How do I dress to look older?

I have a problem that’s turning out to be more impactful than I realized; I look young. I’m a 25-year-old man, but I could pass for 18 or even younger depending on how I’m dressed. While it’s easy to laugh it off and say, “At least I’ll look great when I’m 50!”, I got carded at a freaking R-rated movie the other day. It carries over into other areas of my life - I’ve found that I get taken less seriously as a customer at restaurants and get completely ignored in situations where a salesperson is involved (I actually had a car salesman tell me to come back with my parents - I almost punched him). In any office situation, I’m always looked at as “the kid,” even though I frequently have more education and experience than the people that view me as such.

So, what can I do to at least appear my age? I try to dress age-appropriate in any given situation, and honestly, I try to overcompensate a bit because I feel like I need to - I may wear a button-down shirt and slacks when I go out to eat even though I’d rather be wearing a t-shirt and cargo shorts. What else can I do, in general?

I’ve been considering getting a pair of fashionable but no-prescription glasses - will they make me look a little more sophisticated (if anything), or just like a nerdy kid?

Any ideas?

Short of dying your hair gray and wearing plaid golf pants, there ain’t a whole lot you can do.

I had a friend in high school who looked like he was 18 when he was 18…and he looked like he was 18 when he was 25, and the same when he was 30 and 35 and the last time I saw him, he looked the same except he was 45 and the only thing that had changed was the slight graying in the temples. For him it was a blessing as he was an actor.

My suggestion is to get used to it, get over it, and count your lucky stars. It might be a drag now…but in ten, fifteen or thirty years when you are still scoring with 18 year olds, you probably won’t have a problem with it.

Doormen check accessories.
Go for nicer, smarter shoes and belts than you would normally buy.

Talk to your barber, it could be an overly trendy/boyish haircut that’s the problem.
Last resort…cord jacket with elbow patches, worn with a nice shirt, tailored jeans and boat shoes.

Yeah, I’m pretty much already rocking all of those things. I have a love of belts, shoes, and accessories that no other straight man my age dares to harbor. :slight_smile:

I try to match them appropriately to social role; while I have and love this watch, I’d never wear it to the office, opting for something more formal like this one. Ditto for belts and their buckles, ties, shoes, and so on and so forth.

Nice Watches!
Oh, and while glasses can look very sexy…on some men they just look like Joe 90, which is not a good look!

The other thing you could do is to work the body language angle.

Stand up tall, chest out, head up, act like you own the room. Walk into shops and make sure you know what you’re looking for…then ask for it politely but authoritatively. Flash the cash if you need to. Stay polite, but be definite about what you want to happen. Too much deference and you’ll get taken advantage of.
Practice “a voice”…one which says “I am in control of this situation, and I have every right to tell you what to do”.
I’m 23, but if I try to buy a bottle of wine wearing jeans and a t-shirt, and grab the cheapest bottle off the rack I know I’ll get asked for ID. If I’m wearing a nice dress, heels and makeup or look like I know what I’m doing by spending some time choosing a nice bottle, or asking the staff what they would recommend to go with a certain meal, I won’t.

Choose more conservative styles. Look at what men 15 or 20 years older than you wear.

If your voice isn’t very deep, try to bring it down a bit. Talk a little more slowly. Make direct eye contact. It is a sign of maturity to address people clearly and directly.

A tried-and-true tactic for altering people’s perception of your age is to reference music and events that happened before you were old enough to actually experience them. Brush up on music from the '70s and political events that happened before you were old enough to actually care about them.

If you can grow a beard or mustache, that always helps, too.

How do you dress now?
Do you dress like a kid or do you have a really young face. Listen to Barry White and practice talking in a really deep voice.

Grow some facial hair. Shave your head. Wear suspenders. Wear shorts with black shoes and socks.

But seriously, count your blessings and just be yourself. I know someone who looks about 15 years **older **than his real age, and believe me, you don’t want that.

I’m 22. I only look 22 as long as I have a beard. When I’m clean-shaven I look about 12.

Truthfully, that’s a lot of the reason I have the beard. (The other reasons are (1) I hate shaving and (b) I have a nervous habit of pulling at my beard that I’d like to keep.)

