Women are better at guilt than us.
Nitpick: oenophiles.
Hmmm. A quick search brought me to the company’s website and under Host a Party it says:
Nothing about the host buying the wine. So I don’t know if they try and sneak that in or you friend is a little confused about how this is supposed to work.
I get the liquor law implications of the rep providing free wine, purchasing the wine, etc.
But, it seems to me, that’s all the more reason for the rep to be springing for the cheese and crackers.
It’s still a hinky business model to me. There are still a couple of outcomes we have not considered, I think. 1. Perhaps there is a gift coming to the hostess, perhaps a case of wine delivered a couple of weeks after the event, to insure no complications with liquor law. 2. It’s always possible that she just needed someone to finance the first, so she could afford to spring for the cheese and crackers, at all future events?
If neither of those are the case, I’d have some questions as well.
Good friends are hard to find, they’re worth absorbing some weird or selfish request that the requestor may not have fully considered due to excitement or whatever.
You do that once. If it happens again, you politely but firmly invent a scheduling conflict as many times as necessary, or suggest that you wouldn’t dream of being so selfish as to deny someone else the chance at hosting.
At some point she’ll either leave off, or she’ll ask outright why you’re dodging it. Only at that point do you say you find it a bit of an imposition and a rather lopsided benefit. Then you will learn one of two valuable pieces of information… that the truly is a good friend who understands your needs, or she’s a bit selfish and exploitive.
But yeah, do it one time. Give her one freebie, then practice avoidance, and don’t address it directly unless she asks why you’re avoiding.
I got there, too but there seems to be more than one multi-level wine marketing “opportunity”.
Sadly, the word “scam” shows up rather early in google results…
smaje1, I really do wish your friend the best, and that your friendship outlasts this adventure.
Oh, wonderful. I love multi-level marketing. It’s a great way for false friends to reveal themselves much earlier than they otherwise might have. Earlier is better.
According to the video from my friend’s website (which I won’t link here, sorry), the host definitely pays for the wine.
I still think my friend should be providing the cheese and snacks! She did give me a very specific list of what to purchase (I suppose things that pair well with the wines I’ll be getting) and even said she’d run out and purchase the items herself (but that I would have to pay her back for what she spent). But she also said that I did not have any obligation to stick to that specific list.
It’s funny – I did a google search on the parents company + “scam” and got a lot of hits – but the hits were all about how the business itself wasn’t a scam for people who wanted to run the business. None of the articles intimated that the host or guests were getting scammed.
And yes, the wine is not schmancy fancy. It’s probably a little better than 2-buck Chuck, but I am no oenophile (new word of the day!). I just like something that goes down smooth and gets me a little buzzy. 
Funny story – last night I ran into a mutual friend of ours, and he asked me if I was hosting a party. I said yes, and he asked me for more details. I was very blatant and upfront – the host pays all costs, invites friends, it’s all about selling more wine – and he thought it was the bee’s knees. He said he and his girlfriend can’t wait to host one, because the idea of having a wine-tasting in the home was really cool, and their friends would be impressed. Now, keep in mind these friends are 20-something Seattle grunger-hippies, so hell yeah, they’re gonna be impressed! And they’ll probably love buying $6 wine. So, yay for them.
I’ll be hanging out with my wine friend next week, so we’ll certainly talk about her current business enterprise. I’ll mention my reservations, we’ll chat, we’ll be open and honest, as good friends can be. I’ll see how things go.
I suppose, but I don’t think it’s with bad intentions, like she thinks her friend is a sucker. I think she thinks the OP is doing her a favor because she has the money to do so. And if all the OP’s friends know what they’re getting into- a party where they’re going to be expected to make a purchase- and are comfortable with that it sounds like everyone is doing the friend a favor. I’m reminded of fundraisers that parents bring to work. I don’t buy an overpriced bread mix because I really gotta have one, I do it because I like my co-worker, the kids are cute, and I can afford it. And then I have a bread mix, too.
Oh, I just saw smaje’s response, and I think bringing it up to your friend is a good idea, good for you. Honesty is always good- though you might leave out all the research! 
Sorry to double post, but I’m looking at these tips for hosting and it does sheem to imply that the host supplies the cheese. However, this company provides benefits for hosting, like a free bottle of wine and some sort of gifty crap. And the option to buy wine glasses at half price- $25 for 4 rather than $50. So, rather negligible benefits.
Sorry, this wouldn’t sit right with me. I would feel used.
