I know all the tips for preventing loneliness—keeping in touch with people, making sure I do activities that reinforce my place in the world, getting out among humans every once in a while. Still, sometimes it happens anyhow.
When it does, how do you deal with it? There’s only so much time I can spend on message boards without feeling even lonelier, and often it happens later on at night when calling people isn’t really an option.
Tips?
I recommend doing something. Read your favorite book, bake a cake or some other fancy dessert (or learn if you don’t know how), watch your favorite movie… There’s really nothing else you can do, except sleep and realize that things will always look better in the morning.
I talked to a professional about this, and he mentioned that, while message boards like this are fun, they really can’t replace actual human interaction psychologically. I’m a terminally shy guy in ‘real life’, so he suggested just hanging out somewhere. For me, it’s a bookshop. I get something good to read, something to drink, and just watch people. I’ll probably never talk to 'em, but seeing other people around in a non-threatening setting -really- helps get rid of my feelings of loneliness. Your milage may vary, but I highly suggest it.
Especially if the place has good hot cocoa. 
I drink.
Kidding (and sorry if I offended).
I…do a lot of reading. And writing. In which my main character, who looks and acts oddly like I, is not lonely.
::shrugs:: It works for a while. Then I cry into my pillow and get up the next morning with a headache. That’s life. I’ve just got to accept that that’s the way it’s going to be for me. You, I’m sure, will not have such problems.
::glances up at post:: I’m such an attention whore. Sorry.
Do you have any pets?
My dog, whom actually has a name, is jokingly referred to as
'My Therapist ’
Pets can be a wonder companion and a great way to meet other people.
I second ArrrMatey’s suggestion. (Great username, by the way.) Getting out of the house when you’re lonely can really help, even if you don’t necessarily talk to people.
Otherwise, if I am staying home and feeling lonely, I find it helps to do something I enjoy. If I’m lonely and just laying on the couch watching bad TV, it makes me feel a lot worse than if I’m reading a good book or playing a fun computer game. Put some music on in the background for noise, have a glass of wine, make yourself a yummy treat (I suggest peanut butter cookies) – these things make a place seem more full.
I don’t think I could live alone for very long. I’d probably have to put an ad in the paper for a roommate. Hmmm…I’ve never lived completely alone. Hmmm…
Mucho masturbation
It just flat out does not bother me and if it did I’d get out and do something about it. My wife left yesterday and won’t be back until Sunday. There are places to go to, people to see and things to do, but just spending the whole time by myself would not be all that bad. Possibly, if I was stuck here alone and no place to go, etc. that may be a different story.
Happy, uplifting music. Or, ridiculously absurd music that will put a smile on your face.
I’ve lived alone ever since college and am usually comfortable being by myself. Every once and a while though I’m hit with a bit of crippeling lonliness. If I’m feeling lonely during the daytime I’ll try and get my butt out of the apartment for a few hours, not necessarily to be around people though. I find it incredibly depressing to be in public/social places like a cafe or a restaurant when I’m feeling lonely, ya know all those other people there with loved ones or whatever having a good time, makes me sick. Just not being home alone makes me feel better, so I’ll go out and do more or less solo activities like biking or (when I lived in Anchorage) out for a nice long hike somewhere really isolated. Actually sometimes I prefer that to seeing people I know it let’s me collect my thoughts and burn off frustrations and energy.
Nightime is the worst for loneliness, my only option tends to be to find a way to distract myself until I’m tired enough to sleep, so I’ll read a book or watcha dvd or something like that until it’s laaaate and I’m tired enough to sleep with out feeling sorry for myself.
Fortunately for me my bouts of loneliness are infrequent and short lived so I don’t go through this more than a couple times a year.
Poorly?
I like to drive when I get lonely. No destination in mind, its just relaxing to drive around, and it gives my hands and feet something to do. I usually get restless when I’m bored/lonely and fidget a lot.
Driving is nice because while you aren’t really interacting with other people, you can still see other people and maybe get a friendly wave or two.
I prefer to be alone, and given my personality, I get to experiance it often.
But my wife seems to like me.
Fagjunk Theology: Not just for sodomite propagandists anymore.
I always thought of it as solitude, a state where I could do whatever I wanted with no one making any demands on me. Yesss.
Before I met Mrs. Lorenzo I had lived alone for 16 years at about 10 different addresses. I honestly believed I would never marry but was okay with that. There were some lonely moments during those “bachelor” years, but then I’d realise I could be riding my bike or taking a walk or reading a book or making something or playing a game on the pc or go see what was going on at the church or go for a ride and then, and this is key, I would choose one and actually do it. You probably don’t do this but I found that the shortest path to loneliness and depression was excessive navel gazing or staring at the four walls for too long.
These days I’m so busy I can’t get a moment of solitude or loneliness to save my life. Tradeoffs.
I wallow. I’ve become an expert, I swear. I can keep myself busy all day long and then at the end of the day… loneliness hits me like a truck. It’s the worst part of my day.
The only thing that saves me is having something to look forward to the next day. and that doesn’t always work.
Too much ofmy poetry is written in that state.
Eight years of fighting it and I haven’t learned anything that effectively works other than enduring until someone comes along to take it away. I hate that. Bleh.
My cat was probably the most help.
I also leave the TV on a lot. I found the sound of people talking soothing.
I also go out for long walks. 5, 10 miles I just walk until I get tired. It gives me lots of time to think about stuff. Books I’ll never write. Movies I’ll never make, that kinda stuff.
Amen.
The SDMB.
Thanks for all the replies.
Just to clarify, I think loneliness is much different from “alone-ness”. There are times when I absolutely want to be alone. I get cranky when I feel that there are too many demands on me, and I just want to kick back and read or whatever.
But then there are times when I am alone, and all I want is another person close by.
And, yes, I guess I handle it poorly at times.