No, seriously. I don’t have enough people around me all day that make comments out their ass all day long. I swear to god I am the only one here who has joined the 20th century.
Not even 5 minutes ago a co-worker and I were talking casually about “ER” and who the only original cast members were. I mentioned Carrie (I think that’s her name? the one that walks with a cane?). Anyway, on the show she is a lesbian, and my co-worker complained loudly and bitterly that they showed them kissing. Now, I am used to the fuckwads here making lame comments about gays and I usually just let it go or say something sarcastic and walk away, hoping (ok, stupidly, as they are not so good at the art of reading people’s emotional state) that by not joining in they will get the hint; but I have been feeling down on myself lately for letting things like this go and not speaking up. (Background, I have only been here a year and a half, which is relatively new compared to all the others. I am also young and female in an engineering company, and I have trouble with people taking me seriously anyway). I simply responded that “so what? They show hetero couples doing way more than that” just so maybe he would take a hint that I wasn’t thinking the same way he was. He replies, “yeah, but that’s normal.”
Me: “normal is apparently a relative term. What’s normal is different for different people.”
Co-worker: "what are you, some kind of lesbo supporter or something?’
I am not kidding. He actually said this to me. What. The. Fuck.
I am still trying to be polite at this point, but we are in an open area (all our desks are in one big room) and by now others have joined in. Still trying to be rational, as I have learned that getting emotional over things like this does not make people take you more seriously. So I just say, “you know, some people might have friends or family members who are gay, and not appreciate comments like that.” Period. I really don’t have the patience or the desire to get into it with any of these guys, who by now are all listening. Other engineer chimes in: Incredulously, “you learned this at (name of well-known Christian liberal arts college that I went to)?” To which I reply, “well, I knew it before I went there, but my education there did support this theory, yes.”
Him: “I find that very hard to believe.”
Me: “Because I can’t be a Christian and not be opposed to gays?”
Him: “well, I didn’t say you had to hate gays, but what they do is wrong. I don’t hate alcoholics.”
At this point I am a raging ball of frustration and disbelief, but amazingly display a calm, cool exterior (must be that new deodorant).
Me: “I think there is a difference between being an alcoholic and being gay.”
At this point my brother-in-law, who also works here, says to the 2 guys, “you probably shouldn’t argue with her about this.” (he’s also not the most open-minded person in the world, but at least has the sense to shut up about it, and is not out to hurt or put anyone down).
Now I am sitting here typing this and a third, senior engineer who has witnessed this all (as has the whole office) , trying to break the tension, says to me " you know, I just hate lesbians because there’s less to go around."
Well, ok, then! Ha,Ha! Now I feel soooo much better.
As I type I can hear them whispering about me, muttering under their breaths, literally. Hello! I am 2 desks away from you. I can hear you! Senior engineer “mutter mutter Well, I don’t know the good book that well but I seem to recall something about man joining with woman.”
1st engineer: nodding, “that’s right”, like this should be obvious to me.
That’s right, moron. you don’t know the “good book” that well so shut the fuck up.
I can also hear you telling the other who were in the other room what happened. “well the subject of lesbians came up and Velma seems to think that it’s ok.”
I look right at him. “yes, I seem to be in the minority at this office. that’s ok.” It’s not a secret. I am not ashamed of it. You can say it to my face.
I can hear you, dumbass!
Someone please come and get me. I do not belong here. This wasn’t even my major! Do you hear me? Not my major!
So, to all my co-workers, who not one said a word of support to me, and who I have heard almost every one say something derogatory about gays, and with whose patronizing, woman-bashing, homophobic, derogatory jokes and comments I must put up with every day, a hearty “fuck you sideways, upside-down, and inside-out, with a 10 foot dildo, except you wouldn’t appreciate it.”
That is all.
).
