Holy shit, faculty meeting at my old HS meets WWF

I can’t believe this. According to this article from the student paper at my old school, a faculty meeting to discuss schedule changes broke out into an all out brawl.

Funny how the cup “unfortunately” missed the student. Probably an apt word choice, because I don’t think the student would have lashed out the way the teacher did. And “tufts of hair?” Wow. Sounds like my house when my normally placid cats have been fighting over territory.

Apparently you can take the teacher out of the karate studio, but you can’t take the karate out of the teacher.

All quail before the Ruler Of Death!

A mug to the mug, apparently. But at least the threat of the Ruler Of Death was no more.

Eventually, the story continues, the police were called in by a teacher who wished to remain anonymous. The offenders are sentenced to anger management classes, but I can’t imagine that something like this will blow over.

I’ve joked about this here, but actually I’m appalled. Has anyone else ever heard of a faculty meeting punch-up like this, at their school?

“Ruler of Death?” I can’t believe it either. That article has got to be a joke.

O come on. That is some kind of giant whoosh. The pacifist teacher declares “the Ruler of Death” and then knocks out her best friend? The police shoot tear gas? Did you see that posed picture of the two teachers with the stool? This is some kind of student newspaper joke. Really. Read it again.

Well, I was able to find the named teachers on the school’s website (except for Lyons). My memory of high-school teacher-student relations would preclude such a joke article from naming real people.

All of which only goes to reinforce the lesson I learned by rote at my own high school:

“Uni High sucks!!!” :smiley:

Could it be things have changed? Do you think this might have made it into the local media as well as the student paper?

From the article:

However, the most recent meeting ended in **three broken legs, eight dislocated shoulders, many cuts and bruises and many hurt teachers in tears.
There were tufts of hair all over the floor and many reported hurt feelings in the end.

After English teacher Kristin Lyons, who is known for her pacifism, was attacked, she ran up to the stage and yelled at the fighting teachers, “All you idiots will pay for your insolence! Meet your worst nightmare: the Ruler of Death!” Once she said this, she reportedly pulled out a ruler she normally uses to hit students who do not turn their work in on time and dived into the crowd.

Another frightened teacher, who wished to remain anonymous, called the police to stop to the fighting. Once they came,** they threw tear gas into the auditorium and a judge required the teachers to go to group therapy once a week.**

All bolding mine.

Yeah, it might be real. After all, it didn’t explicitly say “ha ha ha” at the end.

:: points and laughs at Spectre ::


The giveaway was The Ruler of Death. “Used to hit students who failed to turn in work.” In L.A. Hit a student. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. :smiley:

I’ve been to contentious faculty meetings, but they’ve never had to call in the riot squad.

Definitely a joke. The karate chopping, the beret and mug… this sounds like they’re parodying the idosyncracies of various teachers. This is exactly the sort of thing my high school paper used to put out every April 1st.

For a link to the article rather than the front page of the site, try here.

It’s got to be a fake. I mean, if it were any sort of meeting where that kind of melee broke out, it would have made the national news, but . . . teachers? They’d be listening to the story in Zimbabwe and shaking their heads over the nutty teachers.

Your naïveté charms and amuses me, Spectre of Pithecanthropus.

An obvious whoosh, but if nothing else will convince the OP, here’s the deadest giveaway, from the photo caption:


It sounds hilarious, but it’s clearly a joke.

Well, that and the fact that the photo was taken by a gentleman named Nazi Lolachi.

Not to mention the hardly veiled smirks on the teachers faces. This is the most convincing element beside the sensationalism and technically deficient writing. P.S. That photo was taken by a Nazi.

What? No mention of Weapons of Math Instruction?

Oh I am so glad I’ve muted my end of this big, boring conference call. Explaining the ungraceful guffaw might have been a feat.