This weekend Mrs.Phlosphr and I decided to drive up to Newport Rhode Island and take the mansion tour and do other fun stuff in Newport. On our way there there is a part of route 138 that is pretty wide open and there are no trees around or anything.
We see this large Lincoln parked on the side of the road with a decent sized fellow, no shirt on standing next to it. [Mind you we just passed a gas station not 1/4 mile back. I could almost still see it]
As we approached the car there he was. Standing beer-gut out and all with his member in his hand urinating on the grass. So totally uncouth he didn’t even have his door blocking the ghastly sight. I couldn’t believe it. How much dignity has he lost that he thought that was OK? Am I totally in the wrong here thinking this was quite nasty or am I being waaay to fuddy-duddy?
My daughter and I were stuck in a dead-stop traffic jam on I-95 once and I watched in my rearview mirror as the driver of the big rig behind me got out, crossed to the right front tire, and relieved himself there. Like he couldn’t walk 30 feet into the bushes on the side of the road! Criminy, the highway was a parking lot and it was easy to look ahead and see nothing was moving.
I’ll usually open both passenger side doors and pee inbetween them. One suggestion though… turn off the car. I was on a remote stretch once and got the urge but I left the car running and didn’t hear the Texas Department of Public Safety troopers as they pulled up behind me. They were 10 feet away before I noticed them and I’m still watering the grass. I started kicking the tires and pretending something was wrong as the two got into a discussion about whether or not they were going to arrest me. I felt about 6 inc… err… about 7 and a half inches tall.
There are a lot of factors involved in this navigation of roadside urination etiquette.
Population density, flora, nearness to where someone you know could see you are all factors, but they all are secondary to the Urination Urgentness Index (UUI), which uses a Hurrican strenght-like measurement scale of 1 to 5, with 1 being "I could pee, and since we’re on this deserted, forested road, why not? to 5 being “I don’t care if the Pope’s watching, I’m going to pissblast the bark off the next tree I see”.
I was born and raised in Arkansas, where pissing by the side of the road is an accepted fact of life…:o
I remember actually asking a cop about this once, when I found him checking out my car as I returned from a much-needed trip into the woods along the Maine Turnpike.
From what he told me, as long as you are at least attempting to hide yourself, there’s not much the cops can do. I vaguely remember someone telling me once that you were supposed to be at least 100 feet from the pavement, but as An Arky pointed out, sometimes you just can’t run that far. Luckily for us, cops sometimes have to pee, too, and most of those that I have found inspecting my car upon my return were more than understanding.
I don’t see the big deal, as long as the urinator has his back to traffic, and is a safe distance off the road. I’m driving by you at 65 MPH. No matter how well endowed you are, it’s still going to be a blur to me.
I found an earlier post mentioning what stunt a distressed passenger in my car pulled once. Again, I felt sorry for all the people passing us on that busy highway.
I’m thinkin’ that pissing on the side of the road demonstrates the utter lack of etiquette.
That being said, my favorite uncle was a big time roadside whizzer. (also, through the knothole in the dock, over the side of the boat… ah the memories of childhood vacations past).
One simply does not stop somewhere that there isn’t a culvert or somewhere to drain the main vein that is out of highway visibility. Hold it till there’s some trees or at least a patch of high grass.
Ever been to Colorado or New Mexico? Parts of them are * flat *. I once had to make a pit stop in Colorado where the nearest cover in 10 miles was a speed limit sign. Dang, it’s hard concentrating when you know that you’re visible to anyone in a thirty mile radius with a decent set of binoculars.
Hang on a sec- there’s fun things to do in Newport? That don’t involve getting falling-down drunk? I go to school about a half-hour from newport, and I’ve never heard of this.
Please, good sir, share your knowledge with a chronically bored undergrad. What’s the fun stuff?
Yeah, you should definitely cover your member when taking a pitstop. I did, once, stop on an old country road at night and relieve myself right in the middle of the road, but I was on a straight part of the road, and could see there were no cars for miles.
Ah I bet you go to Roger Willilams or Salve Regina? Basically, the fun stuff includes diving, fishing, mansion touring, scotch drinking, jet skiing, and shopping. The first two are my favorite! My wife loves the shopping though…
At least the roadside pissers aren’t creating a hazmat situation. “Piss bottles” have become a problem in California when drivers re-fill their soda bottles, and the roadside cleanup crews aren’t supposed to touch the stuff as it’s considered medical waste. SF Chronicle article.
gotpasswords, you beat me to it…we have the same problem on the I-15 between San Bernardino and Vegas…
[psa]
A message to anyone living or visiting California…pee on the side of the road, don’t piss in a bottle and heave it out! You can help control the state’s budget if you just take the time to stop the car and find a bush!
[/psa]
