Holy Shit! Stop feeling sorry for me!

Ok. So far, in 24 hours I have encouraged the sympathy of two people on this board. Why do they feel sorry for me!? Why, you ask!? Not because some disasterous malady has befallen me, but because I don’t share their opinion.

I got one person feeling sorry for me because I dont like pets. “Oh, how bad it must be to live in a world where you are not free to love little animals as pets. Your life must be incomplete and full of woe!” Uh. No. not really. I just dont like pets. I dont like other people’s pets and I wouldn’t even consider owing an animal for my own personal pleasure. Does that make my life a waste? I guess so.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=58667

I got another person feeling sorry for me because I cant consider children beautiful w/o considering what a horrid society the child will be raised in. A society where beauty reins and ugliness is shunned. “Oh, your life must be horrid because you have to analize society when people call a child beautiful.” sigh It just makes me sad that everyone feels compelled to comment on outward appearance, even when something is so young and undeveloped.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=58522

Why does everone feel sorry for me just because I dont agree with them. No my life is not fucking incomplete, it is just different from yours! I dont choose to view things as beautiful simply based on outward appearance. I dont choose to domesticate and keep an animal. Jeeze. Don’t feel sorry for me because you dont consider me as “enlightened” as you or as “fulfilled” as you. I dont want your pity, I only want to understand your view. Pity is only condescending.

Ok.

I feel sorry for you because you have been having so much trouble naming your breasts. ( Didja consider Tweeledee and Tweedledum?)

I pity the fool

I hear ya on the children thing. Sheesh, you’d think that people who like to comment about society would respect the fact that you aren’t trying to overpopulate the planet or suck down welfare by having nine hundred kids. It’s a baby, not a paycheck people. Can you tell I don’t like moochers? Well, time to go get lost inside the fog that’s inside my head again.

punk snot dead,
broccoli!

Only micro-moments after posting this thread, I said to my self, “racerx, as soon as you tell people not to feel sorry for you, they will.”

Weirddave the names are Chim Chim (ala ChiefScott) and right ascension (ala the/my boy). No, the names dont seem to have any similarity but therein lies the genius.

BWAHAHAHA!! :slight_smile:

Man, an unexpected Mr. T reference is just funny stuff.

I was one of the feel sorry-ers.

first of all, broccoli, that fog must be pretty thick. I wasn’t commenting on her decision to not have kids. That was one line that racerx made, and I respect her decision. Any decision that people make about not having children is fine with me.

I apologize for my choice of words and my tone, if it came across as condescending. But I think that’s about it. She has turned a fart into a shitstorm.

racerx, this is the second time in two threads you’re assuming a thought process of mine. Once is completely forgivable, two times is starting to border on annoying. Never once did I say that your life was incomplete, or imply it. Never once did I say that you were less enlightened or less fulfilled than anyone else. So stop with that.

What you’re doing is taking a distinct example and trying to paint me with a wide brush. When you say:

If you’re trying to imply that I am shallow and can’t see anything past appearance, then I cordially invite you to suck my right nut. I simply said that I find mixed babies to generally be cute or beautiful, and you’ve turned it into some ordeal about the evils of society. I know there are plenty of things that contribute to a persons worth – Intellect, personality, sense of humor, among other things. But if I can’t comment on a baby being cute without you assuming I am shallow and that I base a person’s worth on their appearance, then you have a problem. And per your request, I now don’t feel sorry at all for you. You are free to think whatever you want about appearances and society. Just don’t project your problems with society on me.

mouthbreather, it wasnt just you who said the babies were so cute. There were approximately 5 or more people discussing beautiful children. You were the only one to take interest/a stand about my question, and I appreciate that.

No, I dont think you are shallow just because you call a baby cute, so there will be no nut sucking today. But you probably do have a different value system than I have, but I will not pity you for it.

Yes I’m blowing this out of proportion because it is insulting to me and it happened twice in one day! When someone says they feel sorry for you, and there is no apparant real reason for the pity it is very condescending. It says more than, “I feel sorry for you.” It says, “I feel sorry for you because yudda, yudda, yudda. . . (I wont fill in words for you.)”

Thank you for taking back your pity. Thats one less feeling sorry for me because I dont share their opinion.

I don’t feel sorry for you anymore, I feel sorry for your breasts to whom you have given pet names.

I guess since this is out in the open, there’s something I don’t understand, racerx.

Say you run into a old friend of yours, that has had a child sine you last saw her/him. You talk for a few minutes, and you observe the baby. Upon what criteria do you evaluate the baby?

I don’t give them pet names, others do. I merely use the names they have been given. And my breasts do not want your pity either.

mouthbreather I guess I dont evaluate babies, although granted I don’t have much interaction with them. My brother has some kids and I play with the toddlers, but the babies are too breakable for my taste.

Three days ago the boy and I ran into an acquaintance that just had a baby within the last month. I said, “Is there a baby in there or just a bundle of blankets?” They unveil her and said, “No there is a baby. Her name is suchandsuch.” Awkward pause Then the boy says the obligatory, “Well she sure is a cutie. Hey, everyone was waiting for someone to say it.”

