My daughter’s school is hosting a group of 15-17 year old students from New Delhi, and we’re taking in one of the girls for 5 days. I admit complete, total and whole ignorance of Indian culture. While I think visitors should expect to adapt to the customs of the place visited–and I’d assume that a high school student with the means to travel to Mexico for several days (and from a school that would organize that sort of thing) would have a certain degree of worldliness–we do want to avoid anything that might be embarrassing or uncomfortable for the kid.
In general, should I assume any sort of dietary restrictions? Likely to be vegetarian or beefless? If so, would she be put off in the company of meat-eaters like in a restaurant setting?
We don’t have a bidet in the house, will she find wiping offputting? Will my lefthandedness worsen the offputtedness?
What would be an appropriate gift to send home to her family? Some kind of craft or souvenir or some kind of Mexican food product they may or may not enjoy, like mole/achiote/typical candies?
What about alcoholic beverages? Do Hindi drink? How aggressive is India customs, for example if a minor brings back a bottle of tequila? If not allowed, would it just be confiscated or would there be criminal penalties?
Do Indian families keep dogs as pets? We have two.
Any other information would be greatly appreciated!
I don’t know the answers to most of your questions, honestly, but I’ll chime in with a gift idea: Mexican or Native American goods. No experience with people from India particularly, but whenever we’ve hosted foreign students, they were always really interested to get something like a Mexican blanket or a dreamcatcher or a turquoise necklace. They took them to be very exotic and interesting, and provided good conversation items back home. Something that lasts is welcome. Usually if they want food they buy some here, but when I went over myself (to Germany in this case) I did bring a few things. In particular, Oreos (not available there at the time) and anything with chocolate chips. For some reason, the Germans were nuts about chocolate chips. My mom took to baking a batch of chocolate chip muffins every day when the Germans were in town.
I wouldn’t worry too much. Part of the experience for any exchange is the student adapting to a different culture. Be flexible, willing to listen, and helpful, and that’s the biggest thing. Realize that little things can be hard to communicate about so be open to do things like show, rather than tell, the student the food you’re offering (there are so many words for different foods!) or how to use the bathroom fixtures.
Also - will you be in communication beforehand? Usually we got a letter or something and people would say if they were vegetarian or if they had special requests/needs of some kind. I would expect at least the basics, like dietary restrictions, to be covered specifically by the people running the exchange.
First of all, do you know that she’s Hindu? India is a very diverse country and there is always a possibility that she could be Muslim or Christian. Is there any way to find out dietary restrictions prior to her visit? Not all Hindus follow the same dietary restrictions. There isn’t an across the board “this is what Hindus should and shouldn’t eat” rule. (Except for no beef.) Plenty of Hindus will eat chicken or pork or fish. I think it is highly unlikely that she would be offended to be around meat eaters.
If she is a vegetarian, she probably won’t eat eggs, as Hindus consider them to be meat.
She may find wiping off-putting. That’s probably a personal thing. I’ve found that in fancy places in India (like an upscale mall or restaurant), you’ll have an option of a bidet or toilet paper. Just to be safe, you may want to do what most Indians do in their own houses (well, I bet wealthy people have bidets, but I sure didn’t in India) and that’s to have a bucket and a cup with a spout to go with it in the bathroom. A plastic measuring cup is fine.
AFAIK, there isn’t anything inherently bad about drinking in Hinduism, but IME Indians don’t drink all that much in general, and women REALLY don’t drink very often. (My girlfriends in India once had a conversation about how one day they’d like to try alcohol. They were all in their early 20s and had masters degrees - grad school in India is clearly not like it is in the US!) I’m not sure how Indian customs would deal with that, but it might embarrass her to carry alcohol around. See what she says about her male relatives enjoyment of alcohol before offering tequila.
Dogs should be fine, unless she, you know, doesn’t like dogs, I guess.
Um…what else? She’ll probably want to take her shoes off inside. Jewelry makes a good gift, Indian women are big on jewelry.
