Homophobic? come work with me!

No, seriously. I don’t have enough people around me all day that make comments out their ass all day long. I swear to god I am the only one here who has joined the 20th century.

Not even 5 minutes ago a co-worker and I were talking casually about “ER” and who the only original cast members were. I mentioned Carrie (I think that’s her name? the one that walks with a cane?). Anyway, on the show she is a lesbian, and my co-worker complained loudly and bitterly that they showed them kissing. Now, I am used to the fuckwads here making lame comments about gays and I usually just let it go or say something sarcastic and walk away, hoping (ok, stupidly, as they are not so good at the art of reading people’s emotional state) that by not joining in they will get the hint; but I have been feeling down on myself lately for letting things like this go and not speaking up. (Background, I have only been here a year and a half, which is relatively new compared to all the others. I am also young and female in an engineering company, and I have trouble with people taking me seriously anyway). I simply responded that “so what? They show hetero couples doing way more than that” just so maybe he would take a hint that I wasn’t thinking the same way he was. He replies, “yeah, but that’s normal.”

Me: “normal is apparently a relative term. What’s normal is different for different people.”
Co-worker: "what are you, some kind of lesbo supporter or something?’

I am not kidding. He actually said this to me. What. The. Fuck.

I am still trying to be polite at this point, but we are in an open area (all our desks are in one big room) and by now others have joined in. Still trying to be rational, as I have learned that getting emotional over things like this does not make people take you more seriously. So I just say, “you know, some people might have friends or family members who are gay, and not appreciate comments like that.” Period. I really don’t have the patience or the desire to get into it with any of these guys, who by now are all listening. Other engineer chimes in: Incredulously, “you learned this at (name of well-known Christian liberal arts college that I went to)?” To which I reply, “well, I knew it before I went there, but my education there did support this theory, yes.”
Him: “I find that very hard to believe.”
Me: “Because I can’t be a Christian and not be opposed to gays?”
Him: “well, I didn’t say you had to hate gays, but what they do is wrong. I don’t hate alcoholics.”
At this point I am a raging ball of frustration and disbelief, but amazingly display a calm, cool exterior (must be that new deodorant).
Me: “I think there is a difference between being an alcoholic and being gay.”

At this point my brother-in-law, who also works here, says to the 2 guys, “you probably shouldn’t argue with her about this.” (he’s also not the most open-minded person in the world, but at least has the sense to shut up about it, and is not out to hurt or put anyone down).

Now I am sitting here typing this and a third, senior engineer who has witnessed this all (as has the whole office) , trying to break the tension, says to me " you know, I just hate lesbians because there’s less to go around."

Well, ok, then! Ha,Ha! Now I feel soooo much better.
As I type I can hear them whispering about me, muttering under their breaths, literally. Hello! I am 2 desks away from you. I can hear you! Senior engineer “mutter mutter Well, I don’t know the good book that well but I seem to recall something about man joining with woman.”
1st engineer: nodding, “that’s right”, like this should be obvious to me.

That’s right, moron. you don’t know the “good book” that well so shut the fuck up.

I can also hear you telling the other who were in the other room what happened. “well the subject of lesbians came up and Velma seems to think that it’s ok.”

I look right at him. “yes, I seem to be in the minority at this office. that’s ok.” It’s not a secret. I am not ashamed of it. You can say it to my face.

I can hear you, dumbass!

Someone please come and get me. I do not belong here. This wasn’t even my major! Do you hear me? Not my major!

So, to all my co-workers, who not one said a word of support to me, and who I have heard almost every one say something derogatory about gays, and with whose patronizing, woman-bashing, homophobic, derogatory jokes and comments I must put up with every day, a hearty “fuck you sideways, upside-down, and inside-out, with a 10 foot dildo, except you wouldn’t appreciate it.”
That is all.

You see what these people have reduced me to.

::chasing after those pesky wayward IQ points::

come back! Nooooo…

You have guts. You should be really proud for standing up to those guys. As well, you should be proud for obviously being ten times as intelligent, open-minded and, well, correct than they are.

I know what you mean (even if you don’t :smiley: ).

We recently had a young woman (who was bi) doing data entry for my company. One of the idiots I have to put up with made the classic comment, “She just ain’t found the right man.”

I’m thinking, “Oh yeah, YOU’RE the guy who’s gonna make her straight.”

Another line from Brainiac, “Why would any man choose to be gay?”


I respond with, "Well, how about black guys who are gay? What are they thinking? “Let’s see, I’m a black man. That would be enough for anyone to deal with in this country. Wait! I like a challenge, think I’ll be gay, too!” "

Of course, I get no intelligent response.

This particular idiot constantly provides me with proof man evolved from a lower life form. He’s definitely “missing link” material.

Well, Velma, you have to get them to join the 20th century before they’ll be ready for the 21st.

Funny…I just had an experience on this very subject.

