"Hmmm . . . How can we make our state a total laughingstock?"

Utah legislators to themselves: “Let’s see . . . People aren’t making as much fun of Utah as they used to. New Jersey, Arkansas, yeah. But with a religious fanatic in the White House, just being all-Mormon isn’t funny enough anymore . . . Oh! I know!”

SALT LAKE CITY (AP) - It’s official. Utah’s snack of choice is, to the surprise of no one who lives here, Jell-O. The Utah Legislature screeched to a halt Wednesday to recognize Jell-O and pay tribute to Jell-O huckster and comedian Bill Cosby.

Lawmakers approved a resolution designating Jell-O the state snack. Salt Lake City has the highest per capita consumption of the dessert in the world - a distinction lost last year to Des Moines, Iowa, but regained this year. With the state back on top, lawmakers seized the opportunity to declare Jell-O the favorite snack of Utah and set aside an official Jell-O week.

There’s always room for Jell-O.

Observations:

1.) The standing joke in Utah is that the #1 drink is “Mormon Green Punch”. When your religion won’t let you drink coffee, tea, alcohol, or Coca Cola your options are limited, I guess. Going from Green Punch to Lime Jello ain’t that big a step.

2.) I didn’t realize how lower-class gelatine desserts were considered until I read “The Encyclopedia of Bad Taste” (Why single out Jell-O? Let Royal and those generic brands take the heat, too!)To a lot of people, this will only confirm what they thought about the cultural level of Utah.

3.) What does Utah care? They’ve got the Winter Olympics! This will absolve them of a lot. The magical touch of Olympic Gold will transform things Utahn inst instant Cool. Maybe the folks at General Foods are hoping that some of that glamour will rub off onto their product, too.

Hmmm, lets see…

Salt Lake City is dominated by folks who’s religion forbids coffee consumption…

It’s also has the highest per-capita consumption of a bland, textureless, wholly synthetic and non-threatening dessert.

Coincidence?

And, they are doing a lovely job of upholding those Olympic ideals.

How the heck do you SNACK on Jell-O?

When I think “snack,” I get the image of something savory, or at least salty, and which crunches when you bite it.

And Jell-o’s not the most portable food in the world. You’ve got to take the bowl out of the refrigerator, scoop some into a dish, ladle on the Cool Whip, and sit down with a spoon.

Do Utahans stay in their houses a lot? I suppose they do. After all, when they open their door, that’s UTAH out there.

Uke:

It’s “Utahns”, not “Utahans”. I agree it looks weird, but so does “Utahans”. You actually see “Utahns” appearing in the newspaper headlines out there.

Hey, I lived in Utah for four years. “When you open the door, it’s Utah out there” isn’t a put-down, it’s a brag. Damned gorgeous country.

How do you get Jell-O as a snack? They make those Jell-O cup now that they sell in convenience stores. And, I swear, Salt Lake City has the highest concentration of 7-11s I’ve ever seen. Sometimes I think there’s one every other block. (And that’s not even counting the circle K’s and other such places). Getting a cup of Jell-O in SLC is a piece of cake.

Uke? You don’t consider a candy bar a snack?

I’m glad to see your tax dollars are hard at work! I wonder how much time (and, as a direct result, money) was spent debating the merits of other potential official snacks

I still think Utah’s only the #2 laughingstock…I mean, it’s not like you guys re-elected Ted Kennedy :smiley:

::runs::

Are there THAT many hospitals out there that they eat the most Jell-O ? Isn’t that only eaten in hospitals?

Zyada: I’m not really big on sweets. An occasional ice cream cone or a pastry, maybe, but I don’t consume candy on a regular basis.

I think it was John Thorne, or maybe M.F.K. Fisher, who pointed out that when women want a treat, they think “chocolate!” or some other sweet flavor. When men have cravings, it usually leans toward Grease and Meat. Garlic doesn’t hurt, either.

That’s because you’re a New Yorker. We’re talking SLC here. I mean…

I can’t believe I’m gonna go here…

there’s salt in the water!

::groan::

“I’m glad to see your tax dollars are hard at work! I wonder how much time (and, as a direct result, money) was spent debating the merits of other potential official snacks.”

That’s what struck me funny, too . . . Not so much the fact that “Utahnians” spend their leisure hours slurpin’ up the Jell-O (a hideous though, though). let 'em eat Spam and Cheez-Whiz and black Russian caviar all m,ixed up if they wanna.

Bu the fact that the Utah Legislature actually set aside a day to discuss this and pass a resolution bragging about the fact that they are all brimming with Jell-O . . . And, yes, I am shuddering to think of what asininities MY state Legislature is probably thinking up even as I type!

Aw, Uke, I was just tryin’ to tease ya. I was going to mention the single-serving jello but CalMeacham beat me to it.

Eve, who thinks she’s joking, writes:

Announcing the Grand Prize Winner of the “2000 Best SPAM Recipe Competition” - SPAM Cupcakes with Mashed Potato Icing! Don’t believe me? Here’s a picture:

http://www.spam.com/es/es_ci.htm

Click on the picture (if you dare) to see the recipe.

Sorry, Eve, you just can’t be funnier than real life.

Sorry, but I’ve tried garlic with sweet chocolate and it DOES hurt it. Bad. What you need to do is use cocoa and garlic together in a nice poblano sauce. Add the greasy meat and you have a taste orgasm sure to please men and women alike.

As an ex-long time resident of the state of Utah, I can attest to the love of all things Jell-O.

The interesting dishes I’ve tried…what fruit or vegetable hasn’t been gang-pressed into appearing with Jell-O?

None.

None.

Doctor Jackson, you should be strapped to a chair (Clockwork Orange style) and forced to watch Julia Child prepare every known recipe for spam just for posting that link.

Hey! I’m From Masschusetts! So what! He’s a Drunk, it’s not like he did something really stupid like drown his girlfriend whe he drove his car off a bridge.

Oh wait…nevermind that

Well at least he hasn’t legislated Massachusetts’ official “Cocktail”!!!

Yet.
If you want to make your state (Utah) a total “laughingstock” elect a ‘pro wrestler’ Governor.

 Of course not. He'd have to decide on ONE. Like asking most men to choose between their children.