I sit here at 2AM because I’m really burnt and can’t sleep.
My daughters high school is putting on some musical ,don’t know the name,for which she has some part.
This seems to be important to her ,she is a freshman, and belonging to the crowd is also important to her.
My gripe is practice gets over at 9:30 PM. I think thats too late for a school sponsored activity, especially just a practice, on school nights.
But tonight I went to pick her up and she came outside, I wait in the car, to tell me that practice won’t end till 11PM.
That really ticked me off so I got out of the car and headed in to the school.
My daughter said “don’t say anything because she’s really mad.”
My comment was something like “I don’t give a shit if she is.”
It was now 9:35 PM
There was a small crowd of about 15 kids milling around in the music room.
Not knowing the teachers I asked the 2 adults standing alone in the music room office who was in charge here.
An attractive blond woman said she was.
And then said"Oh does she have to go???Turning to my daughter who was standing slightly behind me in the doorway she said “Go. Go!”.
I said “These kids have school tomorrow”.
Perhaps fearing the teachers wrath my daughter grabbed me by the jacket sleeve and excitedly said “Dad lets go”.
The teacher then said “Its only 9:30”.
That really ticked me off.I said “All of these kids ought to be going home. What the hell are you doing?”
With that and the constant tugging and "Dad lets go"We left.
Most of you are much younger than I and its been many years since I was in high school so I ask you.
Does this kind of thing happen often?Shouldn’t teachers in particular be mindful that 15 - 17 year olds need their sleep.
That there are other studies that are probably more important than extracarricular ones that may suffer?
So what do you think???
I’m thinking that the younger of you, I know there are some 15 year olds here,will respond that its OK to stay out late and the older will see my point so please give your age with your comment.
I think you’re daft. You’re so worried about your daughter being in bed at 9:30p.m. yet you don’t even bother to remember what school play she’s working on?
When I was in High School I worked on the plays and held an after-school job as well. I worked until 10 every night. Through most of high school I got 5-6 hours of sleep a night.
Do I think 11 is late to be working on a play? Yes, I do. I may have asked the producer/director to make it earlier on school night, say about 10, but I’m sure the kids can handle it. If they’re not happy about working so late they should say something.
I’m 18, and a freshman in college. i was in our school’s play in my junior year and our practices ran till 10-10:30 but we often didnt get out of there till 11…its the same way now…although i should mention we had to have night practices because our director was working full time and taking classes part time so that was the only time we had to practice, also the field house, where the stage and basket ball courts were, were occupied right after school, so once again, night or nothing. Otherwise, if your daughter doesnt seem to mind and her grades arent suffering then I don’t see a problem with it.
Gorgon, the poster never said he was concerned with his kid being in bed by 9:30. But I imagine she has other homework and household chores to take care of as well.
I think it’s too late for a school-sponsored activity. Teenagers DON’T sleep enough and they DON’T eat right.
I worked after school as well. I never worked past 10:00 on a school night (and only if my grades permitted) and I didn’t do it often.
Kids are waaaaay overbooked these days, and I don’t think it’s healthy.
Gordon
Daft huh…
I also do not know which softball pitch she is working on at softball pitching practice
for which she got up at 5:30 this morning.
If she could find an after school job I think it would be good for her.
She is quite active with sports volleyball,wrestling mgr and track also.
Then of course there are boys. They always want to stay out late.
My main gripe,well another of them, was the teachers attitude.
Obviously you aren’t old enough to be a parent of a teen. Sarah is my 2nd.
There is no way to tell about grades until its pretty much too late.
She is no honor roll student but with study she can keep her grades up.
I’m willing to bet most kids are in that situation.
Being active in school is good but there have to be limits and the school
should not be pushing them. The boys do that enough.
Like I said the kids were in the music room. Not often used for after
school activities so the gym in use is a non reason.
When does rehersal start? I mean does it go from right after school (3:30?) to 9:30 or do the kids go home and come back?
Six hours of rehersal a night seems excessive for a High School production unless it is almost time to go up.
Plus it doesn’t sound like they were rehersing very hard when you walked in on them.
Then again in a play socializing with the rest of the cast is in a weird way an important part of doing the play or being part of something like the drama club.
I agree, I think anything past ten on a school nite is too late. We had an unwritten rule at my high school that activities ended at 10:00 on school nites, 12:00 on weekends. It did make things much easier, as in, “When do you think this will be over?” “I don’t know, but it should be over by ten.”
If this really bothers you then find out what exactly it is she’s doing and who she’s doing it with. Ask other parents if they agree - you might not be alone.
In any case, don’t feel bad about not knowing what production it is. I was so busy in high school I was glad when my dad just showed up to see the finished product!
You should be encouraging your daughter in everything she does, academics, sports, and the arts. It sounds like she is a well rounded individual, what with her invovlement with various activities.
I was very much involved with my highschool theatre program. And yes, when show time got close, and when the show wasn’t up to the point it should be at, we would rehearse late. We even had rehearsals on holidays. I would get home at 11:30, then be up at 6am in order to get to school for band practice at 7:30. And I graduated with honours and went on to university where I studied theatre. I now direct and produce community theatre.
