Goatys atract the chicks? News to me. I, unlike cinamon girl have worn a goaty because my wife finds it sexy.
Or so she says, hmmm.
I find I look almost 40 if I shave it. Dang, the womans tryiung to cut into my action.
Many times have I heard the saying about arguing with an idiot, and yet here I go again.
It’s so clear that I’m NOT a bad boy that I wouldn’t date a woman who thought I was one. Even if I was in better shape.
Beyond all the rest of this drivel, this sentence confuses me. How do you have or not have business wearing a goatee? What do you have to do to earn the right to wear one? I’ve had this for about five years, it’s evolved a number of times, and only recently did I finally get it to a shape where I think it looks good. Whatever rights I apparently need to wear a goatee, I fucking earned it. It is a fuzzy badge of pride, sitting majestically around my mouth and on my chin! (That’s another reason I have one, I don’t have much of a chin. :p) The fact that you can’t get a date - probably because YOU SOUND LIKE A WHINY ASSHOLE - is not my problem, nor is it the problem of goatees or the people who wear them, or the women who love them.
Yeah, that’s correct. However, I don’t have a goatee because it hides the fact that I’m a nice guy and a dork, I have it because I think it looks good.
Face the facts, pal: you’re jealous. Not of me, to be sure, but you sound crazily jealous. Quit projecting. Not everybody is out to get you- because they haven’t yet had the chance to meet and dislike you.
Marley,
Come on, I wear a goaty BECAUSE I am a badass, and a chick magnet.
Or
I wear it because my wife likes it.
And it hides that scar on my chin.
Naw
I wear it because I have the worlds largest testicles.
No really.
Cinamon girl, I know you don’t have a goaty, I meant to type “Cinamon girls husband”, but left it out.
That’s all well and good for you. 
We’ve all got our reasons.
You too, huh? Gotta love those goatees.
Granted, I grew mine after finding the hot Japanese chick, but she’s happy with it.
Wasn’t there another thread recently that declared that the goatee is this year’s mullet?
Who died and made you the Facial Hair Police?
Certainly If You Please, it sounds like you’re frustrated at other people becaust you are unsuccessful with women. Deep down, do you want to be a muscled, goateed badass who swaggers? You yourself admitted to trying it.
I’ve worn a goatee for years and I don’t plan on stopping anytime soon. Anyone on this board who has met me could certainly tell you I don’t project a “badass” attitude. And I’ve certainly never been told by anyone I’ve dated that they fell for my goatee.
This just made me laugh:
Wow, you sure have them “hot chicks” all figured out, dontcha, buddy? All attractive women find relationships only because they are attractive…forget their intelligence, sense of humor, or anything else they have going for them. I got news for you: You are the one with zero respect for women. This sentence right here is the exact reason you can’t get laid. Women smell your disdain for them a mile away and avoid you like the Plague. Good thing, too…leaves less competition for us goateed guys. 
Adam
Nah, it’s been running strong for about 4 years now.
[DEEP MANLY VOICE]I remember my goatee. I sure did look badass. I got tons of young hot chicks. One glance at my manly badass facial hair and they would mob me. Fortunately I had my well muscled chest and abs. Otherwise I never would have been able to fight them off. [/DEEP MANLY VOICE]
Actually my fiancee had me grow the goatee. She may have wanted my to trick her into something, but I doubt it. I personally enjoyed it, not because of the many young hot chicks it attracted :dubious: but because I finally looked my age, and not like a fifteen year old.
Posted by Certainly If You Please, and may I say that the tone of the rant does not mesh well with the name.
Is the point of this that you live in an area filled with hot sluts that are all about the sex, and you can’t get any? It kinda sounds like it.
Remember now the teachings of the Buddha: desire for the unattainable causes suffering.
Quoting Kenshin is much hotter than wearing a goatee. But probably only to chicks who dig anime, which is no doubt a subcategory of women quite separate from chicks who dig men trying to look badass!
When I played the facial hair game, hawt wimmins would always look down at my crotch and lick their lips.
Weird.
Dude. Why are you excoriating women for being shallow when you’re the one pissed off that all the hot girls are already taken? If hot chicks are so stupid and naive, why the fuck are you bitter about not being able to get one?
The moment you decide that women are nothing but a pack of insecure, shallow bitches and a drain on your wallet to boot is the moment you cease to be a nice guy and become a bitter, whining asshole. No wonder you can’t get laid. Grow up and get your priorities in order, son.
My husband often sports a goatee because he’s really tall and thin and has a long British face and generally looks like Jesus in a Rennaisance painting if he’s clean shaven or has a beard. It’s the one look my husband can pull off and not hear a chorus of, “Dude! You look like Jesus!” wherever he goes.
Of course, he also has thin skin, a cleft chin and a mole, but I’m sure the goatee has nothing to do with the fact that he slices himself open every single time he shaves.
Whether it bleeds or it wheezes, you just can’t beat a baby faced Jesus.
Hey, we all have a cross to bear.
NEVER cross a bear!
Wow - this was quite the rant to wake up to. I’m all a-twitter with excitement over the premise - I think the OP might really have something here. :rolleyes:
Congratulations, you’ve discovered that women are shallow. Have any other great breakthroughs you’d like to share? The wheel perhaps? Made any progress in your fire research?
Remind me, guys still go for girls with huge tits, right? I know I do, but I don’t really keep up on the trends. So what exactly is the point here? The pretty people are always going to be a bunch of shallow, vacuous twits that still manage to make it into the alpha class.
Actually, the lean abs and the muscled torso do help with the having of the sex. I don’t know about bullshittin’, smart ass talking, or goatees, but then I’m not very young.
If it makes you feel better, my husband shaved his off yesterday. Of course, I immediately saw through his posing as a cool guy act and divorced him. Imagine! Fooling me for the whole six years we’ve been together! What a shallow twit I am!
Well, no I didn’t, actually.
And I am a hot Japanese chick.