The flight was really truly delayed, so the ILs wanted to come straight over anyway because they were starving. My SIL changed from schlumpy clothes to nicer ones at my parents’.
However, before they arrived, I told my mom that I’d talked to several people about the general question (should the host be flexible on arrival time of guests flying in), and everyone agreed it is proper for the host to allow the guests time to get refreshed before coming over. So she admitted she was wrong on that.
I also got out of her that “pulling this stuff” refers in part to MIL wanting things her way, i.e., she wanted us to have a big wedding that my mom didn’t want to pay for. Nine years ago.
So now we’re back to mom being insane. Trust me, no one offended me by affirming that. This is after all the woman who found an old newspaper clipping with my picture and an article about me being a Merit Scholar, and commented, “Oh yeah, that’s when you were thin.” :eek: :mad:
I don’t know how old your mom is, but perhaps she’s old enough to remember the days when people dressed up to fly. Nowadays, the idea of “traveling clothes” and holiday clothes being the same is ludicrous.
And you haven’t gained more than ten pounds, if that, since then, right? At any rate, that is classic. Right up there with the parent who sees their kid off to a spelling bee/pageant/talent contest and says “Be sure to congratulate whoever wins.”
[QUOTE=Rilchiam]
I don’t know how old your mom is, but perhaps she’s old enough to remember the days when people dressed up to fly. Nowadays, the idea of “traveling clothes” and holiday clothes being the same is ludicrous./QUOTE]
Interesting point.
Hell, in two months, I’ll be 37 years old, and I still dress up to fly. (Though I sometimes wonder why, considering what passes for airline service these days. :rolleyes: ) I could curse airline deregulation, I suppose, but maybe I shouldn’t because otherwise, I might very well not be able to afford to fly. Mind you, I can barely afford to do so now!
“Hey, mom, I’m really sorry, but I can’t get everyone over to your place until later. I screwed up the plans, and can’t get it straightened out until about four. I’m sorry.”
Just for the record, I strongly disagree about making up excuses for being late. The earlier you learn to stand up to a controlling mother, the better. Do it politely and lovingly, but firmly and with the truth.
Is your MIL the type of person who always needs to make some little adjustment to the group’s plans to accomodate her? To me it sounds like your mom already has an issue with her doing this and she sees this as one more instance. Does your mom or your family often make plans and then have to change or modify them to accomodate MIL?
Sometimes an instance seems idiotic when you look at it by itself, but you have to see the relationship as a whole to get why your mom is upset. She may feel like her plans or wishes are ever good enough, or that she is routinely made to bend to MIL’s wants. Or, she may just be blowing up over nothing, or harboring a 9 year grudge. But since she was willing to accept that she was wrong about the request this time, and you say she is usually not like this, it sounds to me like she was resentful of MIL for some reason before this even happend and she reacted to it because of that.