As long as your daughter has the encouragement to do what she wants to do, as well as the support to keep her academics up, she will be just fine. One of the things I would do, and it might be worth it to suggest it to her, is to take my homework with me to rehearsals. I was not needed on stage at all times, and when I wasn’t I would do my math homework. Or I would do some history research. This way I was sure not to fall behind.
Oh, and find out what play she is in. Find out more about her baseball practices. There is nothing worse than a parent who doesn’t care about what his or her children’s passions are.
11:00 is a bit late for rehearsal, except in the last couple of weeks. If they’re coming down to the wire, you have to expect a late night or two.
However, that doesn’t excuse your acting like a prick. Your daughter made a commitment and you come on like a controlling ass. Five minutes late and you’re pissed? Grow up!
And yes, I have a teenage daughter who has performed in her HS musicals for nine years (they include grade schoolers as part of the cast).
There is nothing you can do to make a high school teenager “not busy”. I think you should be happy she’s keeping busy with school activities instead of partying and getting into other … things.
You say she’s what, 15? Wait until she gets a car.
When I was in school I would literally go two weeks at a time without seeing any of my family at home.
If she’s your second I’d think you’d be used to it.
Just make sure she knows you are there for her and don’t crowd her. She’s a kid. Some day she’ll grow up and instead of you worrying about her staying at school too late working on a play she’ll be complaining to you about not being able to pay the bills, taxes being too high and all the other crappy responsibilities she has.
When I was in high school it was not unusual for rehearsals and/or backstage work (carpentry, painting, etc.) to run until 11 and later, especially in the last 2 weeks or so. Typically we’d start at 3-ish, work till 6 or 7, break for dinner, and finish up a few more hours of work. Then 3 or 4 of us would split a cab to go home. There is a lot of downtime in rehearsals, plenty of time to catch up on homework when you’re waiting for your scene.
Sure teens need their sleep but a few weeks doesn’t hurt anything and it is fun.
I’m not a parent, but I do have a teenage niece who I’m quite close to. I do think that 11 pm is too late for a practice - especially when it’s not scheduled that late, but simply “goes over.” I’ve run into this with my niece’s activities - she also is involved in plays and sports and other such school sponsored things.
One incident in particular comes to mind. My niece is very close to my mother (her grandmother) and often spends the night at her house. One particular night I had gone out to dinner with my mother, and then to pick up niece from a play practice that was supposed to be done at 9:30. We got there, and was informed by my niece that the practice was going to run late by at least another hour, maybe longer. My mother is 66 years old - she’s in good health, but typically goes to bed around 10pm. It would have been an INCREDIBLE inconvenience for her not only to have to stay up until 10:30 or 11:00, but also to have to leave the house late on a snowy night to go pick her up. I took my niece aside and explained this to her, and she ended up talking to the director and leaving with us. Had I not been there, I think my mother would have overexerted herself, stayed up, and braved the snowy roads to pick my niece up at 11pm or whenever the practice was done. I don’t think that was appropriate (or safe, for that matter.)
Even for younger parents, practices that go that late are a major inconvenience. When I worked full time outside the house, I rarely stayed up later than 10 pm. Picking a kid up at 11 or later would have created a major problem with my own sleep schedule. What about parents who have multiple children involved in multiple activities? Are they supposed to be out playing chauffer at the drop of a hat when Teacher X decides that practice must last an extra hour? Some harried parents are on major time schedules - if lil’ Mary’s play practice goes an extra hour, Timmy doesn’t get dropped off at baseball practice in time, etc. etc.
Wow. Give her some space. Play practices never end when you expect them to. At my high school, we usually would go something like 5 to 9, and every once in a while would run over.
Good job of swearing at the teacher instead of having a mature discussion. :rolleyes: Sounds like the teacher was totally fine with your daughter leaving in time for her curfew.
Good lord, people, have taxis not been invented in your towns? Can’t your child call a car service or whatever to pick them up from the occaisional late practice?
Why do YOU need to be your child’s chauffer… a 16 year old is old enough to learn to get around on their own a bit.
Um, no. A town has to be of a certain size to support on-call taxi service. I believe there are one or two taxis in town, but they are not they type you can call at all hours and expect them to come pick you up - you have to reserve them in advance. This doesn’t work when practices unexpectedly go late.
Even in the larger town I moved here from, taxi service was not particularly reliable. Sometimes a cab would show up within 5 or 10 minutes of calling, sometimes it took 30 minutes. I sure as hell don’t want MY 16 year old niece standing in front of a locked up, empty school at 11:00 at night waiting for a taxi.
And before you ask - no, there are no busses that run that late, either.
Realitychuck
Acting like a prick???
You’ve got a hell of a lot of gaul.
Today my daughter called home to ask for a sinus pill.
I took her some.
When I was there,sitting in the car she said that several of the kids
said for her to thank me for yelling at the teacher.
She is apparently a real bitch.