s not as if they could withhold your diploma from you.
Amazingrace, while your reply is one of the few to actually touch on the gist of my post, Mr. Manners feels compelled to remind you that one of the meanings of “grace” is having the sensibility to not take “jabs” at others from so lofty a perch as the podium while speaking as a valedictorian.
Nice post, though.
I would’ve liked to have skipped mine, but it was mandatory. Sitting in an un airconditioned church in the New Orleans summer was such a TREAT, let me tell you.
That’s exactly what they threatened us with. Both my high school and college were small, and if they’d given us the choice, graduation would’ve been a decidely non-affair.
Looking back, no they probably couldn’t have, at least not in high school. I distinctly remember them making it clear in college that part of getting the diploma meant going to the ceremony. I’m sure it wasn’t that hard to manufacture a legitimate reason to avoid it, but I was still rather naive at 23. Besides, I was the first kid in my family to graduate college, so my family would’ve been disappointed if I hadn’t gone.
I was forced to go (practically at gunpoint) by my mother to high school. I went. It rained, so it was short (we were outside in the rain, yes. We voted for it). The saludatorian did the famous monologue from Trainspotting as her speech. The slightly aghast expressions of all the parents made it worth it.
I went on the condition that I could skip my college graduation.
Again, my mother forced me. My mother, my dad (they’re divorced), and his relatives all came. Though the Buddhist prayers (hippie college) and girls with fairy wings on their robes was fun, I would have rather done without.
Grad school, damnit, was my decision! Its a Masters’ degree, I can think for myself! … But mom made me go anyway. I was sick (migraine), and it was a three-hour pre-dawn drive, cleaning my old apartment for about 2 hours, and then the drive back.
If I ever get another degree, I’m not telling my parents until it’s already framed on my wall. I don’t like school, I don’t like my peers, I don’t like my professors, and I CERTAINLY don’t like ceremony.
The not-getting-a-degree-thing -if-you-don’t-go sounds sketchy, because in both high school and undergrad, you weren’t sure whether you passed your classes or not until graduation, because the grading was so tight. In both cases, they provided a fake diploma so that students wouldn’t be shamed in front of their parents if something had gone wrong, and mailed the real piece of paper. IIRC.
As for school prayer, I’ve sat through them at every graduation ceremony.
If you do, go, have a great time.
I didn’t go to high school or college graduation. I didn’t feel that either was a real accomplishment; I basically coasted through both with little effort and an average GPA. My performance in both was certainly nothing to be proud of or to celebrate. My mom was disappointed, though. Not for the last time to be sure.
The thought of dressing in a gown that would have looked more like a mu-mu on me was also more fuel to the don’t-attend fire.
I also didn’t send out graduation notices. I thought there was something wrong with obligating people I barely knew to send me gifts and I certainly don’t want people I barely know obligating me to the same.
Is the actual diploma they hand you an official document? I’ve always assumed the certificate in your transcript would be your ticket to fame and fortune. No one has ever asked to see my diploma.
I didn’t go to mine. I could think of about a jillion more productive ways to use 3+ hours. They don’t actually give you the diploma itself, just the case. The diplomas are mailed out after a few weeks when all the grades are official. (That’s how it was done in my school anyways.) So in my case it was SUPER not-mandatory.
Here’s a cite.
The case is Lassonde v. Pleasanton Unified School District.
If you do a web search, you will discover that there are far more web pages that discuss the constitutionality of the student to free speech than they discuss the separation of church and state.
I think that this site does the most to explain the controversy.
Mangeorge, I suppose that I should further explain my first post. The intention and the wording of my speech lent itself to a more positive and hopeful outlook than the indictment of my peers that I indicated. I explained to my class that we were better than the “wannabe rebels” (a line from the song), and that the outlook was bright. The vast majority of those present (teachers, students, friends, and family), saw my message for what it was and enjoyed it. I’m sorry for making it sound like something that it wasn’t. I was attempting to have some grace.
Amazing, Grace. 
BTW; do you know the history of that song? Amazing Grace, not Young.
Actually, it’s funny that you should ask that Mangeorge.
I was at the President’s Own Marine Band concert last night, and they played and gave a history of the song.
The nutshell version they gave is that a slave ship captain, after years of navagating the middle passage, finally saw the evil in his ways. His words were put to music by a composer.
Yes. Such a pretty story, and song, that even an old agnostic like me prefers to believe it.
I went to my high school graduation which, for some reason, was held in Kemper Arena, Kansas City’s excuse for a basketball court/ice rink/indoor soccer/ professional wrestling arena. It also serves as the home of the American Royal Cattle show.
So, we are instructed to put our gowns on in the cattle holding pen, walk down the cattle entrance chute and sit in rows in the arena. Thus proving my suspicion all along, that high school students are nothing but cattle.
400 kids and 200 guests do NOT soak up enough sound to allow for speeches. The whole thing was one big echo.
Not very successful.
As for my college graduation, I got dressed up in my gown, walked ‘down the hill’ as it is done at KU, into the stadium and right out the other side. I’m not going to sit in the rain for an hour and listen to the chancellor (they don’t even get someone who might be interesting and NOT readily available to talk to in his office any given day) talk about the exact same things he said in the convocation I attended the first day of my freshman year.
I’m glad I walked down the hill and I’m EXTRA glad I left early.
[hijack]
GOOD band! I saw em a couple years ago and they were great!
Now, now. Did those mean old teachers mistreat you?
Head 'em up! Move 'em out! (Cracking my whip!)
In some neighbors it is a very big deal and the appropriate thing would be for the parents and teachers to cheer every single student who gets that diploma. There should be confetti and streamers and great rejoicing.
In other schools graduation should be more formal to be meaingful.
I graduated in the same building where I began first grade and with the same kids. All 36 of us made it through the year. We were the largest class ever. One evening was set aside for prayers and a sermon. Another evening was for the graduation itself. Yes, this was a public school a la 1961.
You are not required to attend graduation if the school is a public school. The teachers are. If you will just keep your mouth shut about your personal religious beliefs, almost all of us will thank God under our breaths.