FTR, I’m not Indian, and I’ve never been to New Delhi. I did a summer internship for two and a half months in a totally different part of India (Hyderabad) last year, but my coworkers were from all over the country and I feel like I got a sort of crash course in Indian in general, as they liked to bemoan the food/culture/language of Hyderabad and tell me about why their region was better, and here’s why.
From my travels in India, I’d say Kyla’s suggestions are good ones. Since beef and pork are both potentially offensive, I’d stick to chicken or fish with a veggie option until you know what’s up. A bucket and a measuring cup would probably be appreciated in the bathroom.
Indan culture is extremely diverse, and even Indians often don’t know the customs and traditions of other Indians.
Yes, I would assume she is from an elite private school in New Delhi to be able to afford this trip, and therefore would potentially have more of an exposure to other customs and peoples than the average Indian high school student.
It’s always safest to assume vegetarian, and then branch out from there. See, here’s the thing about India - many are vegetarian, but many are also non-vegetarian. And with a population of 1 billion, there are lots of each. So it’s impossible to know where she is on the spectrum. If you won’t be able to determine this information before she gets to your place, let the first meal be vegetarian. Then you can ask her, and decide from there.
Some vegetarians are fine with non-veg being served at the same table, some aren’t. Some eat eggs, some don’t. Some eat only chicken, some eat beef. Etc.
Most Indians love spicy food. Mexican food suits the Indian palate well.
Bidets are rare in India. Most Indians use a mug of water. More affluent Indians use toilet paper. So if you have just toilet paper, that should be fine. However, if you kept a plastic mug under the sink or somewhere visible that would be great.
Sweets are traditionally gifted, and very well received. Crafts and souvenirs native and unique to Mexico will be especially well received. The value of the item is not important; the thoughtfulness is. If she has siblings, nothing would make them more excited than to each receive something specifically sent for them, as well as the parents.
Gifting alcohol to a minor is a definite no-no.
Hindi is the language. Hindu is the religion. Hindus are the people who follow the religion. Not all Indians are Hindus. Yes, Indians (and Hindus) drink. Muslims usually don’t (at least their religion doesn’t permit them to). She could be either, or none.
There wouldn’t be any criminal penalties, it just wouldn’t be appropriate and wouldn’t be well received by the family (especially if it’s a traditional family).
Yes. I hope she’s a dog person. If so, she’s going to enjoy meeting Mexican dogs. Really. One of the eye-opening things about going abroad (especially if it’s her first time), is to come back and tell your family, “they’re just like us, a bit different, but just like us! and they have dogs, just like our dogs!”. And that’s an amazing thought for someone who’s never left their country before.
When she first comes into your house, she will probably insist on removing footwear. Feel free to tell her it’s OK if she doesn’t, but if she insists, let her remove her shoes by the door.
Show her around the house, and explain stuff to her. Light switches are UP/OFF DOWN/ON in India, I’m not sure about Mexico. In particular, explain to her everything in the bathroom. How the shower works, hot, cold, taps, flush, everything. She might be too shy to ask, and you’ll be amazed at how different these little things are in different countries.
Ask lots of questions, and give her lots of answers. She’s going to be very curious about everything, and you may not realize that what’s totally normal for you might be totally new to her.
Make her feel welcome, and treat her like family. Mexican culture is similar to Indian culture in many ways, and I felt quite at home when I visited Mexico a couple years ago.
Hope that answers some of your questions. Feel free to ask more.
Many thanks for the answers. Actually the only information we got was that we will be receiving Hindu visitors, but now it occurs to me that the term “Hindu” is used loosely here to refer to people from India and not the religion specifically.
The guidance on vegetarian vs nonveg helps a lot. The first exchange will be Welcome to your home in Mexico, Are you hungry, and What would you like to eat? I’m afraid that at some point my daughter will try some scatalogical humor to get to the bottom of the wiping issue.
The beef thing isn’t an across-the-board rule either. The slaughter of cattle for beef is banned in several states, but there are lots of places where beef is practically a staple (mostly in the northeast). She’s almost certainly seen people eating beef, and you’re unlikely to offend her by doing it yourself.
xash’s “assume she’s a vegetarian” advice is probably good, though.
Only about 20% of Indian adults consume alcohol, and yes, the vast majority of these are men.