AAHH YES!! This is a small tid bit of information on nice policemen and getting even! 
I recently went up to Boston to visit an old College buddy! I stopped off and picked up a couple new snifters to go with my 30 year old bottle of Single Malt Scotch Whisky-> Macallan. I have been saving it for this very occation. My accomplice and I are certified ex-dipsomaniacs. We decided to re-visit the old days with a night of philosophy and good old fashion Drinking! This is the tale that ensued->
I arrived with an empty stomach to north Boston where my friend and his wife have a nice house in a nice quiet part of town. The wife was gone for the weekend and we had the place to ourselves. The first snifter was poured at 5pm and the last was spilt around 10.
The night was a cold Massachusetts night 20 degrees F and not a cloud in the sky to speak of. My partner in crime had already eaten dinner so by the time we had finished the first three snifters I was feeling quite nice and he was well on his way! I brightly got up and fixed myself a healthy roast beef sandwich and then promptly continued the mission. At 7 I stood up and looked in the mirror over the fire place and saw a very rosy cheeked sot staring back at me with a look in his eye so clear anyone would know what he was thinking…I wanted more…
Off to the porch I say, and with that we went out to the porch and to our great pleasure it was not cold anymore. The alcohol in our bodies conveniently warmed not only our spirits but our bodies as well (so we thought). Then up came two cigars seemingly out of nowhere. The conversation sparked again and we sat and philosophized about all the truely important things in life: Whats going on in Afghanistan, girls we were with in College, fishing, cheese, farts, paper plates, diamonds, Machiavelli, religion, wives, underuse, Dubya and of course Scotch. We always got back to the basics.
We then adjourned inside and continued the debates this time with Mr.B.B.King doing his best to drown out any ambient noise we were creating.
9:45pm the Bottle of 30 year old scotch was almost gone and we were officially shitfaced! The music was the only real thing keeping our bodies awake with a certain amount of vibration. With my next to last sip of Scotch came the
sound… a Knock on the door.
“Oh shit” my partner in crime said. He looked just as he did in college when the Resident assistant knocks on your dorm door cause the Pot smoke eminating from your room is now leaking into the hall. “Its my Neighbor!” he said
I said “I’ll get it, I’ll let him know we’ll turn the music down”
I stamered over to the breeze-way and there he was, Mr Police man staring at me with that “your an adult idiot” stare.
I opened the screen then the glass and I kind of leaned out the door. “Yes sir” said I with a coy little grin.
John Q law man “Ah yes sir, we got a call that there was loud music in this neighborhood and we’d like to ask you to turn it down…”
…,…,…,…Blank Drunken Stare…,…,…,…
Johny crackers " Sir? are you ok?"
“Yes I am fine” I managed “I am just waiting for you to ask me to turn the music down, you said you’d like to ask me to turn it down but you never actually asked. And on top of that you said ‘we’d’ like to ask, but I only see one of you…”
Noticeably agitated at this point John lawman says " Sir! There is no need to be rude, please turn your music down . Right Now!"
“Yes Yes thats better, I’ll do it right away.”
I am standing over the cop who is now on the bottom step, I am leaning with one arm holding onto the door jam and looking down at the cop at the bottom of the stairs.
!Then IT happened!
I went to move back inside, lost my grip and in a puking slosh proceeded to fall right on the nice clean policeman…My friend ran (as best as he could) outside and before the cop could say anything, picked me up and helped me to my feet.
I was embarrassed but I was also waay to drunk to think more about it. We invited the cop inside and he paper toweled the puke off his nice Massachusetts spit shined shoes and proceeded to lecture me about drinking responsibly… I felt like a silly kid being lectured by a shop teacher wearing a belt buckle that says “saftey” and missing fingers at the same time. I was just pissed!
So we turned down the music and he left with out dragging me downtown (thank God, the wife would have murdered me)…
I do not know why cops still piss me off, or why they still intimidate me…Makes no sense. But after that little fiasco, I think I may be cured.
Anyone else have any good drunk rants??