At least it’s wine, so people will be too hammered to realize what a shitty deal it is. 
As everyone has pointed out, you’re getting ripped off. I understand that you’re good friends and that you’ll happily put up the cash and effort for her this once to show your support, but like someone else said you really should talk to her about how she plans on expanding her customer base. She probably has a few close friends like you who are willing to help her out in this way, but that’s just a few parties. She’ll have to branch out quickly to people she doesn’t know well (or even strangers) pretty soon, once your circle of friends are tapped out. The usual way to handle this is to give away product - someone will happily throw a party if there’s something in it for them. But a stranger will NOT shell out $100 to help out a salesperson they don’t even know without something worthwhile in return.
On a side note, there are three things that strike me about these types of parties. First, they seem like the epitome of tackiness and bad taste, yet seem to never go away. Second, the market they service is virtually ALL women. I’m not sure if I can say this without sounding like a misogynistic pig, but is there some evolutionary reason that women fall for this type of thing? If a man tried to host one of these parties with his guy friends, they’d quickly explain in clear terms how dickish he was being. And thirdly, although these parties are common enough, I have NEVER met anyone with a pleasant story about attending one. It’s like everyone hates them, but no one has ever learned to turn down an invitation.
In addition to all the other problems, wine is so heavy to ship. I don’t see a point in getting cheap wine delivered to your house. And shipping is some unstated extra cost, it’s not included.
I can’t figure out why anyone would want to do these MLM schemes. It combines so many things I hate: asking for favors, wasting money, pressuring people to buy things, disregarding common sense…
Women are very practical; the parties combine hanging with your friends and shopping; chocolate and peanut butter, without sore feet.
Most often the goods are inexpensive OR good quality. (I still have a nightshirt I bought over ten years ago.) You spend an evening with a mixture of friends. acquaintances, and new people, look at some pretty stuff, buy a few things, and get some Christmas shopping done.
It’s a throwback to the days when a respected man wouldn’t be comfortable with the idea of his wife earning money working out in public with every Tom, Dick and Harry around. If a proper woman wanted a little business hobby, a home based, domesticically focused, enterprise where most of her contact is with female customers the family already knows, could earn her in pocket change (or, ideally, all that makeup and kitchenware she is flogging) while not changing the household dynamics with real earnings. It’s something a housewife could do to feel economcially productive without being as threatening as a real job.
Men do it, too. It’s called “entertaining the client,” and they make a lot more money (and have a better time) when they do it. Less snarkily, there are plenty of MLMs aimed at men- remember all those vitamin signs? Ever met a young man working as a Cutco salesman? But male-focused MLMs tend to ply the sterotypical “dynamic salesman roaming America to make it big” stereotype, which is equally ridiculous.
Nah, lots of places ship wine for free/a reasonable fee. I buy wine in the $10-$15/bottle range all the time, and get free shipping if I meet a minimum order (usually 4 or 6 bottles, depending on price.) And these are high quality, highly rated wines, not schlock.
But this place does not have free shipping, nor does it say how much shipping costs, so that leads me to believe it’s probably not cheap.
I believe you that you’ve found places where it’s reasonable, but I’ve looked around at some shops and it was always expensive enough to make it not worth it. I just assume this wine isn’t worth the money anyway since it’s obviously not geared toward wine connoisseurs who are likely to know the difference, and the business seems sketchy.
But I buy Franzia so what do I know? 
The way you worded your post made me read it like you were making a general statement, not about this specific wine store. So apologies if I misunderstood you.
I get a fair bit of wine from Wines 'til Sold Out, and part of it is it’s so damn cheap. I can’t go up there looking for a specific wine, but I do watch for highly-rated wines at reasonable prices, and along with the free shipping, I’ve been REALLY happy. I’ve bought at least a few $12 wines that drink like $40 wines, and rarely have been disappointed.
This is interesting. If it’s played right, and your friend is a dynamic and enjoyable wine tasting ‘expert’ these parties would be fun just as a party. As long as the wine sale idea doesn’t ruin the fun by being high pressure, it’s nothing more than a different kind of party. The host isn’t being ‘screwed’ by providing food and drink for his own party.
Unlike tupperware or candles, wine and cheese alone is a good enough reason to have a party.
I have an alternate solution. Find a woman that hosts those “fun parties” (yeah, you know what I’m talking about!) and schedule her to make an appearance at your party. Its been my experience that wine and dildos make very good ice breakers when paired together. Plus the horrified look on your friend’s face will be priceless.