An aunt lived until 98, and was considering buying another car at 90 because the one she had bought new was 10 years old. I told her to go ahead. She didn’t, though, because she figured she’d die too soon to enjoy it. She should have. She had another five years before she stopped driving.
All the old people she’d drive to doctor appointments and grocery shopping were younger than she was by 10 to 20 years.
This post speaks for me.
You never know what will happen. The 23-year-old preoccupied with mortality might be thinking too hard about it and not notice the Mack truck bearing down. Medical advances means I’ve already lived longer than any of my ancestors would have – ages ago I would have died from appendicitis in my 20s if nothing else. So don’t worry about it and enjoy today.
My father lived to 90 (well, he’s still alive, but just barely at this point), and my mother’s 89. I’m more worried about having my physical or mental health impaired by Parkinson’s (Dad) or dementia (Mom) than I am about death, since odds are that death is still a few decades off in my case.
Really glad I found this site. These post have gave me a certain inspiration and also I have found company here that thinks about the same things I do. I am 61 and by all medical information and news articles and such that I should be terrified that I will just keel over in the next moment or soon, since everything is suppose to get you at 60. I started worrying about dying as far back as I can remember ,which means I probably have worried about it most of my 61 years… I am finding that most people just decide to do what they want and when the moment comes it just comes… Whatever is will be sort of thing but sometimes easier said than done but now reading all these post from others helps me to realize that maybe worry is the worst thing you can do since you are just wasting your precious time that you could be enjoying life instead of torment.
Anyway thank all of you from the bottom of my heart. These post have given me a lot to think about and hopefully do something about , to stop worrying and start living while I can. Thanks again.
I’m with Shakespeare* on this one:
I never really expected to make it this far or have my life in such order, so anything from now on is a bonus.
*Henry IV Act 3 Scene 2
Well listen, think of it this way. In most cases you won’t even know you’ve died. Your death will be other people’s problem, because you won’t be here to witness it, or feel any loss related to what could’ve come after. Life and death are their own reward: when you’re alive you can enjoy life, and when you’re dead you won’t feel loss, much less feel anything at all. So relax and make sure you’ve alive as long as you are, is all.
Getting older has some benefits for me. I mature, get more comfortable in my skin, etc.
However the health issues scare me. I feel like chronic pain is something I am guaranteed to face. And medicine doesn’t have a whole lot of answers. A life of constantly being tortured by your own brain is not appealing.
Time keeps passing so getting old then dying is going to happen whether you fear it or not. Therefore, the fear serves no purpose and is literally the most pointless waste of energy ever conceived by the mind of man.
The alternative, not getting old because you died young, holds little appeal to most people.
“I hope I die before I get old”! (“The Who”).
I’ve come to realize that being old enough to say “I’ve lived a full life and if I die tomorrow, so what?” and “I’m going to live as long as possible” makes for the best time of your life.
Hello, everyone; 3-4 month lurker checking in; what an interesting and erudite board! The fact that I jumped aboard on* this* thread might tell more about me than anything else I could say, sooo…
I am 55 years old; I have been involved in a number of Christian denominations over the years; I am utterly fascinated by all human religious belief and behavior; I am currently studying in some detail the Qu’ran (in English translation, of course). I would describe myself as “spiritual but not religious” - cliche, I know, but there it is.
As honestly as I can state it - I am utterly* appalled* when I consider the possibility that I might not be awake and alert at the time of my death. I love life, and I am sure I will love death just as much. I fervently hope that I will not miss this once-in-a-deathtime event!
This may have something to do with the fact that everyone who knows me - friends and family alike - will agree that I have been 40 years old since the day I was born, and I’m still that age, as far as I am concerned. I am a child; I am a teenager; I am a young adult, trying to find my way; I am an old curmudgeon…you get the idea. I guess I see life globally, whatever that might mean.
Long live Death! (and yes; “Thanatopsis” has always been one of my favorites. Who knows, William Cullen Bryant - I might very well have some of your “elements” in me).
Sorry for the exuberance; we “converts” (first-time posters) can get giddy, as I’m sure you know.
My advice would be to get used to the idea. Very, very used to it.
