A guy with whom I am acquainted is involved with local government. I don’t know him very well, but he seems like a good enough guy AFAICT. Lately there is a minor controversy going around concerning some kind of technicality that doesn’t look like it matters very much.
I know I am being vague. The guy is basically becoming a small object of gossip and I would just as soon be respectful. I have no personal ax to grind with him and besides, while seeming to not be a serious issue in the first place it may not even be true in the first place. Shouldn’t I avoid bringing up the subject myself? What exactly is the best thing to say if, without my prompting, this topic comes up around this person?
Sounds like a case for benign neglect. Don’t bring the subject up yourself, and if others do, don’t participate in the discussion. If you can’t stay out of it, limit yourself to the most gentle possible comments. Diplomacy.
If someone says, “This scum-sucking crook embezzled all the school lunch money and oughta be hanged,” just say, “Do you mind changing the subject?”
(“We’re trying to eat here…”)
Tact. Diplomacy. Etiquette. The gentle answer that turns away wrath. Oil upon the waters.
(And, when he sees how cool and calm you are, he’ll cut you in on his next big embezzling scheme!)
Well, if it’s a “technicality that doesn’t matter very much” I would’t be afraid to explore it further with him if the subject came up… or even to bring it up if you think he needs a little moral support.
If it turns out to be more than that then you have reason to avoid him or the subject in the future.
Since he’s just an acquaintance there is no reason to fully believe his side of the story and become a crusader on his behalf… that way you don’t have any troubles if he is lieing to you.
