Fruit of the month club. Never underestimate the power of fresh fruit.
I should have included a winking smiley there, because that’s where I was going with that comment.
FWIW - he’s very clear where I stand ethically, and the only really usable advice I gave him was a lot along the lines of people that suggested something personal, as I said back in Post 19.
:: unfolding shit-umbrella ::
Eh, Mr Bus Guy, you don’t have to apologize or explain (at least much beyond your original post) that what you’re doing here. People find what issue that they do (much as I have sometimes in the past) and it has more, infinitely, to do with them than you.
Those would all do- and there are probably others.
You see, those stories all show that’s the sort of crap that one SHOULD NOT do.
Did you actually think those stories lauded that behavior? :dubious:
I guess I’m horrified that the question would even be asked. Some of the posters are treating this like a normal, What Should I Get My Girlfriend for Christmas, when it’s not.
I know there are Dopers with open marriages, and while I would never do that myself, if all parties are in agreement and okay with it, then I can live and let live. But this is cheating on the part of two spouses. It’s sneaky, underhanded, and not to be encouraged or made light of with gift suggestions.
I’m done with my hijack and I’ll get off my soapbox now.
I agree with the DVD idea but was going to suggest Whore.
I have no idea why this is rubbing me so much the wrong way. Normally I couldn’t care less what other people do as long as it doesn’t me personally but for some reason the concept of this thread is really pissing me off.
[hijack]Is that something she would use, and would appreciate having? Is the reusable part important to her (I’m guessing it is)? And she’ll know you thought of what’s important to her? Romantic to me.[/hijack]
- Says the woman whose husband was cheating for years. I finally kicked the bastard out and am much happier now. She can have him.
If this woman is any kind of a nerd (and the coolest women are), your friend might consider looking at events going on at local colleges - open lectures on topics this woman is interested in, indie bands, obscure indie film screenings, things of that sort. It won’t be expensive (it’ll probably be free), and your friend could take your mistress to something she never would have found otherwise. An event at your local university might also be less likely to have the running-into-someone-you-know problem.
Does this even count as a “gift”? Maybe not - but it’s a neat thing to do, and I’ve known a lot of women who absolutely dig that sort of thing.
(For the people shocked at the immorality of all this - yah, I know, it’s sleazy. Incredibly sleazy. But, if you’re going to be sleazy, I figure you might as well be good at it.)
A gift card/certificate, which she can then tell her unsuspecting fool of a husband she won in an office lottery
They should buy each other a clue.
I’ve seen in bookstores and adult novelty shops books of coupons good for all kinds of interesting things for couples and lovers.
Massages, dinners out, all kinds of fun things that two people can do together.
Easily stashed, trashed, or used.
Maybe a gift certificate to the local drugstore… never know when THAT might be needed…
or maybe surprise her with a nicely framed copy of the traditional wedding vows - afterall, it’s only for show - right?
or maybe you should tell your friend that there is a reason she does not want anything from him (you know, maybe there’s more than one and damn if she would have to remember who got her what!)
I am person who tells people “don’t get me anything” and I mean it. So the question is, what to get for someone with that attitude, who means it. And given the situation I assume she does mean it.
Having said that, though, there are things that people can get me–if they must–that show they’re paying attention when I talk, even if they weren’t paying attention when I said “don’t give me anything.” Most of these are things even I, picky old bitch that I am, would find acceptable in those circumstances.
Subscription to a magazine she likes/reads but doesn’t already subscribe to
Membership to museum/botanic gardens/zoo/ballet or symphony season
Or Netflix.
Fruit of the Month (Wine of the month/cheese of the month)
Any perfume she regularly wears
Gift card for manicure, pedicure, day at the spa
And yet in the Bible the character of Lot is held up as being a good and pious man, not only in spite of but because he offers his (allegedly virgin) daughters to the mob outside his door if only they’ll leave the angels sent to protect him alone. What moral law do we derive from this story?
Then there is the bears sent to “tare two and forty children” for making fun of Elisha’s baldness. What moral lesson do we derive from this? What would Jesus (the “If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also,” guy) say about shredding children for some harmless joking.
