How Common Is Gay Adoption?

What are the statistics for adoption among gay couples? A very large percentage of heterosexual couples end up having kids, so why does it seem to be so rare among gay couples, even with artificial insemination?? If being a father is so great, why aren’t more gay men opting to become parents???

Could it be that the majority of men are NOT interested in having kids, but the heterosexual ones end up doing so because of spousal trickery. “I swear I took the pill every day- I don’t know how this could have happened. And it just so happens that I believe abortion is ‘immoral’, so it looks like we are going to be parents after all. Oh, darn it!

How large is the gay/straight parenthood disparity, and why does it exist?


Well, quite apart from other factors, for a heterosexual couple not afflicted with fertility problems, conceiving a child is fairly easy. (The difficult bits come later.) The very considerable financial, emotional and sometimes physical stress involved in other avenues to childhood - surrogacy, adoption, IVF and other forms of assisted conception - should not be underestimated.

Even for a gay man (or an infertile man) who passionately wants to be a parent, there are very considerable barriers in his way that do not face a fertile straight man with a fertile female partner who shares his desire for a child.

It’s not easy for gay people (singles or couples) to adopt. Some states flat out don’t allow it. Others make it very difficult.

I’m sure someone will be along to post actual numbers. I think it will be a difficult task, though, because gay couples who want to adopt may chose to adopt as a single person, omitting the fact that they’re gay to avoid discrimination.

Your second paragraph doesn’t merit a response in GQ, in my opinion.

I thought I understood what you meant when I read your title, but the complete OP muddies the picture. Do you mean how common is it for two gay males or two lesbians to adopt a child together?

This would be somewhat hard to track because since some states don’t allow “gay adoption” (meaning that two people of the same sex cannot both be named as adoptees) only one of the parties can present themselves as the adopting parent. So you couldn’t really tell from, say, looking at adoption records.

Other kinds of adoptions happen when a domestic partner of a parent adopts the child. When allowed legally, that is.

I think it would be hard to tell, given the barriers to adoption, how many childless gay couples are childless because they don’t want them (or were saved from your scenario of trickery) versus wanting them but are not able or willing to fight the fight required. And how rare is “rare?”

All in all I’d have to say don’t know where you got your second paragraph–bizarre.