Hockey official rant

Names have been changed to protect the dim-witted dumbfucks.

I’m a new hockey official. Means I can work as a linesman at various league games - as a new Level 1 official, kids games. Today, I had my first games. I was a linesman for two games, a PeeWee (12-and-under) game and a Bantam (14-and-under) game. I’m pretty sure I’m not even eligible to ref a Bantam game (15-16 year olds) - and in fact I was under the impression that I wasn’t even able to do the PeeWee games. As a new Level 1 official I’m pretty sure I’m only supposed to do Mites and Sqirts (basically 10-year olds and under).

Anyway, I go into the official’s locker room. My fellow refs are already there. I introduce myself to my co-workers. Let’s call them S and K. In the interests of full disclosure, I tell ‘em up front that I’m a new hockey official, and that I’m ready and eager for any advice and help they can give me. S. is pleasant, shakes my hand, welcomes me to the fold, etc. He was actually an excellent official, great ref. Very even keeled, always professional and confident, and was very supportive. K, meanwhile, rolls his eyes and gives this big old sigh when I introduce myself as a new ref. Apparently having to work with a newbie official is the equivalent for him of drawing latrine duty or something.

First game, S is the referee, K and I are linesmen. The whole game, K just keeps harping on me. “Are you sure you passed the test?” “You don’t know anything, do you?” “They’re letting anyone be an official these days, I guess”. And so on. For the entire game. Ask him a question, and he rolls his eyes and gives the old “what do you think?”. I don’t know, dumbass, if I knew I wouldn’t be asking. So after the first game, we head back into the locker room, I pull K aside and tell him point blank: “Yes I’m a new official. Yes, I’m not always sure of what I should be doing. And yes, I most definitely want, and appreciate, any advice. But there’s no need for you to be a prick about it, and I am not going to take your shit just because you happened to start out as an official earlier than me”. That seemed to kind of set him back on his heels, and I do have to say that he was slightly less of a prick after that.

Second game - K’s the referee, S and I are linesmen. Older kids, checking is legal. Which makes for a much faster pace, far more aggressive game. K, Mr. “I’m frustrated by newbie linesman, because I’m such a great ref” goes out - and calls an absolute shit game. Maybe one of the worst ref jobs I’ve ever seen, and I’ve played hockey for a while. He misses calls left and right, doesn’t call obvious fouls - so the kids feel like they can get away with anything. S and I spend almost the entire first period telling him about calls he missed/didn’t see (linesmen are not allowed to actually call penalties, only referees can). Doesn’t matter, he is just on autopilot.

By the second period you got kids going down left and right, two kids are shaken up pretty badly on very nasty hits from behind (one kid doesn’t make it back on the ice the rest of the game). So K finally starts calling stuff, and now it’s a constant parade to the penalty box. He’s got both benches pissed off, parents trying to come on the ice - he’s lucky he didn’t end up with a hockey stick up his ass (believe me, at times during the first game especially I wanted to help hold him down and with his cheeks spread). At one point K’s just standing there by the scorer’s table, until I come up to him and say, “hey, are we on a time out or something?”. “Uh, no - let’s go, blow the whistle”. I do believe he would have just stood there in a daze unless someone snapped him out of it.

He completely lost control of the game. I’m guessing that he has always equated ‘referee ability’ purely with ’skating ability’. But he hasn’t a friggen’ clue about how to control a game. Even a ‘newbie ref’ like me knows that by missing stuff and not calling things early in the game, things were going to get out of hand.

Funny how big he ran his mouth off when he wasn’t in charge - and how things changed once he had the responsibility over his head. When the Youth Hockey Director looks at the head ref in disgust and tells him he should leave via the fire escape because of irate parents and coaches, it’s probably a bad sign.

Dumb ass. After that steaming pile of elephant shit, he better not say shit to me next time he sees me.

What a dumb ass. From what I’ve heard it’s hard to find refs for kids sports these days because no one wants to put up with all the crap from the coaches and kids parents. Now you have to put up with crap from another ref? What a dick.

Hey, man, thanks for fighting the good fight. I’m not a hockey guy, myself - I work amateur wrestling - but I do feel your pain. I posted a rant here a few years ago after one of my partners on a three-man crew let a cadet (13-u, I think) dislocate his opponent’s shoulder and then railed me for trying to defuse the kid’s coaches after he and the 15-year-old mimic they called our third official ignored the flagrant brutality and gave the offender the win.

Everyone’s a better official when they’re not the one with the whistle.

It sounds, though, like you’ve got a good sense of who you can elarn something from and who you can safely ignore. Around here, it seems that hockey refs rotate crews fairly regularly, so I hope that you end up with more guys like S and fewer like K.

Thanks for not letting this sour you on officiating.