Hilarious things you find out about your parents

Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share (MPSIMS)
#1

So there are some things you have take for the team if you’re a librarian. I read Twilight. (Actually a page-turner - not good, mind you, but a page turner.) That sort of thing. So now, of course, one must read Fifty Shades of Grey if one is to have an opinion about it, right? I got it on my Kindle, I opened it up maybe three days ago, I saw it was so fanfic-ish in the worst possible way and is in first person present tense and read two pages. This evening I sighed and picked it back up again and this is what I saw on my Kindle.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

(Perhaps this is why families shouldn’t share Kindle accounts.) So what have you stumbled upon that you could have done without knowing but which is absolutely gut-busting hilarious to you?

#2

mods delete please, not related to the OP

#3

I discovered that my father, as a young-un, was a big fanboy of a book series that seems to be sometimes considered to be “for girls”. Interestingly enough, I became a fan of a different, “girls” series not knowing this about my father.

#4

My brother and I started collecting comic books when I was in 6th grade. It turned into a whole thing. Phoukabro now has a 10K+ volume collection.

Mom continues to bemoan how this is punishment for the comic book she stole when she was five.

#5

Sometime when I was in high school/college I was looking for something in my parents’ file cabinet (no idea what now.) I found a rejection letter from Harlequin Romances circa early 1970s to my mom from a manuscript she supposedly submitted. I went “WHAAAAAAAAAAA?!?!!” Never did find a copy of the story. (Thank God?)

Also, once digging around under the bathroom sink I found mom’s Mark Eden Bust Developer. (It did not work, surprise surprise.)

#6

My wife after her mothers death was moving ancient stored crap when she found a book that had naked pictures in it of a man with an erect penis. Along with some kind of sex toys, I think she said there were pictures of a woman in some with her head hidden…

Yes it took her that long to realize she was looking at pictures of her parents, to be fair her father was estranged.

The way she described it I imagined someone’s eyes going cross eyed.

#7

My folks were together just because there were 4 of us kids; hell, if I hadn’t come along, they would never have married or stayed together long, period. My dad built a lot of our furniture, including bunk beds that broke down into singles.

When the youngest was ‘old enough’, and the other 3 pretty much out of the house, my folks split, amicably enough, and my dad helped my mom move out after they sold the house.

One day, at least a decade later, I was visiting my mom and she told me the bed I was sleeping in was one of those beds. That, I knew.

What I didn’t know is the fact she casually dropped a little later, that when my dad was helping her move out, they happily humped on that same bed. :p:p

It always makes me laugh, and smile, to think about that. :stuck_out_tongue: It just…is so incongruous.

#8

Oh, crap! crap! crap! After my parents died there was a box with… odd pictures… now you have me wondering… crap! I knew I should have just thrown them out! I kept them out of curiosity… thinking that I’d show them to my sister one day… Now, they’re in the attic and now I may never go up there again!

CRAP! This day has just been a total mind-twist!

#9

Years ago, I was reading a thread here by someone who found nude photos of their parents. I was laughing about that to Mom & she said “Um, when I pass away, if you ever find an envelope of pictures of your father and I… don’t look further, just get rid of them.”

#10

Not about my parents, but my aunt liked the “Osbournes” reality show.

#11

My dad’s always been, well…kind of prudish. Very private, anyway. Even left the sex talk for my brothers to my poor MOM cause he was too embarassed to do it.

So when my dad started dating again and casually mentioned to me that he ‘Got this lady home and were getting busy and saw her ‘tramp stamp’ and just lost it’…I, well…um…

My brain still kinda hurts. :stuck_out_tongue:

#12

I found a sex “training manual” with my uncle’s name in it in my mother’s bookshelf once. The title was Sane Sex Life and Sane Sex Living, now posted in the public-domain Gutenberg Project files. The copyright date was ca. 1919. A fascinating read, and most of the text is devoted to telling the reader to not worry about sex, it is perfectly natural, but if the reader found him or herself getting excited while reading, just put the book down for a while until recovery kicks in.

My mother’s sex education probably stopped at this book, incredibly uninformative by today’s standards. The only method of birth control mentioned was finding out the wife’s “free time,” which I presumed could only be done after having a shitload of kids and keeping meticulous track of their likely conception dates.

There was no mention of any kind of sex existing other than intercourse. None. Nada.

It’s doubly ironic that when she found me reading Playboy as a teenager, long after I had read her own sex manual (surreptitiously) and was sucking and fucking up a storm, she thought I needed counseling because I was attracted to the opposite sex in the wrong way.