"Hip" phrases to drive my kids wild

In My Humble Opinion
81

[QUOTE=Bayard]
Oh my god. I never really thought that they were doing it on purpose. You mean…they…enjoyed tormenting me?

This thread brings up a repressed memory. When I was 10 or 12, there was a brief fad, at least in my neck of the woods, for declaring things “DECENT!!!”, as in “Your new bike is so DECENT!!!” My brothers and I used this word about every 90 seconds. Then came the day my mom used it casually in front of us, perhaps to describe some bucolic baked good, and then looked upon us as though she had merely said that it was “fine.” We were horrified, and stopped using the word immediately.

Well played, Mom.
[/QUOTE]
Car guys were throwing “decent” around back in the 60s and 70s; I had a 1948 Ford pickup that garnered a lot of “That’s decent, man.” Somewhere around 1995 I saw a kid with a beautiful 1955 Chevy pickup; I looked it over and said, “That’s decent, man.” I got the most blank look I’ve ever received in return.

82

If you really want to torment them, speak entirely in IM phrases, as others have said.

Example:roflmao (however you’d like to pronounce that, when any of them say anything that could be construed as funny, or, this works even better with a lame joke, loudly exclaim “ROFLMAO!!!”)

83

Wow. Disgusting.

I opened this thread to provide a few modern slang terms with which to make the kiddies feel uncomfortable.

I have been outclassed in the field of uncomfortable slang usage by several orders of magnitude here. Truly, the usage of any parental unit of severely stale slang can bring anyone worthy of still carrying their hip card to their knees in wincing agony.

“That’s the way that I roll.” That is so wrong, that it magnifies its effectiveness when used by a parent. To correct it, would be to diminish it’s power.

For those of you whose kids are impervious to Will Smith ca. 1990 lingo, I have a few gems you can use today, just for fun.

The kids these days love leetspeak (I’ll not get into the gory details). Instead of saying “the” they like to spell it “teh”, often pronounced the same way phonetically, teh.

Kids don’t say “sucks” as often as they used to. Online if something sucks, it is teh suxxorz.

Instead of using, chill, relax, calm down, or setlle down Bevis, use “Chillax”. Your kids will writhe in agony.
Things don’t suck anymore, nor are things bad, they are “teh suxxorz” pronounced just like it looks.
Understand, get it, know what i mean, and “am I making myself clear” shall know be spoken “You feel me?”

I’d add more, but you guys are doing a far better job of acting like out of touch wannabe hipsters, than I can ever imagine myself doing some day. I applaud you. Extra kudos to the first parent to use “all that and a bag of chips” tomorrow.

Wow. I’m thankful that my parents weren’t able to do the same thing without being at least a little self-mocking. Had they been as dead pan as some of you, I might have had a heart attack by teh time I was 14, probably from apoplectic seizures. Did you see me sneak that one in there?

I’m actually giggling to myself ever so quietly, thinking about how some peoples breakfast will be turned into an orgy of improperly used, and poorly executed grammatical nightmares.

If my Mom said anything about “all that and a bag of chips” before I was off to school one morning, she might well expect part of a banana to come flying towards her. She would have half expected it though, she knew what she was doing.

Now I understand how many parents are able to deal with teenage kids. Parents can be mean, the kids are right. Hehehe.

84

Douche tastic and all it’s sundries, I first saw on that gentle board filled with manners and gentle folk : Fark.

I cannot tell you just how much I want to use the word: **Douchealicious ** in every day convo.

85

Douchebaggery FTW

86

Me likey teh suxxorz. It’s ataaboc!

Last evening’s “schizzle” got my 16-year old to whine, “Mom, dad’s being annoying!”

Score! :cool:

87

Combining the hip slang with proper English is what works around here:

“That is particularly dope, my young friend.”

“A dispiriting instance of douchebaggery, was it not?”

Also, sometimes my sone will say unto me, “Your mother.” And I will respond “Your grandmother.” My point being that it is not wise to use such language about one’s own forebears. But I don’t think he feels it.

88

[QUOTE=Pithy Moniker]
I abso-shizzle-lutely do both! My peepz think it’s totally garden gnome!
[/QUOTE]

Teacup, yo.

89

None of these things work around my 16 year old. She’s used to it and she just smiles and joins in.

That said, my misuse of drug slang still gets her.

The rules:

  1. Everything is “the” something.

“Do you think they’re on The Crack?”

  1. Misuse the usage.

“Kids today with all the sniffing of The Marijuana and smoking of The LSD.”

  1. Use old slang terms.

Riding the horse. Popping Bennies. On reds. Nose candy. Devil weed.

  1. Make things plural.

*Smoking Cracks. High on pots. *

  1. Make a total mess of it all and mix it together.

*Now honey, if you’re at a party and they bring out the pots and start smoking The LSD, just remember you can just say no. If someone offers you a handful of reds or Bennies or trys to slip you a Mickey, they aren’t your real friends, they’re drug pushers peddling the devil weed. Just say “I’m not a cracks whore. I don’t need to take The Marijuana to be cool”. If you say that, your friends will repect you because, in their minds, they’re thinking the same thing. *

90

[QUOTE=Seven]
None of these things work around my 16 year old. She’s used to it and she just smiles and joins in.

That said, my misuse of drug slang still gets her.

The rules:

  1. Everything is “the” something.

“Do you think they’re on The Crack?”

