Ok, time for some random quotes to help me express what’s going on in my brain… [ul]
[li]“If you hate it, at least you can feel, but if you think you love it, then you know it’s not real.”[/li][li]“Nowhere man, please listen, you don’t know what you’re missing… nowhere man, can you see me at all?”[/li][li]“In a world full of solutions, there can be no problems.”[/li][li]“You know, Hobbes, sometimes even my lucky rocketship underpants don’t help.”[/li][li]“In matters of conscience, the law of majority has not place.”[/li][li]"‘How do you know I’m mad’ said Alice.[/li]'You must be, ’ said the Cat, ‘or you wouldn’t have come here.’"
[/ul]
Things I’ve been thinking/saying lately… [ul]
[li](directed at Hypergirl)someone’s gotta tell you the truth. you know if [name edited] told you this, you wouldn’t have a problem with it because you see [ditto] as this godlike person. ugh… [snip] i’m never right when it’s not good news. well, at least as long as it’s bad news for you.[/li][li](same convo, response to her saying she doesn’t hurt anyone else)it hurts me to see that you do this to yourself, and it hurts other friends. it hurts us a lot, and emotional pain is much worse a feeling than physical pain. since you cut, you know this. you just want to feel a lesser pain.[/li][li]How do you get someone to see both the beautiful and ugly truths when they see the ugly truths as lies or something said just to hurt them?[/li][li]Sometimes I wonder if all of my friends, including me, should all go to a mental institution and get evaluated. I don’t think I’d be the one with the most problems, but I doubt I’d have the least. At least I try to deal with it in a constructive way.[/li][li]Why the hell was it 37 degrees outside in south florida this morning? That’s just wacky.[/li][li]I swear, the more I say the less progress I make with some of my friends. I push buttons and some people avoid intrusive questions waaaaaay too much.[/li][/ul]
I’ll post some more later. Anyone who is in the stuff I’m dealing with is more than welcome to post, actually I encourage you to post here. Thanks for listening. I know I’m not making a hell of a lot of sense, but this is what’s on my mind now.
Yeah, the 37 degree weather stuck…Frost on my windshield? Not fun to try to scape off with a squeegee at 6:45am wearing a skirt with no leg protection…
Don’t worry…everything will work out somehow…I hope.
Nah, don’t want to go and get psych evaluated, they may not let me leave…going to a regular shrink is bad enough as it is…
I know where you are comimg from. She is starting to worry me. She has some problems that need to be delt with and things can be strange in our lives. Friends will be friends and people will be people
You know what else makes your farts really stink? Some linguica and jalapeno pizza. Had some last night - man, I think I actually singed some hairs with those emissions! I tell you, I damn near cut off my nose to spite my ass! Woo-doggy, but it was a stankity night at the old birdybird house then, I guarantee you that much. Heck, the bathroom walls might just need a new paint of coat after those particular gastric misadventures, that’s for sure. Yep. That’s all I’m sayin’.
Yeah, those things seem more like something meant for a private conversation…Florida 35 degrees? Boo hoo, it’s been in the negative numbers in Pennsylvania and we have to dig our cars out of the snow.
Anyway…
My new psychiatrist is really hot. If my mom hadn’t been in the room…
Anyway, now I get to listen to my mom bitch about how I’m a cold person just because I’m not crying about the fact that the dog I grew up around is being put to sleep tomorrow. I mean, what does she expect? I’ve been to quite a few funerals in the past few years, I’ve kind of been a bit desensitized.
What is on my mind right now…I have a headache, I love my boyfriend, my feet are cold, I hate my mother, and I go to a school full of morons who over react over stupid things and never do anything about important stuff.
Ok, let’s see, that last commmment makes me a moron who overreacts and doesn’t see what’s important. Thanks Jess. Just what I needed to hear. Would you like to lay some more flatulent gems upon my person?
Not you Tasha, the people in charge. Like the fat fucking british bastard. I’m sorry you thought I meant you. Please don’t be mad at me. I don’t need anyone else mad at me/upset with me now.
::goes into the corner and curls into a ball to hide from the world::
Oh, you should have been here in Mississippi New Years weekend. It snowed. Here.
Ugh.
Oh, and as for the rest of it, I don’t know what to say, really. People are going to overreact to the silly things and ignore the things that count all throughout life. It’s hard to get used to, but you do.
Or, I can update you on the progress (if you want to call it that) on changing MS’s unofficial 106 year old flag. That’d cheer you up.
Go ahead, Jess, hide from the world some more. You just knwo that’ll solve all your problems, won’t it? NO, I’m not angry at you, I never am, and I don’t disapprove of what you do, I just don’t condone it and I see how much it hurts you. It hurts to see a friend go out of her way to make herself feel worse, and lie to herself just because she’s afraid of possibly shaming herself. You know, hiding from me is about as useful as spanking me and calling me your naughty drag queen chicken.
No problem, slowhand. I assumed I was gonna get ragged on for posting that, so I’m glad it was appreciated. Of course, I meant coat of paint, not “paint of coat”. The fumes must be making me woozy.
why? i think while def on a diff plane, it was completely on-topic. also with some of the shit flying (and clogging said fan) I think it was something that everyone needed. heck between your post and the jedi/princess bride thread, I’ve almost forgotten that I’m working this effing horrible shift.
I was diagnosed with manic depression yesterday, and now my parents have been acting weird. It’s bugging the heck out of me. Now that my mom knows I attempted suicide (a long time ago), she keeps following me around. Last night we got in a huge fight around 3am just because I happened to be awake. “What are you doing up?!” she screamed. “I couldn’t sleep?” I tried to offer helpfully, then went to the kitchen to get some water. She followed me there, still nagging. Now she wants to ground me some more, as if it would help me. Bah, if she knew any better, grounding me would mean sitting in my room and dwelling on things and cutting myself.
I woke up groggily this morning and walked in for lunch, only to be yelled at some more by both parents. Dad, who has no idea what’s going on, threatened to take a hammer to the computer and destroy it. Oh cool Dad, like that will help. That would only make things worse and would alienate me more. They blabbered on about more things, like that I’ve adopted some “poor me” attitude since going to counseling (I haven’t). What annoys me more is that, if I have such a bad attitude, then why are they sending me to people to begin with? It’s against my will. Mom is the one who drags me out every week to talk to some strange man.
She acts like I do the things I do on purpose. [sarcasm] Yeah, Mom, I chose to be manic. I get a pleasure out of destroying my life.[/sarcasm]
As long as I’m living in this house, I’m going to go insane. Wait…more insane than I already am. :rolleyes:
:mad:
(Sorry for the hijack, but it is called, "Hmmm, I need to do some thinking out loud…)
Maybe I’m tired of being told I’m wrong all the time. Maybe I’m tired of being told and treated like I’m not good enough and that my opinions don’t count. My mother just told me that apparently I can’t handle schoolwork because of missing one or two assignments last trimester. Does she even realize that her smoking and constantly ragging on me does not help the situation? I can handle school and fun and responsibility as long as I am not told constantly that I can’t. I do well in school, my GPA was still kinda high even when I slacked off, I am not doing anything that’s destructive, leave me the fuck alone and stop bringing up what happened a long time ago.
Ok, next thought. Sometimes people don’t realize how blind they are and it truly scares their friends when they can’t see what everyone else does.
Thought number three, coming up: why the hell is the only problem my friends have with me is that I’m “too sexual”? I mean, what’s wrong with being a sexual person? Eh, whatever. They still seem to love me, so I’m happy either way.
What if we lived life balled up inside a shell and never came out?
