Let me know when you and Revenant Threshold are done making out, sir, and I’ll commense extermination.:rolleyes:
Indeed. Please do. When you’re through with that, please execute me writing staff and replace them with more talented and/or ruthless writers.
(There’s a knocking at the door where the heroes are getting together)
RAP! Rap!
(sound of feet walking to the door, and a view screen being activated)
“Who is it?”
“It’s the catering you ordered!”
“Catering? I don’t remember ordering out.” (Turns and hollers back into the room) “Okay, who ordered takeout? That’s a breach of security protocols you know!”
(sounds of voices raised in denial)
“Are you sure you have the right address?”
“Isn’t this 2525 Archway Manor Drive?”
“Well, yes”
“Then this is yours, or at least whoever called from here. Hey, if you want to stiff me a tip that’s okay, I’ll get my cut back at work, somebody already paid by credit card.”
“You mean you don’t want any money?”
“Nope, but if you want your food fresh I’d open up and take this stuff. There’s fresh baguettes, Brie en croute, a chocolate mocha torte, a fruit platter, and a whole smoked salmon with dill sauce. Oh, and two bottles of Pol Roger.”
“Yummy!”
(The door is opened and the delivery person hands over the two big baskets, then turns and walks away, hat pulled low over the brow, and the beginnings of a small smile on their face.)
Operative Soup, is in my league actually. A league of extroadinary Gentlemen if you perfer. Sometimes we cross paths as allies , sometimes as opposites. In the great game , there is no constant.
My pager is going off again , Agent Axe is requesting some backup
Declan
I fear your paperwork more than any weapon you wield.
Don’t worry, Big Brother is watching him, and knows his vulnerability to rats.
:: At 2525 Archway Manor Drive ::
:: A swarm of small flying things, metallic insects, stream down out of the cloudy sky. They surround the house, pausing at windows, and exploring keyholes and other openings. Some make their way inside.
Those at the windows arrange themselves to cover the glass. As at a prearranged signal, they suddenly emit light. The light from one flier might be inconsiderable, but the light from hundreds is blinding. Funriture inside the rooms is fired as the occupants scorch, scream and fall.
People start throwing themselves out doors and windows, pursued by clusters of insects that are chewing into them. The house starts to burn vigorously. Inside, the insects ignore the flames and perform a methodical ransacking of the place, destroying computers, rifling safes, and wrecking bookshelves and filing cabinets.
Ijn a few moments, no-one still at the scene is left alive. The insects abruptly depart the house, swirl into a mass above it, and streak away into the clouds.
There are sirens. ::
Mission accomplished, Mr Smith
Excellent. BWA-HA-ha. Ahem.
Sirs, sirs! You have it all wrong!
Dear Revenant Threshold! You seek to eliminate evil from the world- that’s good, that’s a positive step. But we are not the target you seek!
starts slideshow
As you can see, Winston Smith Enterprises is a modern, up-to-date comapny, commited to serving not only the interests of out shareholders and directors, but also of our employees and the community as a whole! We are the world’s leading producer of exotic superweapons, bizarre neurotoxins, and hidoeus freaks of nature (or, as we prefer to call them, your “fun-time freaky-face superfriend!”)- all those products which serve the community. We also have major infrastructure building contracts for Brazil, Japan, the continent of Australia, and the states of Rhode Island, Nevada and New Mexico, following a string of strange accidents (the FEMA calls them “man-made disasters”, but let’s not get bogged down in details) that were not in any way connected to the seventeen international terrorists on our payrolls.
Under the benevolent influence of Winston Smith, CEO and All-Round-Swell Guy (also President of the Regional Company Officees- formerly Brazil, Japan, the Continent of Australia and so on) our company is committed to “spreadin’ the goodtime vibes” (registered trademark) into every corner of the solar system! We know that, given the joyous reports of those who work for, and with, Mr. Smith (gathered by our Corporate Information, Intimidation and Provocations division), that people are just plain happier wrapped in the warm embrace of the company than they are out in the big wide world. After all, we provide free healthcare, free social security, a guarenteed position for the rest of your natural life, and a beautiful funeral. And with our monopoly on reanimation holdings in the Western Hemisphere, even once you’re dead, you won’t be left out of our inclusive workplace enviroment. All we ask in return for this genrous package is that you surrender a few unimportant little rights. After all, Happiness is Freedom. Just hear these testimonials from grateful members of the Winston Smith Enterprises team:
There. Those weren’t actors, folks, they were vauled members of the Winston Smith team. It’s about people, really. And that’s why we at Winston Smith are determined to grow as much as possible, consolidate as much as possible, and help bring our loving warmth (like a delightfully heated cage) to as many people as possible.
You see, Revenant_Threshold? We both want the same thing! We both want to help the world! But whereas your help is, while well-intentioned, destructive, ours is CONSTRUCTIVE. Just consider- how many people does your League of Heroes employ? Well, Winston Smith has nearly 17 million beneath its iron embrace- and still growing! Think of people like Regallag or poor Pedro, there. What would happen if the company closed down? They’d be ruined! And how much do you donate to charity? Winston Smith makes an annual personal donation of seven billion Egyptian dollars a month to well-known, registered charities, like the Institute for the Upkeep of Retired Supervillians, or D.O.O.M., the [CLASSIFIED]. Why, I’ll bet that your property damage bill (superhero-supervillain fights do cause an awful lot, after all) is twice that alone!
Plus, even if after all of that, you were still commited to wiping out W.S.E., consider something else- you can never DEFEAT the supervillain- he’ll just come back at the beginning of the next movie (I didn’t get my degree in malgeniusology for nothing). Instead, why not join Winston Smith Enterprises, reform the system from within, and purge the more undesirable elements of our company through a career in human resources or our administrative oversight department? We’re the modern, caring face of supervillainry- why exterminate, when you can consolidate?
Plus we offer big bonuses to successful executives, and I’m sure that as a well-experienced member of the industry, you’d slot straight into one of our management fast-track programs. Consider the benefits: your own personalised limo-jet-boat-rocket. A personal secretary named Evilena, in tight-fitting evil leather corset and pants (or Evilbruce, if that’s your thing. He’d be bare-chested, of course). Full access to the company swimming pool (formerly the Red Sea) and our special management relaxation facilities (formerly the city of Las Vegas- we didn’t take over Nevada just for Area 51, you know.) Full access to our labs, with their EXCELLENT cloning facilities. This is my seventeenth body, you know- as soon as one gets fat, or old, or dead, just get a new one! Come on- whats a career in superheroism gonna get you? Just old, poor, and forgotten. But if you are a successful member of Winston Smith Enterprises, everyone will remember you for the rest of history- if only because you’ll be there to tell 'em!
Come on- join Winston Smith Enterprises TODAY!
-Happy Clam, Director of Marketing and Public Information
Paid for by the Winston Smith Enterprise Propoganda and Disinformation Campaign
No responses to my generous offer? Well, perhaps they WERE all vapourised by Winston Smith’s henchmen. Such a waste of a good marketing campaign…
<crude Smith henchman>
Or they’re still running like the dogs they are! Haw! Haw! Haw!
</crude Smith henchman>