My friend helped me because... he wanted to get laid!

The BBQ Pit
1

Wow! I’m such a fucking dumb ass! I thought my male friend was helping me because:

A) he was my friend
B) I’d helped him in the past
C) he really wanted to see me succeed

Ernt!

Wrong!

My friend helped me because he thought:

A) he’d get laid
B) he’d get laid
C) he’d get laid

Yes, that’s right! He helped me because he thought I’d pay him back in pussy. Gosh, or should I say gash, isn’t that swell?

I know that after this experience I’m going to be right there behind him…

To be the first one to push him off the cliff!

Come on, can’t be every guy thinks that if you help a woman she is going to put out. Or am I some kind of Polly Anna here? I thought we were friends and that friends help each other out without some kind of payoff looming. What the fuck did I miss? I’ve never had a female friend pull this on me…

(For the record) I didn’t wear “tight” clothes or even in a left-handed way hint that I would fuck him. Where he got this was in his own brain.

What is the deal with guys? Is it just him? Or do all guys see sex as a pay off for helping a female friend? And no, it’s not money help. It’s carpentry help. He didn’t do any work he just gave me advice on a project I was working on.

I mean, shit. I’ve done his taxes for three years. For free. I didn’t ask for anything. Until now. I wanted some advice on how to hang floor to ceiling shelves. Am I out of line or something?

2

Just curious: how did you find out that his motive was sex? Did he just say that?

3

He (sorta) came right out and said it.

“Ya know, I get paid almost 20 an hour to do this stuff.”

“Yeah, I’m sure. I get paid almost 30 for my tax stuff. So?”

“Well, you could pay me or you could pay me; know what I mean?”

“Well, no, what exactly do you mean? Do you expect me to pay you?”

“In one way or another, yeah.”

“Okay, 20 an hour seems fair.”

“How about we work for something else besides money?”

“Like what?”

“Well, you could spend a night at my house, that sounds about right.”

“For your advice?”

“Well, yeah, sure.”

“Even though I’ve helped you out?”

“Yeah, but this is different. We’re talking about my work here.”

It was as this point that I kicked him out of my house. Apparently, there is a vast difference between his “work” and mine.

I guess he never said “sex” but “spend the night at my house” surely didn’t mean he wanted me to do his dishes. I’m paraphrasing the conversation but that’s the gist of it. It felt really sleazy and I actually took a shower when he left.

4

Hey, come on, maybe he’s just scared of the dark!

5

OK, that does sound pretty low. How long has he been your friend?

6

Evilbeth – well, if he’s worried about the dark he has a pit bull and I think about 5 guns. He doesn’t lack in the home security department! I myself have a dog and totally illegal pepper spray. I think we’re even, really. Not to mention (but I will) the fact that I have totally weird hours and I’m up now when it’s almost 5 am. It’s not really off my schedule, it’s just a late night or early morning for me. Nothing like being an independent artist!

Coldie – (I like that, is that okay with you?) He’s been my friend for about 5 years. At one time we were lovers. But that was long ago and only went on for a month. We’ve been friends, non-sexual, ever since.

The thing is, I’ve done him a lot of favors and never asked for anything… why is he now making demands on me? That doesn’t seem fair.

7

Right, an ex-lover. Not to justify anything Byz (if that’s OK with you :wink: [Coldie is fine]), but that does explain it a bit. Men will always have a slight tendency to consider sex with an ex. I know I have on many an occasion. But that sort of thing is supposed to happen in your mind only (well, I suppose it could become reality if both parties wanted it). If he openly and seriously suggests it as a means of payment, even if you have been quite clear on your intentions with him (i.e. pure friendship), he is indeed way out of line.

8

Byz, I say throw him over you shoulder, spin him and toss his butt across the room !
That kind of thing always bugged the crap out of me when I was younger. Now that I’m a tad older I’d most likely fall on the floor laughing.

Gee just because he used to have access to the cookie jar (so to speak) doesn’t mean you gave him a life-time pass.

I could come to visit and sit on him while you kick his ass.

Anything for a friend.

9

Okay, the CONSIDER part I’m okay with but the EXPECTING part just makes me want to rip his fucking dick off!

I’ve slept with him too. But I haven’t expected anything. I’ve never asked, hinted or whatever. Frankly, he’s not worth it… Thank you, Coldie … I also just think his attitude is wrong. It might be different if we had such an arrangement in the past or something… but no.

Very suddenly, very out of now where, he thinks my parted legs are his due. I’m not a fucking whore. I can pay him with money if that is what he wants but I’ve never paid for anything with my cunt. That’s just nasty. And it makes me very angry that he “thinks” I should or that somehow, it’s “right” that I do that.

I mean, geeze, my dad did some electrical work (he’s an electrician) so should I give him a blow job?

