(If you haven’t viisted the “I met a slave recently” thread yet, ya oughtta.)
Many posters said that BDSM is more common than most of us would think. OK, I am willing to be convinced. How common is real full-time BDSM relationships? I will admit many “normal” relationships have an element of control, power and even humilation in it, but they don’t count.
How common are guys dressed up like the Village People and ladies in Miss Kitty costumes (or visa versa)?
I think it’s more common than syphilis fetish, but I have no cite.
“Board Dope Straight Message?”
Oh . . . Sorry—thought this was a dyslexia thread . . .
Why is this in the pit?
Do you realize that 24/7 power exchange relationship need not involve elaborate costumes and names like master and slave?
AND, how common do you THINK they are?
I wouldn’t say that real full-time BDSM relationships are common, but I would say that part-time (people who regularly use aspects of BDSM) relationships are fairly wide spread. I have no cites at this point, but if I come across some stats, I will post them.
Forgive me for being flip, but in this context Archie and Edith Bunker don’t count. Sure he dominates, sure they play power games. That is not what I am asking about.
(And it is an honest question, don;t get snippy.)
I was talking to Steve about the number of gay men here in Jeddah. He reports there is a large percentage. After all, everyone at the party last night was gay. This is a false-norming error.
I know nobody into such a relationship. You may know many. Either of us could just have a (how shall I say this?) strange circle of friends.
I would really like to know about this.
How common is BDSM? Fairly. How common are exclusively-BDSM relationships? Not so.
Of course, some people don’t think what they’re doing qualifies as BDSM. And of course some people are violent during sex and it’s not for the heightened pleasure of the partner (think: spousal abuse).
Spousal abuse is in no way related to BDSM punha, and shouldn’t be lumped in with it.
and Paul, you still haven’t answered as to why this is in the pit.
24/7 BDSM relationships are certainly not as common as plain vanilla, male female or even plain vanilla homosexual relationships, but it’s not the bizarre mental disorder requiring pyschological help that a lot of people in the other thread seem to think it is.
I know D/s relationship in washington D.C> The guy is a handsome, smart, fifty year old construction worker, wears jeans and sweaters, and the woman is a gorgeous, mid thirties business woman. You’d never know their proclivities unless you asked.
An all consuming lifestyle? Probably not very.
An occasional diversion or fantasy? Very very.
I can’t be bothered to look up cites, but Google will set you free.
There in lies the problem. This is not a topic people share very much outside of the BDSM world. Most of my friends are just a cross section of people, but from open discussions, attending events, listening to gossip 
you start to pick up that many people seem to enjoy related activities.
People who aren’t organized practitioners (don’t attend events, have equipment etc) don’t seem to think they’re into bdsm activities.
O! As for why it is here, well I was ready the slave thread and it set me thinking… so I posted.
Paul in Saudi, I think you’ll need to define your terms more precisely if you want better answers. If you’re talking about the relationship described in the other thread, I would suspect those types of relationships are in the minority. But technically, spanking as part of foreplay could be considered BDSM, and I would consider that basically mainstream, if not totally vanilla.
Also, links are good.
Well, I cannot (due to my own ignorance of the subject) better define it.
As I said many people on the other thread were going on and on about how common it is. May I say (from everyone’s comments here) that there is no real way of knowing how common it is?
It is heading toward midnight here. Time for bed, with images of Miss Kitty (from Gunsmoke for you young people) dancing in my head. I will check in on this thread again tomorrow.
I would say the couple described in the thread linked above is a bit unusual in the bdsm world. They would certainly be at the more extreme end of the scale.
I define a practitioner as someone who regularly uses some sort of power exchange. Regularly meaning they’re past experimenting, decided they like it, and will use it again (it becomes part of their norm). A power exchange can be simple things like spanking, verbal humiliation, even pretend bondage, up to the more standard things we associate with bdsm.
At a BDSM event (non-music/goth related) I always notice that the people who look like a stereotypical bondage person (piercings, different hair/makeup, etc) are usually in the great minority. Most of the people look like next door neighbors and soccer moms.
This does seem like a strange discussion for the pit, or maybe not, if you’re into pits.
I’d have to agree with the general direction of the thread here, Paul. I think that many of the aspects of BDSM are fairly common practice in a lot of relationships. A little light spanking, wrestling, power games. As for the relationship described in the the slave thread, not common at all.
If you’d like some links to read about various types of BDSM activities and/or discussions of relationships, recommend the following:
Well, if you’re compiling a poll, here’s mine for the vanilla camp. That said, we are talking pure French bourbon bean Vanilla - the very best and finest, and just as satisfying as Rocky Road or Caramel Peanut Monkey Spank.
Incidentally, according to Saudi nationals and expats who’ve lived in Saudi, adultery as well as all sorts of fetishes are RIFE in your country. From what I can work out, compound life is so bloody boring that apart from home-brewing the only entertainment is swinging. Just what I heard.
I suspect those who are into BDSM are as prone to over-estimate the numbers as those who are not to under-estimate.
Which is perhaps why I think it is rather rare. My WAG would be that it is about as common as homosexuality.
Regards,
Shodan
And we all know how rare homosexuals are.
:rolleyes:
In Toronto, at least, the SDMB “public” scene is several thousand people (in a greater metropolitan area of something like five million people). There are a dozen or so well attended, regularly scheduled events every month. This represents a fair cross-section of the adherents of the lifestyle.
There are numerous Yahoo! Groups devoted to the various [regional] communities around the world; I urge you to investigate one or more of them.