I know…but hope springs eternal.
I totally get you… I am going to be 57 next Friday, and think about mortality a lot. I envy those who don’t, but it has been a constant background noise for the last twenty years. I am someone who loves life, although day to day nothing really amazing happens, but I do have a really decent life. I make really good $, and enjoy a quality of living that many do not, I’ve been a lot of places, have taken personal risks that over time have made me happier, my health, despite diabetes, is pretty good. I can feel pretty grateful on a regular basis, and I honestly think, the more you love being alive, the more you think life is beautiful - the more you dread the day that the grim reaper comes a calling. I think many of the people here who don’t relate to the worry and the churn, maybe just don’t love life as much as we do… therefore, they don’t concern themselves with those sorts of worries. So, while I love life - I do worry every day… and perhaps worry is not the right idea… let’s say I am pre-occupied with the reality of the notion that I am closer to my death now, than to the day I was born. I mean, let’s face it. Life is all we know. I have not resolved to my satisfaction the question of afterlife. I am open to the notion, but the older I get, I feel my faith in God and the afterlife is deteriorating. When I talk to God, as I understand him, I talk to him/her/it about this… Also, you know, there is much I would have done differently, knowing what I know today. Not so much regrets because I can clearly see - and have resolved that every mis-step has yielded gifts as well - so, regrets are not the issue for me. Someone famous once said, it is not the things you did that you will regret as much as the things you did not do. Yeah, for me - that’s true. I had a vision of ALL that I wanted to be, and to do - and I’ve exceeded everyone’s expectations in terms of how far I could go in my life, except my own. It’s funny, people compare their insides to everyone elses outsides, and it is a fruitless engagement - if you know what I mean. Not a living soul knows exactly what it is like to be you, or me. Not one… let me say that again, not one. So, we really are in a position where to have peace, we have to accept ourselves, the good, the bad, the warts as well. I have had times in my life where I felt, and strongly believes that the Spirit of the Universe (call it what you wish) was involved in my life, signaling me - guiding me, dropping the right people at the right time. Is that a Supreme being? Is it the subconscious covertly propelling us to where we want to go? Is that just pure instinct… I have no idea. It’s that whole notion of NOT KNOWING that bugs me… So, I guess for me, I need to get straight with the NOT KNOWING. I need find peace in that… be okay with it, accept it. Truth is - there are no gurus… you are your own guru. I say that, with some sense of how lonely that might make you feel and that is not what I wish for you. What I do know, is I know myself much better now at 56 - almost 57, than I did years ago. I used to care more about what other people think, but I don’t now. I care more about what I feel about stuff… and whether it sits well for me. Perhaps I just need to let that be my compass and in doing so, find myself. If we find ourselves, isn’t that the most important thing at the end of the day? What lies beyond, nobody knows. The cute, contrite, religious answers are not right for me. The mystery of the Spirit of the Universe and how it all works, is just that, a mystery to behold and to feel wonder about. It seems to be there at times, but those times are fleeting. Our pragmatism and ignorance blind us to enduring faith. So, I say to you - reaching out from my spirit - endure. You will never have all the answers, nor will I, but accept that part of you that loves life, and worries about it ending. That, for you, and for me is just a fact of life. Accept it, make friends with it - not everyone has it - and trust me - there is a gift in there, that you and I will receive - and others will not. Know this… although you feel very alone with it - you are not. I got the same low level grind, and suspect I always will. When I draw my last breathe - whenever that day comes, if it is before you, I will think of you.
Eh, shit happens.
I noticed that five years ago, I suggested that the OP read “Cautionary Tales.”
In the likely event that she didn’t go to the Library, I found that someone has posted it on the web (Word .doc here).
Open it in Word, and search for “Cautionary Tales.”
We can’t read that wall of text. Sorry.
Do the things that, on your death bed, you will wish you had done. Do them now, or start arranging your life so you can. The younger you are, the easier that will be.
I’m 77. Next month I’m going to Ethiopia, because I don’t want to lie on my death bed and say “I wish I had gone to Ethiopia”. I’m rapidly losing my vision, and a year from now, it might be too late.