How am I so special

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

A friend of mine recently called me and asked for my help. Specifically he asked me:

“Luke, I need some help and you are literally the one person on earth that can help me.”

I assumed he was speaking hyperbolically, he assured me he was not. Before he asked me, I could not imagine what I and I alone could help him with. But after he asked, I realized he was right.

I am not a famous or particularly talented person. I don’t own any one of a kind items. This is an old, close friend but one who I see only a few times a year these days.

I’m sure there might be several possible answers to this question but I could think of just this one. Can you guess what it might be?

Note: this is not a hypothetical, it actually happened.

2

INHO - Most probable answer for why and “old, close friend” would contact you for help is your shared history along with a sense of trust that history creates. It has nothing to do with what you CAN do. It’s what your friend think you will do, probably discretely and with few questions asked.

3

Wow, that’s actually on the right path. Nice job. But it is something he asked me to physically do.

4

Drive the getaway car?

5

If you ask me to extract cricket bat splinters from your ass, that’s something you want me to physically do. You would probably prefer that I do it discretely and with few questions.

I’m not your friend and I ask questions. We need the whole story.

6

Perhaps dig up a time capsule sort of thing you buried together sometime in your youth? Or retrieve an item that was otherwise hidden away in a place that only you would know about?

7

He asked **Lucas **to move the body to a new shallow grave.

Or, **Lucas **is the only one with access to a safe deposit box or some such, and the friend gave him something for safekeeping years ago.

8

Impregnate his wife?

9

Donate a kidney since you are the only known tissue match.

10

Plant your fingerprints and DNA at a crime scene?

11

Alpha Twit: It’s “discreetly” if you mean “with discretion.”

If you mean “separately,” then “discretely” would be correct.

12

I can just about guarantee it will be unpleasant, whatever it is.

13

I’m thinking of an old joke about a rattlesnake bite in a sensitive area with the punchline “Doctor says you gonna die.”

14

No, it’s a well established protocol that BOTH keys are needed to launch those missiles.

15

Like wire money to them in a foreign country because they got mugged and need to buy new airplane tickets.

16

All good guesses that I probably wouldn’t have thought of.

What happened was he had told someone he was camping with me when in reality he was somewhere he shouldn’t have been and needed an alibi. He wanted me to send him photos of a camping trip we had taken together years ago.

I didn’t and wished him well.

17

Oh, that’s a good one. Was the “someone” his wife? And how did he take it when you refused to give him the pictures?

Also, if the pics were taken years ago, were they useful? “Hey Hon, I was camping with Luke last week, I swear. See, here are these pics of us… No! My hair always grows out and I lose 20 pounds whenever I go camping! Damndest thing!”

18

He wanted you to lie for him? I might have done it…for a price.:wink:

19

Ha ha. Well it was for a woman. The problem was I was also friends with her so I would have felt bad being complicit in the lie.

I hadn’t seen him in 6 months or so, so no idea if he would have matched the old photos. I’m sure he knew it was a dodgy ask when he did it.

20

Did you at least consider blackmailing him?