Bide thy thyme, for thyme is running short…
I vote for the wife being dishonest about her shopping (or shoplifting) habits.
Celebrities get free stuff, mostly because the stores/marketers love the free publicity that comes from someone famous being snapped by the papparazzi carrying/wearing/drinking/eating their product. The fact that they’re hot is secondary… it’s all about the fact that they’re famous and that their photos are being oogled by millions of people each day.
On the other hand, when someone like Lindsay Lohan has trouble getting her purchases comped every once in a while, I’d have to assume that the hot wife is either Angelina Jolie or she’s a nobody with an honesty issue.
Hell, even when I was young, skinny, hot and surrounded by even younger, skinnier and hotter friends, the freebies were few and far between. Most of the time it was drinks and/or cover at a nightclub, but I’ll have to assume that Mrs McHotterson probably isn’t doing the circuit with her cute baby girls in tow… clothing, fast food and groceries definitely weren’t part of the usual Hot Girl Perks I got, that’s for sure.
Plus a double-wide stroller is an amazing place to stuff shoplifted items!
I heard this letter read on the Ethicist’s podcast and my first thought was klepto, too. Although, maybe she’s having an affair and is using the freebie excuse to explain away gifts. There’s no way people are giving her that much stuff for free.
We better get a toolbox with all of these tools lying around: the Screwdriver, the Hammer, the Socket Wrench and the Pliers. My vote is secret charge account, fashionistakleptoflirt, or beauty beggar…in that order.
I know a guy who used to brag about how his g/f would go out to concerts with her female friends and come back with a couple shirts, had dinner, various other souvenirs, and that people just gave them to her because she was hot.
He eventually met who was buying :smack:
This thread would be so much better if it were about ‘Hot wife giving freebies’.
Incompatible with life.
Try “People with two X chromosomes.”
All three of these popped into my mind when I read that column. Chucklehead husband “oh my wife is just so hot that people fall over themselves to shower her with free gifts everywhere she goes and I just don’t know what to do about it dear me!” I thought “get a brain, moron.”
I can totally see a scenario where every so often, this paragon of hottitude gets stuff shoved into her hot little hot hands by panting drooling wannabe Lotharios, but as much as he implied? No.
I agree; she’s either a klepto or a shopaholic. Especially since, according to him:
Even if she were so hot that shopkeepers everywhere were strafing her with merchandise, presumably, they would want her to *know *who gave her the freebies, so that she might be motivated to repay them in kind. I’m willing to bet that no one in the world has ever thought, “My god, she’s stunning! I think I’ll slip this sweater into her bag to brighten her day, but she must never know who did it!”
And how would that even happen? Does the cashier at the GAP see her come in, and send floor people on reconnaisance to ascertain her sizes and tastes and grab a few things that fit the bill to hide behind the register for her, so that if she doesn’t happen to buy that item, into the bag it goes?
Extra donut in the bag? Sure. Extra clothes, or groceries? I’m not buying it.
I can just see him telling other people about this, too - as they look at each other, wondering who’s going to be the one to tell him.
If she’s that inattentive to her shopping bags, then sometimes she would be coming home with LESS stuff than she bought, 'cause people would be swiping stuff out of them.
She’s lying.
But she’s still hot, right?
Yeah, which probably explains why her husband is being so willfully ignorant about the huge gaps in her story.
I’m going to guess the husband isn’t much of a prize, and is probably still so dumbfounded at the fact that he managed to land such a hottie that he isn’t willing to acknowledge he’s probably getting played. It’s amazing how much crap some men are willing to put up with just so they can flaunt a hot GF/wife/mistress.
Never a truer word spoken in my opinion…
As for the OP, I’m fairly certain she’s either a thief or a cheat.
Maybe neither is she! 
Actually, the possession of only a single X chromosome is the only type of true monosomy that is compatible with life - Turner Syndrome.
And this woman is clearly lying. How on earth would anyone get groceries for free? There is no way I can possibly imagine that happening without the woman noticing. Actually, there is no way I can possibly imagine that happening at all.
“They stuffed the butterball turkey up there, I swear to god! I had no idea!”
“Honey, are you sure? The turkey and the lube, I can buy…but the baguette, too?”
Totally! I enjoy reading Randy Cohen. I even asked him a question that was published (although, I think he may have had it wrong). I think he did what he was supposed to do; answer the ethical question: is it wrong for her to accept these things. He wasn’t asked “Is my hot wife a secret klepto? Am I naive to think she’s getting freebies because she’s hot?”
I think the wife is pulling something. I mean, if she came home with the occasional perfume sample or miniature jar of jam or something, that’s one thing. But coming home with free clothes? That’s a totally different thing.
I’m looking forward to the update.