I’m no mental health professional, but it does not seem unreasonable that before, when your job was NOT boring - you did not feel a need for as much social interaction/mental stimulation as you do now. Sounds to me like a pretty normal human reaction.
How do/did you spend your personal time? Perhaps you could look for more stimulating uses of your personal time. You might feel better with more constructive activity - go out and exercise, take a class, try a hobby - do something other than sit at home reading/using media.
Have you talked to your friends/family about your situation? Is anything keeping you from being more social/active? And how long you plan on sticking w/ a job you dislike?
Just today, the paper had an article on dysthymia - persistent depressive disorder. So mental health professionals are happy to put that name on a mental state short of clinical depression.
And I’m all for better living through chemistry. While I tend to think you would do well to seek better stimulation yourself - at least as an initial measure, if it makes you feel better to talk w/ a professional, smoke a blunt, or swallow a happy pill - knock yourself out!
At least you could go get some gummies from the local weed shop. If it’s legal in your area. I wouldn’t recommend it as a cure-all. But it might rest your mind and get you into some music or other creative pursuit.
I’ve found most mind altering substances, if you get addicted are a bad thing. A few gummies won’t kill you though.
You need to find out why you’re so needy for human companionship that’s obviously not available to you for some reason.
And I would change jobs as soon as possible. You’re not a good employee if you hate it so bad. It’s not a good fit. Sometimes it happens. Not your fault.
Learn to like your own company. I’m telling you that is the answer.
Maybe I’m an outlier, but during times when I lived alone and wasn’t in a relationship, I really enjoyed myself. Sure, I came home to an empty house, but I could do whatever the heck I wanted.
Go to a bar, drink & read? Loved it. Go to a restaurant for a great meal? Loved it. Stay at home and smoke a few bowls? Loved it.
I did a southern Caribbean cruise solo and never felt lonely, in fact I met and enjoyed the company of a woman in my situation.
When I started working from home at the start of the pandemic, it felt really weird and lonely for at least the first few weeks. I wasn’t actually having a whole lot less social interaction than normal, but I was used to the soft background noises of 30 other people working nearby, and suddenly it was so incredibly quiet all the time. Could that be part of your problem?
I eventually got used to the quiet, and now I prefer working from home. I do find that I have to make more of an effort to get out and be around other people, though. I can’t just rely on my co-workers to provide my minimum daily human contact.
"All of humanity’s problems, stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.”
– Blaise Pascal
I actually liked living alone in my 20s. Sometimes I miss being able to do what I want when I want without having to check in with anyone or argue about how the place should be kept. But I wasn’t just sitting around my apartment for weeks and months at a time cut off from the world. I had some groups of friends I would hang out with, often within walking distance. I went to business school in the evenings. My work had me travel a lot, but usually it was with a team of people and we would tend to go out for dinner and/or drinks together. I’d go to the gym or golf or ski. I was also living outside of Boston and then later in Manhattan, so there’s a lot to do there, even if I want to do something by myself.
Sunday afternoons / evenings often felt kind of lonely. Maybe because most people do family stuff on Sundays and not as many people go out. But it was also kind of nice to have a quiet night of just sitting there watching TV and playing PC games, resting up for work Monday without feeling compelled to go out.
May I ask how old you are? And does your new job pay significantly more than the last job?
It seems as though you are looking for someone other than yourself to tell you how to find meaning and enjoyment out of life. I don’t think. that is how it works for most folk. Try something. If it works for you, keep going. If not, try something else.
Ask someone you speak to about your life frequently if you are lonely. If there is no such person then you are lonely. Why that would be the case is the important part to consider.
I think loneliness is a bit misunderstood. “Get more friends” isn’t really an answer. I’ve experienced consistent loneliness for most of my life, despite having a loving partner and good friends. I’m also an introvert and don’t care for excessive socializing. I can’t explain it but I suspect it’s PTSD related for me. My loneliness is especially intense when my husband is late coming home or I’m doing a lot of solo child care in a day.
I doubt loneliness has one universal cause. And I doubt the approach to addressing it is the same for everyone. What you might do is talk to someone skilled at helping you sort out complicated feelings. If you don’t have a friend like that, then yes, a therapist is a fine choice. You don’t even have to have a mental health disorder to talk things through with a professional so there’s no need for hysterical hand-wringing about Internet diagnoses.
I’m trying to make this not sound mean or overly critical.
You have not given us much information about yourself, but from what you post, you seem to not have the clearest idea of what you want to do with your life, and you do not seem great at assessing your current situation and identifying options.
While these are things most independent adults ought to be able to do, an inability to so does not necessarily indicate a mental health pathology. But since it does seem as though you are limited in your ability to do these things, and because you are not satisfied with your current situation and mindset - by all means, seek assistance wherever you can find it.
Many (most?) people are able to bounce ideas off of their friends and family. You have not indicated why that is not an option for you. Other people might talk to their doctor, a faith provider, an ex-teacher/coach… Other people read self-help books. But if you feel you cannot or don’t want to do that, then sure, see a counselor or therapist.
I’ll offer this, it can be challenging to find a counselor who is right for you. Not all counsellors are fantastic. And it might take some time for the counselor to get up to speed - as opposed to someone who already knows you. Given the level of analysis you have displayed in this thread, finding the right counselor might be a challenge for you.
Sorry to chime in again, but I found myself thinking about the original question. Again, none of this is intended to be mean or insulting.
Is there a reason to doubt your feelings? If you feel lonely, then why presume anything other than that you are likely lonely. Of course, you may experience other feelings in addition to loneliness.
I tend not to have a terribly wide variety and range of emotions. But my wife often comments that her emotions are real - whether or not I share them, or whether or not I personally think they are a reasonable/optimal response to whatever stimuli. Also, people distinguish between primary and secondary emotions. For example, you might feel lonely, but the reason you feel that might actually be because you are bored.
Are you seeking affirmation or confirmation of your feelings? Or are you seeking ways to change those feelings - or be content with them? Those just seem different things to me, and deciding which might inform your choice of actions.