Hitler was a meth addict, and other interesting facts

I’m almost all the way through the latest Bathroom Reader. Brilliantly bizzare, as usual. Totem poles, midget luggage thieves, funeral mishaps… and Hitler’s deadly flatulence.

Seems Der Furer was also Der Farter. Hitler was plagued throughout his life by digestive problems, and consequently, gas. Lots of gas. I’d like you to pause a moment and visualize Hitler’s plans for world domination being drowned out by his butt thunder. Thank you.

So anyway, Adolf meets up with the mother of all quack doctors. Snake Oil, MD, manages to convince Hitler that he has the cure for those embarrassing emissions. Hitler signs him up, despite protests from his inner circle.

Dr. Death’s medicine cabinet included “digestive pills” that contained trace amounts of strychnine, and daily “glucose injections” that almost certaintly were amphetamine. By the end of WWII, Hitler was a wreck, physically and mentally. He’d already had a heart attack and a stroke. If he hadn’t killed himself, he probably would have dropped dead anyway.

The moral of the story is, I suppose:

“Beans, beans, they’re good for your heart
The more you eat, the more you fart
The more you fart, the better you feel
So eat your beans with every meal!”

I’m envisioning that now-infinitely parodied scene from Downfall being given the Farting Preacher treatment. Has anyone done this yet? If not, someone should.

I think someone HAS done one with major farting noises.

Wow, thread went Godwin on the first word.

Gotta be a record.


The Winds of War - Hitler blitzkriegs Europe, starting with his lederhosen.

Dr. Snakeoil was actually a mole for the OSS. Underminimg from within, and all that.

I was just coming back to post that a) we’ve got a new line for Godwinizers, and b), that I should have used the term “intestinal blitzkrieg” in the OP. You guys are scary.

The gas was due to Hitler’s stubborn insistance on a vegetarian diet. The pills did nothing to stop the gas and a lot to make a problematic personality even worse.

You know, I have this half-serious theory that meth was as responsible for World War Two as hallucinogens were for the Sixties.

Well, we can use it for our own amusement to stir hate and discontent in discussions on drugs…

You know who also did drugs?


Actung Flatulence!

This thread aches for illustrations.

It’s also been said that he had late stage syphilis as well. He may or may not have, but he was obsessed with thinking he did have it.

Ziehen Sie meinen Finger.

Mein Rektum ist auf Feuer!


Girl in blue: Granma, Uncle Adolf’s let one go again!

One handed.
Full throttle.

Rauchen Verboten!

So then I said, “Mein Fuehrer! Why don’t you let me rub your tummy?”

You know, it brings new theories to the holocaust. For example, the gas chambers at Auschwitz were said to have used Zyklon B – but how do we know Zyklon B wasn’t fully known as “Zyklon Bürzel” (“Cyclone Rump”)? I mean, here was Hitler, wanted to get rid of the Jews, and he had all this excess gas he had to get rid of anyway

You are lucky we came when we did. The Führer was going on an all-cabbage diet.

Actually, according to the article he had gas problems before he went green. He tried out vegetarianism because he thought it would help his gas.