This is my first pitting, so cut me some slack.
I think I just have to say that I’m utterly fucking disgusted at having been duped into seeing this movie. I was under the impression that this was going to be some sort of remake of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre… wrong. So wrong. I mean retina-clawingly wrong. This movie was so fucking ridiculous on so many levels that it was delivered from the previously unknown 73rd concentric circle of hell with a kiss and a hug from fucking Satan himself. Who the fuck told Rob Zombie he was a director? More importantly, what sorry-excuse for a llama-fucking executive believed that this movie could actually make money??? Who the fuck was under the impression that people would enjoy seeing pretty girls trying to saw a guy’s fucking scalp off with a straight razor!? That’s just a taste of the bile that this movie spews into your face at every opportunity. There’s just no words for a movie that tries to be funny, pornographic, and unbelievably violent. All at the same time. All for no good reason. Seriously, someone needs to send this hellspawn of a film back where it belongs. I pray that the images scorched into my eyes will come off when I eventually get laser eye surgery. It’s movies like this that should make our parents worry about future generations, not insignificant things like school shootings. If this movie makes more than $48 nationwide, our country, nay, our universe’s very existence is threatened. Spread the word. Boycotting this movie is the only way we will stand a chance. Tell your friends, neighbors, enemies, and favorite uncle’s mother’s twice-removed sister-in-law. In-law. Only by boycotting this movie and everything it stands for can humanity someday hope to reach for the stars. Cuz I’m pretty sure [Insert deity of choice] will just go ahead and start this whole experiment over if we support this movie in any way, shape, or form. Oh, and I saw it for free, so I’m not contributing to the demise of the universe. Are you?
Damn, that sounds pretty cool!
I am
SO
THERE!!!
Dude! Spoilers!
I can’t believe your review, I expect quality programing from the likes of a respected musician like Rob Zombie. And as we all know, musicians automatically make great actors/authors/directors.
Funny, pornographic, and unbelievably violent? Yep, definatly sounds like something I should watch. I mean, I don’t have much hopes for him making a good director, but at least it sounds like there’ll be enough gore and the like to keep one’s interest…
[sub]hehe…[/sub]
Alas, it will make money, if only because Zombie’s name is on it.
Why that means anything is one of the great mysteries of the Universe. After all this is the same guy who foisted lyrics like “Psyclone Jack/ Hallucinating Hack/ Thinks Donna Reed/ Eats dollar bills” on the alienated teens of the world.
I mean, it doesn’t even make sense.
Apparently it’s doing pretty well in the theatres.
Did the OP expect something tasteful? It’s a goddamn horror film. It’s SUPPOSED to be in bad taste.
Aw, go back to watching Steel Magnolias, ya big sissy!!!
A horror movie, he says. Not only that, a stupid horror movie.
I’m shocked, shocked I tell you.
It should have been called House of 1000 Cliches. It’s so bad that when I saw it some metalhead got up and walked out in the middle of it, flipping off the screen and cursing lound enough for everyone in the theather to hear him.
Well, you sold me.
I kind of wanted to see it before but now I’ll be going within the next 12 hours. See you in the Cafe!
I’m all for funny tasteless pornographic violence (five words: Peter Jackson’s first three films). But the general gist of reviews I’m getting is that Zombie’s effort is just incompetent at it.
Which means I’m almost certain to rent it when it becomes available!
Can you people honestly not tell that this is spam? C’mon, it’s blatantly obvious!
Do Not Feed The Spammer!
Its out? I had no idea!
<me jumps in car. vroom!>
It was called “The House of a 1000 Corpses.” What else would you expect from Rob Zombie? On my way in to “The Quiet American” on Friday night, I passed the theatre showing 1000 Corpses and asked one of my friends what it was. When they told me, I shook my head, rolled my eyes and went on my merry little way.
If I’da known Rob Zombie directed it, I woulda never gone to see it. And once I was there… it was like a train wreck. I had to see how bad it was really going to end up.
And how’d you end up with the conclusion that I was spamming?
Sorry for the double-post, but I was breezing and I didn’t see Keith Berry’s post. Well… yeah, it was in bad taste. But it was a step beyond bad taste. I wasn’t expecting an epic tale or anything like that, but for shit’s sake…
Ummmm let’s see. . . Rob Zombie aka the King of Music Campy Horror makes a movie and you are shocked at the campy horror of it all?
BTW, I’m gonna grab Zette and get to the theater!!! WHOO HOO!
How is this spam? Looks to me like the OP saw a movie that really disgusted him/her, and wanted to warn the rest of us.
Sounds like the OP felt the same way about House of 1000 Corpses that I felt about Hannibal. The only difference being that I actually expected better of Ridley Scott, while I would see Zombie’s effort (assuming I see it at all) with absolutely no expectations of directorial talent on Zombie’s part.
In fact, judging by Rob Zombie’s music, I would pretty much expect that any film he directed would wind up a train wreck, perhaps an unintentionally funny one.
And I do love black comedy… Peter Jackson’s early work is a fine example; very fun (though gross) movies. I just wouldn’t expect that sort of talent from Rob Zombie.