There’s a new condo complex in town, and oh my god are they pretentious. (Click on “Residential.”) From the tinkly, factory-setting midi music (that is obviously supposed to be representative of über-hip jazz) to the little blurbs that are supposed to represent what kind of über-asshole wants to live in this complex to the names of the tiny little apartments* (592 to a whopping 947 square feet - for approx. $350,000 and up) to the pretentious fonts to the pretentious capitalization and punctuation to the pretentious colours, this site just make me want to punch somebody. Probably the Armani-wearing, hair-gelled, square-glasses, cell-phone-as-umbilical-cord assholes who created it in their über-chic downtown “media group.”
Have I mentioned I think it’s a tad pretentious? Is this something that we are just going to have to get used to, living in “THE HEART OF THE NEW WEST” (as pretentious people are calling Calgary)? I have to go listen to some Rob Zombie now to get that music out of my head.
*(Under “profiles and plans”) This part is either sad or funny - they named one of the tiny, one-bedroom condos “Duet.” Ha? The rest of the names are Alto, Bass, Concerto, Drum, Forte, Flute, Guitar, and Jazz. I think I see a theme. At the building known as “Keynote.” Too cute for words. No, wait, I think a word for it is coming - pretentious.