Hot Pussies (catis in heat, that is!!!)

Factual Questions
1

Oh Great Know-It-All,

I have a horrible problem…

I live in a so-called “Asia-Pacific tropical paradise” commonly referred to as East Timor. East Timor lacks many things that one would think requisite to become a paradise, namely electricity, a decent economy, a low crime rate, and most importantly and the reason for this question…a veterinarian!!!

You see, my wife got this brilliant idea about 6-9 months ago to get a cute little ball of fur kitten. Well, it is now an annoying big ball of fur! When we assumed possession of the little rat, it was petrified of it’s new big home, missed it’s mother, and worst of all, was apparently not yet weaned! So, I had to carress the scared little rat ALOT to calm it down, and then dip the tip of my finger into some milk and rub it on the rats mouth to teach it to “drink” the milk by licking the finger, eventually, she learned to use a baby bottle, and later still she learned to eat solid, but soft meats.

Now, she seems to think that I am her mother or something, and has this annoying tendency to follow me everywhere I go! And she likes to walk in between my legs and under my feet, too, just to make it interesting. She also wants to be in almost constant physical contact with me…at all times!

Now my wife, who requested the rat in the first place, wants nothing to do with the annoying pest, leaving me to try and care for it, which can be very difficult, because she is a spoilled rotten little rat!

Anyway, owing to the lack of veterinarians, we have been unable to have the rat “fixed”, and it is apparently that time of year, because every tom-cat in town comes around our house all day and all night howling at the tops of their horny little lungs in an almost ghost-like crying sound. And that horny liitle slut of a cat of ours howls right back at them. How am I supposed to get any sleep!?!

Now here is the question…

What humane method is there to prevent that horny little slut from getting pregnant (considering the fact that are no veterinarians around here!)? And when I say humane, I mean something a little less drastic than me kicking the horny little slut as hard as I can and then jumping up and down on it’s fat little body until nothing but fur and blood and dirt are left on the ground beneath my feet!!! And then maybe I will start with them annoying tom-cats, too…

Oooops, sorry about that last little bit, but the cat is killing me!!!

You most valued assistance with this horribly distressing and most pressing matter is greatly appreciated,

You loyal fan,

:confused:

2

Wow! You live in East Timor! How is the political situation shaping up now?

On the OP: As far as I know, there is no solution to your problem. I had the same problem with my ickle cat. She ignored my wife and followed me round all the time howling asking to be f*cked hard. We had her ‘done’, but she still gets a bit horny from time to time - presenting her ass to me and so on (it’s all rather embarrassing) - but at least she doesn’t yowl any more.

There must be a vet somewhere in ET though? Or could you bring her to West Timor or Australia or something?

3

Well,

First, I suppose I should reply to that cat problem…

My cat does the same thing with her stinky little ass all up in my face every chance she gets. And the only response she gets is my boot! My wife hates how she is always trying to sleep with us, and usually between us.

Anyway, Australian Customs would never allow a Timorese animal to enter Australia without a minimum of six months in one of their re-education political prison camps and untold multitudes of tortuos vaccination shots!

And because Indonesia refuses to comply with the actions that they promised to conduct in response to the UNHCR murders in Atambua, West Timor is still a restricted area for UN personnel. And Merpati would never allow a cat on their airplane. They once tried to refuse passage to me even after accepting the money for the ticket from the UN saying that my official Visa and passport were both expired, even though they were both quite obviously still very good! It required the intervention from the UN Police to get them to accept me on the plane.

So, I guess it is either my pocket knife or my boot!

Now…as for the political situation in East Timor?

First of all, the president, Gusmao, is incredibly incompetent, and also too arrogant to accept any advice, so he screws up wven when advised to consider an alternative action. He is also a major hypocrite, in that as much as he openly decries corruption and nepotism, he secretly is as corrupt as Soeharto and Soekarno. Fortunately or maybe not, the Office of the President is nothing but a powerless figurehead. His election was rigged from the start, as early as one year prior, the head of the Transitional Administration constantly referred to Gusmao to the Timorese as “your first (or next) president!” Now, this in itself is not only a violation of UN policy, but most improper as the Timorese are basically followers and will do almost whatever they are told. Gusmao was also given his unlimited flights on UN aircraft to conduct his campaign, thus the UN openly ordained this criminal as the president. Further, out of the original four other contenders, three of them “suddenly decided” not to run, while only one person with no chance of winning was allowed to run against him.

Then there is the prime minister, who was never elected, in fact, he was basically self-appointed. He is also the head of the largest of the mafia type organised criminal familes in East Timor and has been stealing large amounts of money from the poeple to build fancy houses for himself and his family and even going so far as to give stolen “seed” money from contract bids to his brother to purchase construction equipment and then granting all construction contracts only to him.

Finally, most of the “ministers” are the traitors who abandoned East Timor when the Indonesion military unlawfully invaded this sovereign country with the express approval and blessings from the American traitor Ford.

All of this lead to a very unhappy population, with small anti-government riotting all-around the country, and of course 4 Dec 02 was very famous in Dili. We are expecting a very bloody civil war within the next few years if something does not change.

I hope that answered your question.

4

royjwood, I have taken the liberty of moving my hijack to another thread in a different forum so that the cat question can be dealt with in isolation. Apologies for the hijack, mods.

How about bribing some UN or Timorese medics to perform the op in an operating theater normally used for humans?

