No not that!!
At least the original George Hayduke–an ex-Green Beret and medic in Edward Abbey’s novel The Monkey Wrench Gang–had a cause
I’m going to start doing this! My usual prank is to leave $20 and a note thanking hotel staff on my first night. This often boomerangs, however, resulting in better service and pleasant smiles from the staff.
As long as all you did was just handling it. But if, for instance, your neighbor had smashed it up with a hammer, he could have produced some uranium dust, and ended up inhaling a little of it. And that would have been very bad.
Oh, he never got close enough to do anything to it, thank Og.
No less than you deserve, you reprobate!
The best prank I ever played (so it’s become my standard move)… and I feel like I should preface this by pointing out that this was back in the 80’s so concern about a pandemic was yet to be on anyone’s radar.
Oh, my editor says I should also have a disclaimer that even though #metoo was yet to be a hashtag, the attitudes of all involved were in keeping with those values, and at NO time did any women feel threatened or “creeped out”. And any age or racial differences were not exploited as any kind of game.
Now, this started at a non-descript roadside hotel (full disclosure, the Toledo/Maumee Holiday Inn, which had become my default “first night of an east coast road trip”). BUT it has since been applied with an equal entertainment factor in many different lodgings: The Dolphin & Swan, a Michael Graves-designed hotel at DisneyWorld; The Jared Coffin House on Nantucket Island; and the Neptune Inn, which at the time was a cheap, humble beachside hotel in Ft. Myers Beach.
First, you have to set this up when you check in. Wait until you’re sure you’ll be checked in by a manager, if not The manager (an accomplice might be needed to distract all other front desk workers). Act completely normal, put the room on a credit card that won’t attract any attention… (Speaking of which, your clothing will need to be vetted by someone with taste and a feel for what a traveler would be wearing in that climate, at that time of year).
Now, this is only to be tried after you’ve successfully managed the basics, but you’ll work your way up to leaning in and sotto voce asking the manager about the precise location of the closest fire extinguisher.
(Until you’ve practiced enough, follow the same routine but ask about the closest icemaker.)
Now, no matter what the answer is, stare intensely as you, without breaking eye contact, flip a twenty dollar bill onto the counter. (Practice this at home until it’s smooth and flawless).
You want him (or her…) to remember that you asked, and that this was very important to you. You’re already keeping him a little off balance.
In fact, as you become more proficient, you’ll actually be bribing the cleaning staff to ask the manger why the guest in 202 wanted to know about the fire extinguisher.
Now, first thing as you enter your room (hopefully it is indeed 202, so I don’t have to come back here and ask a mod to edit the previous paragraph), call the concierge desk and leave a wake-up call for 5:59 am. Nonchalantly ask Natalie (you noticed her name before) if the manager mentioned the guest who asked about the fire extinguisher.
Now, you’ll want to sit in the lobby until the manager goes home. This can be any time between 5 and 11 pm, so bring a good book and a jigsaw puzzle. As he walks out, say hello and thank him for all his help, and you’re looking forward to asking him some questions but not tonight, it’s too late and he really does need to head home to his family but perhaps in the morning after he arrives… at what time?
Walk right behind him as he exits. Say you’re just “stepping out for a SMOKE…”, pull out a pipe and a large grill lighter that’ll shoot a large flame into the pipe. Look through the flames at him with an inscrutable grin and say you WILL see him again.
Settle your bill so you won’t need to check out in the morning. Cancel your wake up call, but set your alarm for 5:59. Sleep the sleep of the innocent.
In the morning, get out of the room before the time that the manager said he’d arrive for work. Leave generous tips for the cleaners.
Head for the stairwell, but make sure that you pass the location of the fire extinguisher. Take it out of its bracket, and leave it on the floor right underneath. Wipe all prints off it.
Walk out through the lobby, whistling a carefree tune (“Walking on Sunshine” has been used by many who’ve followed these instructions). Make sure you’re also chuckling to yourself (but loudly), and waving at each staffer in the lobby. Do some more over-tipping on your way out.
Now, just as the front doors automatically slide open, this is where you perform…
No prank.
Which will disappoint everyone, especially you, dear reader. But you’ll be heading into the bright morning sun, thinking of all the clean-up work that the staff won’t be doing that morning. And oh, yes, you’ll also be wondering: Did the manager check the fire extinguisher? And your room?
Will imagining his relief be almost as therapeutic as it is for him?
Our first night in St Martin, my gf writes a note to housekeeping telling them how happy we are to be back, along with any news from home she wants to share. We’ve stayed the same place every year except last year and many of the workers are people we recognize.
She also “over-tips” each day as a way of putting money into the local economy. Over the course of our stay we get impromptu flower arrangements made from plants growing on the grounds, notes with cool suggestions (one year an invite to a beach party that was 99% locals), heartfelt smiles, etc.
Another prank we do is to pretend that we have to clean the rooms. We go out of our way not to track in sand, we do our own dishes, etc.
Good one! That’ll show 'em!
Back in the day, me and my friends used to prank call people by calling them up and asking if John was there. If they told us we had the wrong number, we’d go, “then how do you go to the bathroom?” Much yucks.
Or the old favorite of calling up the bowling alley and asking them if they have 10 lb balls. 
Now here’s a prank. I’ve related this on the Board before.
One year right after Christmas back in high school, a friend and I thought up calling the local newspaper and putting an ad in the classifieds that said: “Don’t throw your Christmas tree away. I’ll buy it!” And gave a friend’s phone number. It was pure chance that we called the ad in on a Friday, meaning it ran all weekend before their offices reopened on Monday to cancel it. The lady who took our ad said she was dying with curiosity about what we were going to do with all those trees, and thinking fast I said: “Uh, I, uh, I’m going to resell them for firewood.” “Oh! That’s a great idea! I never would have thought of that.” We called the friend’s house ourselves posing as someone with a tree to sell, and his mother said there must have been some sort of mix-up at the paper and that their phone had been ringing nonstop all weekend. The friend kept absolutely silent about it at school the next week, waiting to see who would break and mention it. We never did, and he never brought it up. So, Steve, if you’re out there somewhere reading this right now, it was me and Robert (you know Robert who).
I did something similar a week or so ago at my neighborhood Buffalo Wild Wings. I popped in for a quick lunch before going to see the new Spider-Man movie. My server was essentially running the floor by herself, which is hell for any server during a lunch rush. I asked her about it, and she lamented that they were having trouble finding people who want to work, so she has to pick up the slack.
And she was running herself ragged, but I didn’t see a single table have to ask more than once for something.
My bill came to something like $8.92. I gave her two $1 with a $20 on bottom.
She hugged me. And said it was too much.
She earned it.