  1. Misuse the usage.

“Kids today with all the sniffing of The Marijuana and smoking of The LSD.”

  1. Use old slang terms.

Riding the horse. Popping Bennies. On reds. Nose candy. Devil weed.

  1. Make things plural.

*Smoking Cracks. High on pots. *

  1. Make a total mess of it all and mix it together.

*Now honey, if you’re at a party and they bring out the pots and start smoking The LSD, just remember you can just say no. If someone offers you a handful of reds or Bennies or trys to slip you a Mickey, they aren’t your real friends, they’re drug pushers peddling the devil weed. Just say “I’m not a cracks whore. I don’t need to take The Marijuana to be cool”. If you say that, your friends will repect you because, in their minds, they’re thinking the same thing. *
[/QUOTE]

Truly, you are a master in this field.

Your kids will never eat an Quaalude, shoot tobacco, or smoke a piece of acid. The crack is also a form of floor wax, which many people aren’t aware of. “Roofies” are merely journeymen roofing contractors that follow severe storm patterns. Also, they tend to rape people.

“X” is awesome, it makes you feel really cool. Also, it makes you more of an idiot than you could possibly imagine. Just throw your wallet in the street, and hope you get home ok.

GHB is used to make one more susceptible to sexual acts that they would normally refuse. Buttsecks!

The pot is pretty cool. I should say something bad here. You can get arrested for possession of enough of it! Maybe you wouldn’t be doing as much heroin if it weren’t for the damn pot! Asshole!

Crack. Well, it’s really just coke in a slightly different form. Stop doing coke. Also, stop doing crack. Jackass!

This really warrants a new thread IMO.

91

[QUOTE=Captain Socks]
If you really want to torment them, speak entirely in IM phrases, as others have said.

Example:roflmao (however you’d like to pronounce that, when any of them say anything that could be construed as funny, or, this works even better with a lame joke, loudly exclaim “ROFLMAO!!!”)
[/QUOTE]

Even better (or worse, depending on your POV):

Say “Rofflecopter!”

92

There’s also this old standby:

“You kids and your Music these days… with your hippin’ an’ your hoppin, an’ your groovin’ an’ your boppin’… and it gives you The Brain Damage, y’hear?”

You can also mess with your kids by having 'Nam flashbacks, Walter Sobchak style.

"This is not 'Nam, Billy, this is our house. There are rules. I didn’t watch my buddies die face down in the mud so you could sit on your ass and play your X-Cube all day. Hell, we didn’t even have games consoles when I was a kid. Nope, I went straight from High School to Basic Training, and they gave me an M-14 and told me to kill anyone wearing black pyjamas and a lampshade on their head. And those clothes your Goth friends wear look suspiciously like Black Pyjamas to me. Your friends aren’t Communists, are they Billy?"

I’ve also told my fiancee that if we ever have kids, I’m going to buy a pipe, vest, and slippers, and embarrass the hell out of our kids by acting like a Dad from a 1950s TV show when we have company- including, but not limited to, usage of phrases such as “Swell”, “Aw Shucks” and “Gee Whiz”, denouncing of anything I don’t approve of as being “Communism”, and referring to the Radio as “The Wireless” :smiley:

The funny thing is that I already denounce anything I disapprove of as being Communism… :wink:

93

True dat.

94

This is excellence. Makes me want to go home and shoot up tobacco and snort chaw.

I have to admit, Martini Enfield’s submission of Walter Sobchak Defense is sheer brilliance.

I probably won’t work with me as I am a woman and was born during 'Nam, man. but I can growl out, " Shut the fuck up, Donny!"

95

[QUOTE=Martini Enfield]
I’ve also told my fiancee that if we ever have kids, I’m going to buy a pipe, vest, and slippers, and embarrass the hell out of our kids by acting like a Dad from a 1950s TV show when we have company- including, but not limited to, usage of phrases such as “Swell”, “Aw Shucks” and “Gee Whiz”, denouncing of anything I don’t approve of as being “Communism”, and referring to the Radio as “The Wireless” :smiley:

[/QUOTE]

I find this idea dangerously enchanting.

My children shall tremble before me! (Although being female, I’ll have to go with more of a June Cleaver impression).

96

Currently, I am irritating my under-20 acquaintances by using lolcat-speak. Everything is “I can Haz X?” or “Oh Hai!! I’m in your Y, Zing your A”, like “I’m in your fridge, drinking your OJ”.

It pisses them off.

97

::all hail y’all:: Tears, I am laughing so hard over here.

98

[QUOTE=JKellyMap]
Um, how could being called a MILF be a bad thing? (If referring to someone who is indeed a mother, or old enough to be one.)
[/QUOTE]

It might’ve been that her daughter would be squicked out, hearing that her peers looked at her own mother that way. Ewwwww, grody, and all that.

99

What is a cougar? (besides a large mammal of the cat family)

How can I break my husband of saying “super”? He’s not British (IMS super preceded brilliant over there in slang). He keeps telling me to have a super day or if I tell him the kids have plans for X, he says, “super!”. I cringe every time he says this.
Does anyone else remember “booking”? To book was to leave or depart (god knows how it became that). But in the late 70s around here (near Chicago) all of us booked to the store or booked to the party (to party hearty of course) or just, “let’s book!”

Baffles me.

100

A cougar is an older woman who cruises for younger men.