The Dope abides. I don’t know about you but I take comfort in that. It’s good knowin’ it’s out there. The Dope. Takin’ 'er easy for all us sinners.
Well, that’s, like, your opinion, man.
I am always slightly amused that there’s an expectation that the Dope is smarter/more tolerant/more accepting, etc. that the rest of the world and/or the internet. We’re all self-selected. There is no litmus test to join the board; I think most of us fancy ourselves pretty intelligent, but there’s absolutely no verification of this beyond our own decision to declare ourselves smart enough for this board.
I think there are some wonderfully interesting and smart people on the Dope, and many caring souls. But I don’t find this board particularly more enlightened or more accepting than the circles I float among. In fact, I’ve learned not to broach certain topics on this board because the responses tend to be pretty far from what I consider to be accepting and tolerant. But for every response like that, there’s usually a number of neutral ones, to ones I pretty much agree with, to ones I don’t agree with, but the post makes a strong argument that I can respect or even turns my thinking.
I can only think of three incidents or so when I felt I was treated unfairly by posters on this board, and it probably comes down to crossing swords on one of those topics that people have really strong views, me being in a particularly bad mood, or the other poster being a pompous ass. But I would wager that it’s better than a lot of other boards. I pretty much like posting and reading here.
Correct. Then you’d have to hope the other person had a sense of humor, or at least a sense of exaggeration, and did not immediate leap up to stand on his right to be offended. But hey, since you’ve already asserted your right to do exactly that, don’t let me stand in your way.
For me, that very short list includes things that unjustifiably harm or exploit children or animals, and things that are so demonstrably and provably false that to accord them respect wrongly implies they have any merit whatsoever. But we’re talking true extremes here: In the former category I place bestiality and pedophilia, and in the latter category I place things like Holocaust deniers and creationism. Because in the immortal words of Dilbert, “When did stupid become a point of view?”
Absolutely! And our lists may vary. But generally I can live in peace with the person who shows her ignorance.
I was one who spoke in opposition to you. How did I “shout you down”? Was my voice louder than yours? Was I given more space in which to post? Was I given special privileges?
No one can shout you down here and only a moderator or administrator can keep you from posting.
You have a right to your opinion, but you don’t have a right to your own “facts.” Take a look at the movies that are showing in theaters currently. How many list a female as the main star first? How many list a male first? I haven’t looked to see, but I know what the usual fair is. Movies predominately about women are in such shortage that there’s a special name for them – “chick flicks.” Yet there are usually several movies out that are predominately about men. That doesn’t look like the real world, Justin.
Practically as equal? Not close enough. We’ll let you know.
And if people don’t want to see them, then what?
I don’t agree that things are practically equal as they can get. But movies are a lousy example.
I agree with you that things are not as equal as they could get. But I do think that in general, in the US, things are about as equal as people want them to be. I don’t envision a time where every profession, for example, is populated equally between men and women, or for parenting and household responsibilities to be equally divided. “Traditional” gender roles are just too firmly based in evolutionary development of the sexes, and it just doesn’t make sense to me that we, as a society, will someday completely overthrow that yoke. (Please understand that I duly note and affirm that not all women want to raise children, and not all men want to have high-powered careers, etc. etc…I am speaking in generalites, here.)
Regarding the OP…I think that the SDMB is about as tolerant as any large, diverse group…which is to say, fairly tolerant as a group (because in the end, we have to make some effort to get along), but not that tolerant as individuals.
Minor hijack:
One of Alison Bechdel’s characters in Dykes to Watch Out For For has certain criteria for seeing movies. The movie must
1) have at least two female characters
2) with names
3) who have a discussion with each other at some point
4) about something other than a man
It’s shocking how few movies meet that criteria when you think about it.
Why? I’m not going to force anyone to watch a movie they don’t want to see, but I think it’s valid to ask why the stories (movies) we as a culture like to see are so male-focused.
The person to whom I was replying didn’t ask why. She made an assumption about a complex issue, reducing it to a lack of equality. That’s why I consider it a lousy example.
I think the Dope is intolerant of sexual bondage, much less tolerant of it than of, say, homosexuality.
I won’t argue that there are more “chick flicks” as there are action movies or what not, but I think you are wrong assuming there are names for them simply because they are in shortage. They are called “chick flicks” because that is the target demographic. The majority of guys don’t care about that kind of film any more than the average woman cares to watch Stephen Segal movies.
If by “intolerant” you mean other people are not interested in flogging (ha!) the subject to the same extent you are, I think you’re correct. But it is not intolerant to be baffled / bored / put off by other people’s hobbies.
And it is inherently more fair, and therefore more defensible, to be judgmental about people’s voluntary choices, than it is to be judgmental about human conditions people neither chose nor can change.
This is interesting, I do find Evil Captor’s postings about bondage to be TMI or even ‘deviant’, but who are you to say, that it is strictly a voluntary choice for him? Maybe this is the only way he can get sexual gratification and as long as it is between consenting adults, why should you or I care about the deviant part of it?
Many people still consider homosexuals to be deviants, I don’t agree, but the way you appear to be looking down on EC appears to put you closer to these people than a tolerant person.
The flogging play on words was funny though and I fully agree with what you said about being bored by others peoples hobbies, is not the same as intolerant.
Jim
In the past, EC’s bondage posts have strayed too close to disrespectful (i.e. not necessarily completely consensual - or not concerned if the bondage porn may have a coerced component as long as it fill his needs) and obsessive for me to be completely comfortable with it. There seems - at least to me - to be a line. i.e. I’m o.k. with homosexuals - I’m not ok with the acquaintance who got a straight guy drunk and gave him a blow job. I’m OK with legalized prostitution, I’m not OK when a Thai girl gets sold to a brothel by her family or when a woman turns tricks because its the only way to feed her drug habit. I’m not saying EC has crossed that line - but the tone of some of his posts leaves me uncomfortable - is that intolerance?
I’m not sure whether or not homosexuality is a choice, or whether or not interest in sexual bondage is, either. Seems a moot point and a bit of an evasion, to me.
Well, in my case, no, I do just fine with vanilla sex too and like it fine. Seems a moot point to me.
Here’s what I think. I think conservative posters don’t like sexual bondage because it’s about sex and they don’t like discussions of sex unless they follow within very narrow, proscribed limits. I think liberal posters don’t like maledom/femsub sexual bondage because it’s too much like old-fashioned sexism to them. Tends to create an atmosphere of intolerance.
Show me some place where I have advocated anything but consensuality with regard to sex in real life. Just one post. You can’t. Because I haven’t. The only place where I think you could get this impression is that I am OK with such portrayals in movies and such.
Which posts? Where? I DARES ya. You got nothing. You are making this stuff up.
No, I’m giving you my perception. I assure you, I’m not making up my perception. And as you said - its that you are OK with the portrayal in movies and such. Have you ever said these things - no I don’t believe you have or I wouldn’t say simply “it makes me uncomfortable” I’d come right out and say you are downright creepy. Instead I’ve just gotten an undercurrent of “I wouldn’t want to go out on a date with this guy” - and this from a girl who has owned handcuffs.
Well, I think it’s kind of irresponsible and wrong to go around saying you “perceive” someone to be into nonconsensual in real life when you’ve got absolutely no evidence to back it up.
Well, I do make a distinction between what I see in movies and on TV and real life. I do not see how this makes me creepy. I think it makes me sane.
I just wanted to say that this is a principle I agree with completely. All our choices are made based on who or what we are. We can’t make choices that are contrary to our essence. It isn’t even possible. (And no, that doesn’t mean I don’t believe in free moral will. I do.)