Drunk zombies are so annoying.
OK, that was so totally worth the thread resurrection. 
One night I got roaringly drunk while binging on Japanese cartoons. I stayed awake the whole night and errr… was living with my parents at the time, so when they came down for breakfast I enthusiastically regaled them with half-nonsense word-slurring babble-tales of my adventures fighting spider demons in feudal Japan. They still tease me about it sometimes.
Do drunken typos count?
“It’s only 9 o’cock” and “wait a sex please” come to mind.
If they do, I give you:
Texts From Last Night.
“Hey, you got puke on my shoes!”
“Yeah, well you got shoes in my puke!”
Works for me.
My younger sister, the morning after my father’s (4th) wedding, came out of her room in our hotel suite and said,
“I feel like shit, I really need to bite the dog”
When it dawned on me how wrong she got that, I couldn’t quit laughing.
To this day, my sister and I (and we’re slowing spreading it to others) will judge the severity of a hangover with either “I need to bite the dog” or “I need to lick the dog”.