5

I do not trust any of the Timorese doctors that much, and none of the internationals would risk their “reputation”. I guess I do not blame them, though. But I really hate that howling / crying noise, it is horribly annoying.

6

Maybe you should just give her what she wants. Do you know of any tomcats with condoms? :wink:

7

I was tempted to just superglu it shut!!!

I think she may have done the deed already, so now I guess I have to look for a feline abortionist, any takers?

8

It would be the same operation as having her done, roywood. Just more complicated.

9

yes, but I still need someone to actually perform this er…umm…modification.

It would have been so much simpler to just not have a cat to begin with.

By the way…

Hollywood loves showing all of the really really bad megalomaniacal world dominist terrorists stroking their beloved cats…

do the FBI “profilers” consider owning cats a sign of potential serial killings?

10

From the tone of your post I would say get rid of the cat, you are obviously not a cat person. They take lots of care, especially when young. And BTW, if it were at all remotely possible for her to do so, you can be certain that she did procreate with any available male cats where you live, they just can’t resist that female cry as much as you hate it. :wink:

11

I still need to know how to fix this cat…does Time Life have a do it yourself veterinary medicine book?

12

Don’t try it yourself, you’ll just hurt the cat and make a real mess. From what I gather neutering a female requires that you actually make an incision and use some kind of anasthetic. There must be some kind of animal shelter, high-end pet store, or somewhere you can go to have it done. Have you tried just looking for someone in the phone book?

13

Bongmaster, he’s in East Timor!

14

East Timor is not America, we do not have “phone books”, most people use mobile phones from Telstra with no contract, just per-paid service. The land-line service is very limited, too.

There is no such thing as an animal shelter or even a low-end pet store.

But, oh, btw, I can not resist the sound a woman in heat, either, so I can completely undertand, however, I do not want my daughter becoming a slut just because she or the guys are horny, so why would I let my cat be known as the local tramp?

I was hoping moer for some kind of home ermedy and not actually planning on cutting her open. Although I am trained in a wide variety of emergency medical procedures, to include child-birth, I was never trained as a veterinary surgeon.

Oh, to be back in the GREAT REPUBLIC OF TEXAS!

15

You can shorten her cycle by, umm… servicing her.

Cats don’t ovulate until after coitus. Once she ovulates she will stop with the caterwauling. So if you preform the deed, she’ll ovulate (and probably look at you in a whole new light!).

A thermometer purchased for this purpose works fine. Repeat 10-15 minutes for an hour and then again 12 hours later. This is the method breeders use.

16

Well, I guess I asked for it, but whew, I do not think that I want her looking to me in that whole new light…ew…yuk!

But seriously, thanks for the input. I did not realize that she did not ovulate until after coitus.

I think I will just have to resign myself to having a bunch of noisy greedy little kittens running around the house pretty soon.

17

Well, I found this, its rather lengthy, but on page 9 it indicates that there is a project in place called Ausaids Eastern Islands Veterinary Service Project base in Dili with an Animal Health Advisor named Steven Dunn and a Vet by the name of Dr. H. Dew’s Wayudari. Maybe they can help? Looks like they work with goats but maybe they call steer you in the right direction.

http://www.ausaid.gov.au/publications/focus/focuspdfs/4969-25.pdf

18

Servicing her really isn’t that big a deal. I took in three kits and then lost my job. Within weeks two of the three went into heat. Out of desperation I searched the net and found easy instructions. I used a moistened q-tip and it was done within seconds. No more howling!
I dont have the link but searching for q-tip cat and heat will probably bring you to it.
Maybe your wife will do the deed?
If your cat is pregnant, you do realize that there will be many more problems ahead…?

I do understand your frustration. I was insane after about three nights of howling. But really, is there nobody around that would be willing to help you out? If not a vet, anyone handy with a cotton swab?

19

Howdy Y’all,

I just got back to the office after being out in the regions for a few days, so I apologise for my tardiness.

Anyway, I just wanted to thank MissSwish and Rushgeekgirl for your input.

My wife was the one who originally wanted the cat in the first place, but since she became pregnant, she has despised the cat…apparently it has something to do with a strange local superstition about cats (and monkeys) somehow endangering the health of the fetuses? Nonetheless, she will not go anywhere near the cat and is sometimes down right spiteful to the little pain the arse!

Now that the cat is probably pregnant (she has calmed down, anyway), we can only prepare for the hell that awaits us. Dante obviously knew nothing of cats, or he would have included them as one of his levels of hell!

But thanks to all!!!

20

I’m not exactly sure what this superstition entails, but there is some truth to the fact that cats can cause problems with pregnancies. Namely, cats (and rabbits, I believe) can carry toxoplasmosis, which doesn’t normally hurt adults but can have severe consequences for developing fetuses. This doesn’t mean you have to get rid of the cat or that your wife cannot interact with the cat, it simply means she should not be in any way involved with cleaning the litterbox. Toxoplasmosis is passed through fecal contact. She should also avoid gardening at this time, as stray/feral/outside cats could be (and probably are) using your yard as a litter box and she could be exposed this way as well.

Also, they’re right about the, um, servicing thing–cats are induced ovulators and once they’ve had at it, the heat cycle ends. However, someone said you should “Repeat 10-15 minutes for an hour and then again 12 hours later.” I wanted to clarify that you should repeat every ten to fifteen minutes for an hour, then again twelve hours later. The actual “act” should only be a couple seconds. Tomcats are not notoriously sensitive lovers :wink: .

peace,
~mixie