Don’t know what your dimensions are but if you are thin and tall(ish), the biggest fashion faux pas that guys your age (and body type) make is that they wear clothes that are too damn big for them. Looks like their wearing their father’s hand me down shirt and pants.

Wear clothes that are properly sized. If you’re a medium, don’t wear large. It doesn’t make you look bigger. It does the opposite.

Haircut? Possibly.

Style of clothes? Maybe. You’d have to be more specific about your wardrobe.

In general, I wouldn’t worry. When you are in your 40’s and look like you’re in your 30’s, you’ll be very glad.

Carry id. So what if you get carded! Thank them for the compliment and go right through.

Facial hair is a good idea, just make sure it doesn’t make you look like you’re in costume for a school play. If a moustache and such isn’t the way to go, a little stubble is a good way to put on a few years. Just a little stubble; 80s fashions may be in again, the but Miami Vice unshaven look is still awfully contrived looking.

Aside from confident posture, give direct eye contact and don’t smile as big or as often. Conservative clothes in conservative colors. As Quicksilver mentioned, have your id, and have it ready. It’ll minimize any attention.

Dress and act exactly how you want. Be yourself. Stop worrying about it.

Anything you do to try to make yourself look older will only make you look younger, because only young people try to look older. And everyone can tell.

Definitely facial hair. My husband has a moustache-and-goatee thing going which not only looks darned good on him, it also stops me looking like I’m cradle-snatching. (He’s actually 2 years older than me, but if he shaves off the facial hair he looks a good 10 years or more younger!)

But he said he wants to look older. There are ways to do it without being obvious.

Start dating older women. Grow a beard/facial hair. Worked for me.

Are you short? Is that part of the problem?

I’m 5’9, which is supposedly “not short,” but it seems that 98.9% of other men I see are significantly taller than me.

I think that main problem is that I have a “baby face” - smooth skin and no facial hair. I’m that type that can’t grow a beard or moustache - if I go for three or four days without shaving, it’s barely noticeable. I can’t grow stubble and I don’t have a five-o-clock shadow.

To the person who suggested “don’t try to look older - you’ll just look like you’re trying to look older,” please understand that I’m only trying to look my actual age rather than deceptively young.

I don’t know if ‘short’ is a problem with being mistaken for a younger age. I’ve seen 12 year olds who were 6’ tall, and I have a cousin who is about 45 years old and 5’1". Nobody mistakes him for younger.

I stopped being carded when I started shopping with my children. I don’t get carded in restaurants anymore either. I understand that it’s annoying to be carded. But sometimes I wish somebody would card me. I’d be flattered. I’m 38. I don’t pass for a young thing anymore. But when I was in college, people either thought I was an early-entry student (EEP) or a grad student. I have no idea why.

To look older, yeah, I think facial hair is a good choice, assuming you can grow it. One of my brothers couldn’t really grown a beard of any sort until he was in his 30’s. My husband (37) looks about 10 years younger if he shaves off his beard. I think, since I don’t know what you wear, that stepping away from the trendy whatever the teens are wearing these days, is good.

Average height for men is 5’9".

I’d vote the baby face-- one of the guys I’m seeing is 25 and in a t-shirt and jeans he looks… um. 12? 15? Almost too young to be my little brother, even! He’s also one of those skinny types, so he’s got that teenaged “eating everything in sight and next month I’ll be 2” taller" look. (He’d better not grow any more; I like him just a skooch shorter than me.)

Have you considered a good hat? Or growing your hair out some (as most of the 15 year olds around here still cut their hair as Mom and Dad like it, i.e. really short) or cultivating an interesting tie collection, if that’s your style?

Or you could just run around in a white blouse and a schoolgirl skirt, and then you’d KNOW that people weren’t treating you oddly just because you looked young. :smiley:

Corrvin

Grow a moustache.

Since that would appear to be hard for you, just try putting on a fake one. One of my friends put on one of those Old-Distinguished-Gent-trimmed-but-long fakey’s and the chics dug him until he intro’d himself (he’s got a terrible personality tho).