And then there’s the whole bizarre story of Moses and the Pharaoh, which is apparently some kind of grift job to fool the Egyptians into jerking the Israelites around until everybody is ready to crack, not to mention Tom Paine’s view of Moses: “The character of Moses is the most horrid tale that can be imagined. Moses was a wretch that committed the most horrible atrocities that can be found in the literature of any nation. ‘For Moses said unto them (according to the Bible), kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known a man by lying with him, but all the women that have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves.’ "
The Old Testament is pretty okay in the treatment of adult male Israelites. If you are a chick, a child, or too dark pigmented, however, there’s a good chance that you’re pretty much fucked.
Although Twain was writing about Adventures of Huckleberry Finn he may as well have been opining about the Old Testament when he wrote “Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot.” Looking for a guide to morality in the Old Testament, either exemplar or cautionary is like looking for a plot in a James Fenimore Cooper novel.
Stranger
How do you conclude that this was the reason he was upheld as a paragon of goodness and piety? I don’t see that reason given anywhere in the Old or New Testaments.
Lot’s story as currently interpreted is supposed to teach us the value of hospitality. That a guest under your roof is sacrosanct, and you should even go to the great sacrificial lengths of offering your virgin daughters to the mob (and thus losing any bride price or good marriage match possibilities) in order to keep your guests safe and unviolated. It’s not that having your daughters raped is a good thing, it’s that it’s a *terrible *thing, but still less terrible than having your guests raped.
I know this sounds a bit odd to us in this day and age, but remember we’re talking about desert-dwellers without credit cards, for whom being a stranger in a strange land left one completely at the mercy of the locals, and without strict morals about hospitality, intertribal warfare to “repay dishonor” done was not uncommon. It was a bigger deal to them than to us.
Not really anything there to do with adultery, is there?
I find more support of polygamy in the story of Jacob and his wives, as no one’s punished there for rutting with the old coot.
ANYWAY, I agree that a shared experience or personal interest item is probably this guy’s best bet. I wouldn’t bother with theater tickets, though, as that’s something she could do on her own and probably does quite often. I’m thinking more of setting up a romantic date in the park with a picnic basket, or a trip to the zoo to see the Christmas lights or something along those lines. She’s got money, what she doesn’t have much of is his time.
Okay, now that that’s out of the way, my snarky answer is that he should get her a copy of The Ethical Slut , and one for himself as well.
God sends his angels to rescue him; I don’t know what more indication of being the favored child you need. Of course, he also smites his wife (turning her into a pillar of salt or fire, depending on how you translate) for the sin of being mildly curious about what happened to her former home. Never mind the Problem of Evil; God and his flock don’t seem to need much help from Lucifer or other malcontents in engaging in some egregiously sadistic behavior, at least as described in in the O.T.
Anyway, this diverges from the original topic of what to get your married mistress. Perhaps a large salt lick block, or a woman figurine cigarette lighter.
Stranger
No, he doesn’t. God wants to smite the whole damn county (five cities, including S&G), until Abraham (Lot’s uncle) points out that if there are 50 righteous men there, it’s unsporting to doom them as well. God agrees, and Abraham says, “well, what about if there are 45? 30? 20? Do I hear 10?” God agrees that if there are 10 decent men, he’ll spare the whole place. The angels are sent to try and find 10 decent people. They only find Lot, and decide that they’ll evacuate him and his family, sparing the only righteous man in the area, and let God firebomb the rest.
Pretty decent, I’d say. They did save the good guy, and burn the bad ones. He’s not “favored” so much as “not an asshole”, as is indeed demonstrated by his being a good host and Abrahamite.
The salt thing, I’m less sure of. Modern spin is that Lot’s wife wasn’t so much curious as aching to not leave her wicked ways and comfy home. Still, it seems awfully petty and vindictive to me. When I’m a god, I shall do differently.
(Seriously, if you want Bible horror stories, there’s much better parts. The rape of Dinah, anyone?)
WhyNot already addressed that objection quite well. Moreover, even if we grant your claim, this still doesn’t prove that he was favored because he offered up his virgin daughters.
Remember, that was your specific claim. I see no basis for it anywhere in the Scriptures.