Ayesha – now, now, don’t give my any twirling ideas! And thank you. Just because he once had a pass doesn’t mean he got some “perpetual” cookie treat pass. I don’t expect that of him, why on earth would he expect it of me? You and I could seriously fuck this guy up… but then he’d call the cops and well, it would just get more ugly than his face…

Oh, yeah, guess what? I don’t think me and him are friends anymore. Gee, go figure, right? He’ll probably say I have PMS or something. Oh, wait, no, he’ll say I’m a lessbo dike… or I fuck my dog or … whatever it takes to explain the fact that I don’t want to go to bed with him. Been there, done that one!

Is it just guys who have this attitude? Or are there some guys out there that have been on the receiving end of this crap? Honestly, I’m not male bashing. I’m not saying that every man is like this. But this guy is. Anyone else?

10

If he was just lookin’ to get laid (and most guys are, most of the time), he should have been either honest enough to just ask, or courteous enough to try to seduce you. IMO it was extremely tacky for him to tie it in with your performing a service for him.

Just curious–was the service already finished, when the subject of sex came up (heh heh)? So he couldn’t stomp out with it half-completed and say, “Well, all right then, move your own freezer!”, leaving it halfway up the basement stairs?

One bright spot, though–at least you were at YOUR house, so YOU could throw HIM out.

11

Duck Duck– uh, he tied it into him performing a service for me. He got about half way through the discussion (of how I could trim out my windows) when this “came” up.

Yep, he was half way through telling me what to do when the “sex” thing came up. Well, he might think I’ll look him up (because he thinks I can’t puzzle it out myself) but I am an extreme bibliophile (I have a lot of books) and I looked it up.

Frankly, I don’t need him. Thank GODS I know how to read and follow instructions!

And for the record: I moved my own freezer and refrigerator way back when. I’m a big girl and moving shit isn’t what I need help with! Come on, come over here, let me bench press ya! I promise not to grab your cluster!

12

I’ve never helped anyone and expected sex from it. I’ve done things in the hopes that I might possibly be held in the light where I might get a date out of it…

I think he’s pretty classless to act this way. I know guys like that, but then they go for the hoes that WILL give “Pussy payments” for their services…

Go figure!

-Sam

13

This person is not your friend.

That said, I would advise you that when people show you who they are, be sure and take a good look.

Stop seeing him for the friend you thought he was, and see him for the snake he is.

Take a good look, so you’ll remember.

14

Prostitution is prostitution, whether the payment is money or services. It’s still payment for sex. So, he was suggesting that’s OK?

OTOH, if he was your ex, and he’s trying to find a way to rekindle the flame, you might consider that he just chose a highly inappropriate way.

15

Byz, I, for one, would be glad to help you with any interior design project and would never, ever expect you to repay me with sexual favors. Really. :wink:

Esprix

16

How long since he’d gotten any? (Not from you.)
and
How much had he had to drink?

The guy was totally out of line, but I’m wondering if his hormones were on overtime or his brain was slightly fried.

No justification, but wondering what prompted it.

Heck, I shared an apartment with a woman for a couple of months, doing laundry, shopping, meals, dishes, etc., and never expected her to “come across.” (Good thing I wasn’t expecting anything; I’d have been really frustrated if I had been.)

17

No offense, but there is reason to believe you were kind of blind on this one Byzantine. If you were lovers 4 years and 11 months ago and then “friends” something is missing from the equation. I would have to believe that this gentleman, (whoops sorry) this weasel had dropped sexual innuendo in the past. This just being a point where he made a very stupid and vile suggestion in no uncertain terms.

What I am saying is you were more than justified to toss his ass and should probably have laid him out with a bat but there had to have been signs of his lust for you. Had this guy dated much in those 5 years or was he holding some candle that the two of you would hook up again for a mattress polka?

18

Out of curiosity, what is the going rate of exchange on that?

:: running ::

Yer pal,
Satan

I HAVE BEEN SMOKE-FREE FOR:
One month, two weeks, 13 hours, 39 minutes and 59 seconds.
1782 cigarettes not smoked, saving $222.84.
Life saved: 6 days, 4 hours, 30 minutes.

19

<< putting on stainless-steel jock >>

Well, Satan, here in the Midwest the going rate is, generally speaking, one sex act per freezer move.

However, if I were actually going to move a freezer, I’m not ashamed to admit that I’d need help, but the other guy would have to negotiate his own deal.

Unless Byz wanted to carry the other end herself…

:smiley:

20

Byzantine…
Well, if you have slept with him in the past, he might get the idea that it was ok to ask you for that… however… if not… then he obviously doesn’t have alot of respect for you, nor women in general. Find another friend. There are plenty of men out there who have some class.
I have dealt with guys like that in the past. They think by taking you to dinner that means your going to swap bodily fluids with them. One guy in the middle of dinner said that since he was paying, I OWED it to him to sleep with him. The check came. I threw down my half of the bill, stood up and as I was walking out to drive myself home I said over my shoulder “There, now you can start without me…”
The next day he called to ask why I was pissed.