Or…make like a bakery truck and haul buns.
Tell your teenager that you can’t help with homework tonight because you’re hookin’ up with a co-worker.
(My step-daughter nearly fainted when I used that line innocently).
Go to wal-mart and get an old fashioned alarm clock and a chain necklace. Put the clock on the necklace like a pendant. When they look at you like you are ridiculous turn up your nose and say, “Well, if Flavor Flav can pull it off so can I, homie!”
I’m 23 and this thread is still making me seriously uncomfortable. I need to pound a couple of beers and give wedgies to a few chess playing nerds in star wars tshirts. cheers to the end of irony
So many good suggestions. Let’s see. I don’t remember seeing: Tubular, Far Out, or To the Max.
How about Radical?
And in the early to mid eighties, the local kids used to yell “Face!” at each other meaning either ‘you just embarassed yourself’ or ‘I just one-upped you.’ I never saw it on TV or in print, so it may never have spread beyond Davis. But it had a hand gesture (air-grabbing your own face at your victim) and it sounds childish, so maybe you could use it and pretend it’s old cool.
looks around for my time machine
Oh, I’m sorry. I was reading through this thread and for a second I thought I’d been transported back to 1992. “Radical”? “Psych”? “Tubular”? Seriously? C’mon, that would only be funny if you were attempting to be incredibly ironic and even then it wont get more than a curious look from most kids today (or they’d laugh at you for being so out of touch).
Let us younger folks advise you:
Yeah, I think the Harlem Shake is definitely the way to go. I mean, it’s pretty much funny when anyone does the Harlem Shake, particularly old white people (well, when they attempt to do the Harlem Shake anyway). Extra points if you get your wife in on and it she does some booty boppin’ (extra extra points if you yell at her the whole time, “DAMN, BABY! Break yo’ back! Break it, ma!”)
What else? Oh, lots of people say “This is why I’m hot” because of the song by Mims. So instead of saying, “That’s just how I roll” (which is mostly outdated nowadays), substitute that phrase. In fact, listen to the song so you can just sing the hook at semi appropriate moments. So, “I just took out the trash. THIS IS WHY I’M HOT, THIS IS WHY I’M HOT. I’m hot 'cuz I’m fly, you ain’t cuz you not!” Add in a little hip hop bounce dance and your kids are going to be mortified.
“Llama” is coming up as a replacement for “gat” (gun) thanks to 50 Cent’s group G Unit. “Llama” means a big gun, though it would be funny if you used it totally inappropriately, like, “I’m usin’ my llama to water the lawn, yo” (ya know, instead of the hose).
Strictly refer to your wife as your baby momma or main bitch.
“Ayo” is another popular one, thanks to the song “She Wants It (Ayo Technology” by 50 Cent and Justin Timberlake. It’s sort of like, an attention getter/ greeting, like “Hey”. So “Ayo! Go clean your room.”
Money should always be referred to as “cheese”. Some folks say “bread” but that seems to be going the way of “tubular”. Some rappers, along with my friends and I who think it is hilarious, substitute kinds of cheese, instead of saying cheese. Like, “Ayo, Mandy, you got any Brie to go out tonight?” My personal favorite is Havarti, but personalize this as needed. 
“Sick” is really, really bad ass and cool, but that’s an older phrase.
Oh, and all of you suggesting they just add “izzle” to words, be careful. Certain things, like “dizzle” mean dick. Just sayin’.
I remember a website that documented a cool word’s death by the day it was uttered by a host on the Today Show. I think that’s a good standard.
True dat.
One of the books waiting for me at the library is McGraw-Hill’s Dictionary of American Slang and Colloquial Expressions. Look out, droogies! 
Actually, I heard cheddar long before I heard cheese. It was in “Slam” magazine, in reference to an NBA player’s contract. Also, “bones”: “Under his new contract, Kobe will be making mad bones for the next five years.”
I’m going with “ROFFLE - MAO”
-Cem
I think we (and I’m Chicago-area) used to use the term “bolt” after “booked” died.
-CEm
One could always make like a nose and boogie…
The Lakers are making him kill people, to prove his loyalty?
There’s only one way out of the NBA…
I always like to mess that one up.
“Let’s make like a tree, and depart.”
I totally forgot about that! We did that in Miami, too. Often, “ooooh, FACE!” quickly snapping the hand up in front of the face when saying the word. Oh, that was just awful!