Wow - with so much love and sacrifice it would be like, well, like Titanic in Space!
Actually, having Tarentino direct could only make the prequels better.
Obi-wan: Did you see a sign out in front of my house that said “Dead Jedi Storage?”
Mace Windew: [pause] No. I didn’t.
Obi-wan: You know WHY you didn’t see that sign?
Mace: Why?
Obi-wan: 'Cause it ain’t there, 'cause storing dead Jedi ain’t my fucking business, that’s why!
I know, but that image popped into my head & it cheered me up so much I had to share.
How about we have the part of the Emperor played by Mr T. - “I pity the Jedi fools”
…not Mace, but still, enjoy…
http://atomfilms.shockwave.com/sw/content/gangsta_rap
D**n you RickJay.
While I loved the original movie, and most of the next two (until the Ewoks, anyway), I’m really not that invested in the series, such that I haven’t even seen the first two movies (that is episode I and II), except snippets.
Yet I’m still going to wake up tonight screaming "No! Say it can’t ever happen! Not Jedi Jar-Jar! Noo! "
It hurts because it’s true… or at least all too possible.
Good Og, RickJay!! You’ve taken my worst nightmare and given details to the darkest corners that I was afraid to go into. Lovecraft ain’t got nothin’ on you!
Lucasfilm could contract out with Henson associates to introduce the replacements for the Ewoks, this race is an offshoot of the Wookies (and is a race the Wookies would rather not talk about, thank you very much, officially they “don’t exist”…) , they take the physical appearance of a Terran bear wearing a hat and, flowery scarf
their special attack mode is telling really bad, groaningly bad jokes
this race is known as…
The Wakkas!
(and just to make sure they have no redeeming qualities, one of their females will fall in love with the Jar-Jar Jedi, thus combining the horrors of Gunganese and really bad jokes…)
(To the tune of “America” from West Side Story.)
Jar-Jar jedi becomes such a great Jedi that Yado suggests that all Jedis should now be called JarJars. Mace Windu says, “Yes, that is only right.” Obi Wan agrees, and Padme/Amidala claps her hands together and jumps up and down, cooing. She falls in love with Jar-Jar, and we know (even though Anakin doesn’t) that the kids are really the all-powerful floppy-eared ones.
Final battle scene fought on the planet of the Fraggles. Kid Anakin inexplicably shows up, kicks Yoda’s behind in a duel while holding his light saber in his mouth.
Vader’s armor is shown to actually be composed of hundred of cute, marketable sentient drones who combine into one mean-fighting machine, each with a frequently-used catchphrase of its own.
George Lucas has an extended cameo as some superJedi from the past who shows up to set things right, only to leave with the helpful words “You must face this threat alone, for I could save you all, but great good can come from the triumph of evil” or some other bogus pseudo-philosophical claptrap. But, as a parting gift, he leaves his trusted assistants, that fat kid from the Internet video and Michael Jackson in his regular clothing. They mysteriously disappear later by themselves and are never seen again.
Oh great, thanks a lot. Now I’ve got this idea in my head of an extended fight/chase between Obi Wan and Vader that leads to a confrontation in an Alderaanian pawnshop, where the owner holds them at gunpoint and then rapes Vader in the back room.
Amidala: Who’s speeder is this?
Obi-wan: Watto’s.
Amidala: Who’s Watto?
Obi-wan: Watto’s blotto, baby. Watto’s blotto.
Vader: Now I’m gonna get some lightsaber wielding sith to come down and get old republic on his ass.
And I can’t wait for the scene where Boba fett ties Jarjar to a chair and starts cutting his ears off…
Amidalia: “You heard that Annikan threw Jar Jar out of a fourth story window because he gave me a foot massage? And that seemed reasonable to you?”
Obi Wan: “No, it seemed excessive, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen…”
Obligatory link to Imperial Dogs site. (It’s too bad the video is down, but you get the idea. Be sure to listen to the songs.)
Which, of course, leads us right into the dance competition at the alien bar…
Dang it, I keep forgetting we’re trying to make Star Wars worse !