Eh. My feelings are babies aren’t much fun till they get big enough to play with and spoil. Once again, let me repeat that I dont intend on having kids.

I guess my point in asking is that you seemed so adament in you point that (correct me if I’m wrong) there is so much more to judge people on than looks alone. I agree, but not with babies. Babies eat, shit, sleep, cry, and (for the most part – casue there are some ugly babies) look cute. Not too much else you can evaluate them on until they learn to communicate. One exception being temperment, I suppose.

mouthbreather, I guess my real problem was that the thread wasn’t specifically talking about babies, I thought it was more talking about children. And children do have personalities, which is what I think they should be evaluated on. I am adament about this because I dont think children should grow up constantly hearing, “My what a beautiful child.” (Although hearing that they are beautiful, to some extent, is very healthy.) But if that is all they are praised on, then they will grow up with a warped sense of self worth, not valuing their other skills, talents and gifts. No one in the thread said, SoandSo had very talented/bright/hilarious children. That bothered me.

I encourage you to go read the tread again. Of everyone in that thread who commented on the appearance of multiracial children, here is the breakdown.

My comments were in the third party, (I personally don’t know any biracial kids ) passing a baby in the mall sort of way “gee, that was a cute baby”. If I don’t know them, I certainly couldn’t judge their intellect/personality, etc.

Veb was just saying that from a distance (i.e. not personally knowing any of them) that they are typically beautiful.

Carina42 said that in addition to looking exotic, kid in question was “already smart as hell”.

Kayeby was simply relaying some comments that she had recieved about IF she and her bf ever WERE to have kids.

Meephead said “Beyond being gorgeous, they were polite, intelligent, well-adjusted kids that I am thankful that I had the chance to meet.”

mouthbreather I wasn’t referring to you, or racerx - I was referring to people in general; and yes, the fog is thick :smiley:

…now back to my daydreams of a non-computer job on a beach in the sun with a cold beer and a real punk radio station…

damn there’s the phone

punk snot dead

Right. Two people mentioned something other than beauty. Sorry for my negligence. Still, even in context, I feel thats alot of commentary on beauty. Thats just my opinion.

I just re-read this thread, and I missed this above.

You said:

I’d like to make it known that I never felt sorry for you because our opinions differed. I felt (past tense) sorry for you because of the fact that I couldn’t express an innocent opinion without you attributing the evils of society on me when I do so.
Back to the point at hand – of the 5 people who made comments about appearance, only 3 were talking about specific people. The other two said “I think these features are attractive”. Now, of the three that were talking about kids they knew (and therefore would be in a position to judge something other than appearance), that leaves only one person who actually knew a child who commented only on it’s appearance.
Which makes me wonder if you have a problem with people commenting on who/what they find attractive?

Jesus, this sounds like a tempest in a teapot.

Hey racerx, my 15 month old son seems to be incredibly bright, he has a great sense of humor and he’s really fun to play with. Oh and guess what- he’s really cute!

So, did I negate the other things I said about my son because I also made a comment on his appearance? Of course not, don’t be ridiculous. There is nothing wrong with calling a baby cute, and it says nothing deep about lifestyle or society.

Why are you so touchy about the issue of appearance? I am no goddess, but I look good and feel good. I love it when my husband tells me I’m beautiful, and I almost kissed a woman the other day who commented that my jeans made my waist look really small. :smiley: I’m not psychotic, it’s just nice to get compliments.

IMHO, it is ok to call something or someone beautiful based on outside appearance. It’s not shallow, it’s a first glance opinion. If the person is actually butt-ugly on the inside, I’ll mention that too.

mouthbreather, once again. I understand the point you are trying to make regarding what people said in the thread (knowing a specific child vs. generalization) I still think that is alot of attention to appearance. Just my opinion.

Once again, you were just one of many who commented on the subject. 5 people mentioning the cuteness of a baby is excessive enough to bring thoughts of society’s problems to my mind. If only one or two had said something about it, the thought prolly wouldn’t have occured to me. I didn’t intend to atribute all of socity’s ills to you, but you seem to think I have.

EJsGirl, I dont know if you read this entire thread, but I mentioned something about how I thought attention to appearance was fine if it was accompanied with attention to other skills (granted, I expressed this, not in so many words.)

I dont know how to express my angst properly. To me saying, “Their children are very beautiful” is almost like saying, “Their children are very Asian.” (Although, I dont consider Asian a subjective term like beauty.) The thing is, the child had nothing to do with their appearance or race, and just like race shouldn’t matter, neither should appearance. (Maybe you think these things should matter.) Granted both attributes will influnece the child’s life because thats how the world is. Because that is how the world is, I understand the need to occasionally let a child know that they are beautiful.

FTR, I am very comfortable with my appearance too. I like to be complimented when I look nice, I also like to be complimented when I make a good suggestion, display strength of character etc. . .

You have my deepest sympathy over your inability to use apostrophes consistently.