Having a chat with my boss, one of the presidents of our industrial services roll-up, about music. We were discussing which acts he wanted to buy seats for, and spotted Melissa Etheridge on one list, but chose Mellencamp out of that list.

I said, “I’m not crazy about either one, but between the two I’d pick Etheridge.”

He said, “She’s not bad…I saw her in concert once. But I went before I found out she was gay, of course.”

He continued too quickly for me to say anything…but it was certainly an odd comment. What, he’d never knowingly attend a concert where the act was openly gay? Uh…I don’t get it.

I don’t know. In a work environment I am generally loath to bring up any topic that is hotly debated – abortion, religion, and sexuality are the big three. But if someone says something disparaging or flat-out stupid about any of them to me? I should be able to return the favor. Often I do. But sometimes, I just don’t feel like having the fight.

How long, do you reckon, before they start suggesting that your failure to condemn gays is indicative of something not quite ‘normal’ (ha) about you?

This happened to me several years ago. I was told by some co-workers that other co-workers were questioning my sexual orientation. They figured that, since I never discussed dating or having a girlfriend, I MUST be gay!

My reply, “Well, you’ve never seen me take a shit either, does that mean I don’t?”

That pretty much ended the subject.

You’re in an engineering company, right?

Can I just say that not all engineers are misogynistic, homophobic, socially-challenged halitosic troglodyte fashion disasters? Some of us do have two clues to rub together.

But damn, so many of my coworkers are trapped in the fifties, it makes me ashamed sometimes to call myself an engineer.

This sounds like a public school. Only imbuened with more ignorance.

I’ve had plenty of office battles, myself. The trick is to stay calm, use small words, and try not to let them piss you off. (Boy, is that hard!)

Unfortunately, it’s likely you won’t ever change their attitudes. The best you’ll be able to manage is to get them to stop spouting homophobic, misogynistic crap when you’re within earshot.

But that shouldn’t stop you from fighting the good fight.

Last summer when I worked in a construction yard of sorts:

“Homosexuality is a choice.”

“Those fags fucking molest little boys, you know?”

Such a joy to work there. Oh yes.

Woh, what part of the nation (world?) puts out engineers who are that dense?

Didn’t somebody ever give them an analytical thinking class? Hell I know that at least BASIC logic SHOULD BE required for that career path. . . .

Yeesh, engineering is supposed to be a LIBERAL field damnit, who the hell let the conservatives in? (yeesh, and to think that we used to have problems with commies and other extremist liberals! woh)

I haven’t met one person in the sciences who IS highly religious, hell, I know more Lesbians then I do religious conservatives. . . .

(actually I have never MET a religious conservative in real life, I think that they are an endangered species in the part of the US that I inhabit. :smiley: )

No, no, no. Obviously before he knew that Etheridge was gay, she was a very good musician, but once the “taint” of gay/lesbianism was stuck to her, all musical talent apparently exited her body.

Uh huh.

You can tell your boss that He’s an IDIOT!!!

And now for one of my new favorite lines,

Velma, bravo.

I guess I’ll play devils advocate. Just for the record, I am not against gay folks or anything.

Couple of my gay rules:
-DO NOT HIT ON ME. I can not stress this enough.

-I am not a homophobe because I don’t find Will & Grace funny

-Do not imply that my token gay friends are “the only ones i know about”. It matters to me about as much as the me not knowing my friends are Lutherans or half-Mexican or something.

-Do not come out of the closet to me as if you just invented cold fusion. Odds are I have already figured out that you are gay before you tell me.

-Expect the same crude non-PC jokes from me and my friends that we give each other.

Heh! Born-Again (former) Reactor Operator, (former) IT consultant, numbers geek, and general technophile.

Science just makes God more wonderful.

Figure that one out, hey?
Back to the topic at hand…
Engineers are just as capable, if not more capable, of close-mindedness as anyone else: They’re to relly on their own conclusions, and are paid well for it. Unfortunately, this allows many to fall into the trap of assuming that because their engineering conclusions are valid and valuable, so are all their other conclusions, informed or not.

It’s called "False Authority Syndrome.

Bah. Preview and all, I still screwed it up. This:

Should read like this:

[sub]fixed coding[/sub]

Yah, but by the time they are done having logical methods pounded into them, most people give up on the whole entire “The Bible is 100% accurate” spewl. Kind of hard to, heh, the darn thing disagrees with itself SOOO many times. Some good lessons in there, and I AM Christian, but darned if I subscribe to any one particular church, ugh.

<o---- the Indie Christian. :smiley: :smiley: :smiley:

A lot of people end up giving up on God’s existence as well, heck I have argued both sides of the debate a fair number of times, not like proving that God doesn’t exist is all that hard, hehe.

But annnyways.

Yah Science does indeed make God all the more glorious, because it belies the try beauty of His creation.

Well that and if God DOES exist then sooner or later Science will Find Him. Science is the study of all, there is just a lot of all. . . . :slight_smile: