I’m going to be 26 this month, but people treat me like I’m still 18. I don’t think that I look particularly young for my age; it’s more the way I dress and present myself. While I’m glad that I have such a youthful, happy go lucky approach to life, I find that in certain situations it would be to my advantage to be seen as my age (or even a few years older).
Next year my son enters kindergarten, and I feel just a wee bit self-concious about being one of the younger moms. I’d like to take an active role in school affairs but I’m afraid that people just won’t take me seriously. Heck, I don’t even take myself seriously.
Do any of the Teeming Millions have any suggestions for me? I’m pretty sure that I’ve got to stop carrying a Scooby Doo back pack around with me everywhere, but other than that I’m clueless.
A really easy way that worked for me when I started teaching high school at 19, was to wear some cool glasses,but with just clear glass in the frames. After people get used to you “seeming older” you can stop wearing them and everyone will assume you got contacts.
You gotta be kidding? Look older? One day you will regret those words!!! Just be you. Don’t try to look older. And I love your name, it’s one of my favorites on the board.
Glasses…I like that and I am going to the optometrist soon anyway. And I never put my contacts because my allergeries kill me, don’t know why I didn’t think of getting glasses before.
Ultress, thanks for your kind words. To be honest, this is somewhat of a self-esteem issue for me. My parents were/are very over-protective of me, and now I have a hard time picturing myself doing anything. I’ve never even had a real job, other than a few temporary things in college. When my son starts full time school, I want to start working on my career. I love being a stay at home mom, but even if I stay home til he’s 18, I’m still going to have 30 or 40 years to fill!
I guess older was I poor word choice, more “mature” is probably more what I’m going for. I feel like a big, overgrown kid…not somebody to be taken seriously and respected. I figure the best way to get self-confidence it to go out there and earn it, and I’d like to do everything in my power to ensure that people are willing to give me a chance.
tatertot - maybe if you post a link to a picture, we could give you more specific ideas.
You might also think about a new hair style - your hairdresser should be able to help you on this. Also, clothes can change your appearance by showing what group you think you belong to.
OTOH, you might just get a book on assertiveness or self-confidence. Most people who are respected get that respect because they act like they deserve it.
Lets see… As far as I’ve seen from the malls, the most effective way to look older is to dress really slutty. At least that seems to be the the modus operandi for the teenie bopper set. This may get you some stares during your next PTA meeting though…
Tell ya what. You teach me how to look 18 I’ll show you how to look 30, deal?
Seriously though, I agree with the other posters. Assertiveness is certainly beneficial in looking older, or at least waranting the respect you deserve.
I don’t think I can really help you out tatertot, but I am in the same boat…
I’m 22 but commonly mistaken for a high school student, when I already graduated with a 4 year degree last May. I always feel like none of the patients I see (I’m going to be a dietitian very soon, currently a dietitian intern) ever take me seriously, since they’re usually 40 to 60 years older than me. I know I need a serious self-confidence boost, and maybe I wouldn’t worry about looking young so much…but only if it were that easy…
I can’t count how many times I’ve heard the line “When you get older you’ll appreciate it/love it/still look young.” Funny, that doesn’t seem to help the current problem.
You have the problem of looking to young? Well like it was said try glasses. Maybe act more serious at least at the PTA’s dress a little more conservatively.
Me often I am thought to be older then what I am. I’m 17 and more often then not over the past 5 years (I really do mean the past 5 years) I’ve been mistaken for someone around 20 or so. Once I was even thought to be my Dad’s wife and my little brother our son… that was just weird and I don’t know how he got that idea…
Tater…just look around you at the slightly older women. The ones at the school (drive by at release time) or the grocery store, and check out what makes them different. Sometimes it’s simple things, polo shirts instead of t-shirts, a definite hair style instead of a pony tail. But since what you want is to fit in, see what everyone else is doing!! And at 26 you probably won’t be the youngest Mom. I was in day care and had lots of Moms that were in their mid-teens when they started. Good Luck!!
To me it sounds like you wanted to be taken seriously. Half of it is how you look. If you dress ah la 90210, you won’t be treated as an adult. However, you don’t want to dress above your age either. There will be plenty of years in your life for wearing dull outfits from ( insert dull store your grandma shopped at here)
Don’t be ashamed of being a young mom. You are a good mom. When people say to you, " You musta been young when you had your child." You can reply, " Young in years, old in the soul and always poor in pockey." It sounds better than
" Yeah, I was clueless and 19."
I think the rest of the problem (and its not really a problem, considering the emails we’ve bopped back and forth and I never once thought you were young sounding in your intelligent writing. Really.) is having people not look at you like you are an inexperienced twit. It took me, oh, about thirty years for people to stop looking at me like I was some fresh faced miss. Now I’m called Ma’am. It’s weird.
[Being mindless ramble about ME.]I use to look young. Younger than my years, but somewhere along the way I started looking 30. Happened about the same time I had a child and 1) don’t have time or a care to poof myself up to run and get bread and milk.-not that I ever did. 2) Never did have a sense of style and add a few pounds and a very limited wardrobe while working on shedding the few pounds and you come up with a rather frumpy look. I don’t care for it, but I won’t buy any new clothes. When I reach my goal weight, I intend to invest in some classic and timeless clothes, ah la audrey Hepburnish. I’ve always prefer timeless over trendy in wardrobe choices.Enough about me, a subject I’ve no clue about.[End egotisical ramble]
I learned to be taken seriously is simple:
1)Keep your mouth shut unless you can improve the silence. 2)When opening your mouth, make sure you can back up your facts.
3)Pay attention to your speaking mannerisms. I have a terrible habit of going " Ummmm" or “wellll” while thinking and am really trying to drop both and did not realize it until my toddler started mimicking me.
I have a few other “hints”, but it gets to much into personal prolytizing and the like, so I shall end this with out any remarkable statement.
Hey girlfriend… Go with it and enjoy it. By the time you’re my age you’ll be saying… Oh, never mind!! I’m still enjoying it. Still think about my buddy over there. Give everyone a hug from GBS…
