My wife is leaving for 9 days. How do I keep this place clean ? Maybe i should go stay in a hotel.
Heh. You’re probably joking, but if you can afford a hotel for 9 days, you can afford a good housekeeper to come once or twice.
Ha! If you are asking, maybe the hotel is the best plan for you.
Basic common sense will go a long way. Every night before you go to bed, look around in each room and figure out what is out of place, and then put it back in place.
A big trap to watch out for is the old “oh, but I’m going to use that tomorrow.” This is the path to danger. If you bring out an extra blanket to put on the couch while you are watching TV, and think to yourself “gee, why should I put that away? I’ll only have to get it out again tomorrow” you need to dismiss that thought. Just put it away. Tomorrow, starting from a clean and tidy room will make you more mentally prepared to keep it clean and tidy.
If keeping up with the dishes will be a big deal for you, consider using paper plates for 9 days. This sounds extreme, but some people need to do this.
Don’t go in rooms that you don’t want to clean. Seriously. Do you ever watch TV in the guest room just for a change of pace? Don’t even bother – keep the door shut, and you won’t accidentally forget about a crumpled up napkin, vacuuming up the crumbs from your chips, whatever.
Before she comes home, do these things:
- Go over kitchen and bathroom surfaces with a damp cloth and Windex or whatever cleaner you prefer. It doesn’t need to be perfect, just wiped down.
- The laundry basket should be empty.
- The sink and the dishwasher should be empty, or nearly empty.
- Vacuum carpet and sweep floors (all floors, whether you think they need it or not)
Man I hope you’re joking. :eek:
delphica’s response is excellent.
While I’m normally totally supportive of the “a cleaning lady is cheaper than a divorce” idea; in this specific circumstance, getting a cleaning lady to come in the day before Mrsimfloating returns is a really bad idea. If the house is “too clean”, she might think imfloating had a party/orgy while she was gone and HAD to clean the house.
Unless he’s really sure she doesn’t have a jealous or suspicious bone in her body, then it’s a great idea.
It’s not like it will get that dirty in 9 days. A bit cluttered maybe, but no serious mold or scum will grow, don’t worry about it.
A really nice thing to do right before she gets home would be to change the sheets and towels and give the bathroom a quick swipe. Nothing says welcome home like fresh towels!
If you have never cleaned house this is a perfect opportunity to start developing those skills. just don’t wait for day 9 to roll around.
Oh, for Og’s sake. Don’t throw crap on the floor. Wipe down the counters. Put shit away. If you spill it, wipe it up. Run the vacuum cleaner at least once every two days.
And make sure your wife comes home to flowers. Jeez.
Delphica’s list is good. If you do dishes every day, pick up after yourself, and do two loads of laundry (white and dark and save the reds for later - start the laundry three days before she gets home), the rest of the tasks on her list will take an hour.
Don’t hold off on the laundry though. When my mother went out of town my dad had to go buy new underwear because he wasn’t sure how to wash it. He will never live that down. And he now has 22 pairs of undies.
I mean seriously. The OP is kind of pathetic. Ever considered helping out while she is home? Then maybe it wouldn’t be such a shock to the system.
Ease up a little folks. Yes, it’s weird that imfloating has managed to reach an age to be married, and yet has never learned how to clean house, but let’s put the blame where it belongs, with his parents. He’s doing the right thing, asking for advice on a subject he needs help with. If he’d asked for advice on how to get his sister to come over and clean the house while his wife was gone, there would be some justification for the ire.
The part I’m confused about is the idea that one guy could make enough of a mess to require any cleaning after 9 days.
Wash the dishes after each meal. One knife, one fork, one plate, & one glass take about 45 seconds. Then let 'em air dry and use 'em again for the next meal. A pot or pan takes another minute tops.
Wash the clothes you’ve worn, unless you’ve got 20 day’s worth in your closet. Just dump 'em all in the washer & then dryer on the middle settings. One washing or drying at the wrong temp won’t hurt anything.
Don’t throw trash on the floor. Don’t barf on the carpet. Keep the annimals outside so they don’t barf on the carpet.
Mission accomplished.
Dusting, vacuuming, and windexing are tasks done every 60 days, not every 2.
This. I always tell my husband when I leave for a few days…I don’t really care if the house is a mess when I get back, but please, please have clean sheets on the bed. That’s all I ask.
I’m sorry, but no, not unless he got married at 18 and went straight from mommy’s house to wife’s. He’s an adult, and could’ve chosen to learn how to clean a house at any time in the intervening years since attaining adulthood, and has not. That lay squarely on his shoulders.
That any grown-up has to be told to wash dishes as they’re used, wipe countertops, clean-up spills and after a week, wash some laundry and change a bed and the bathroom towels is just pathetic.
This is pretty much my answer. If the OP is old enough to be married, he’s old enough to know how to do housework.
Don’t listen to him. 7 days between ministrations like this, max.
I’m probably like the most slovenly guy on the SDMBs,
But even for me - 9 days is nothing.
I just moved out of an apartment. It had probably been six months since the last proper cleaning. But I needed that security deposit, so I dedicated a whole day to a thorough cleaning.
It probably took me six hours - from “Oh God, I’d never let anyone see how messy I live” to “Got full security deposit back, no worries.”
My parents, God bless them, made a major mistake in my upbringing. They never made me clean aside from a half-hearted biannual “PICK UP YOUR ROOM!”. Great when you’re a kid, bad when you’re an adult with your own place that you need to keep presentable.
It literally took me two years. Two years of making my apartment progressively more filthy. Until the the apartment manager said - “Hey, you need to clean up a bit. And by a bit I mean a lot.” I had been afraid of cleaning - see, I didn’t know how to do it. The threat of losing my place made me learn quick. And surprise! It’s not that hard. I’m much better these days. Taught myself, still getting better. But it is much nicer to have a clean living space.
Just dive in. You’ve got to learn, and the only way to learn is to do.
Just one thing. Don’t be like Ed Crankshaft, and do your dusting with a leaf blower.