Dayum! They weren’t kidding, there’s infections all over that thing! Look at all the little sores and skin chapping off.
Your family member has got a lot of [del]spunk[/del] spud!
Well, the “how” is simple enough to imagine. I’d place 50/50 odds on the following step-by-step instructions:
- Rub erect penis against potato
- OR -
- Insert potato into anus
- Masturbate normally
Straightforward enough. I mean, maybe he holds the potato between his knees and jerks it in a 3/8 rhythm with his left hand while facing Mecca, but Occam’s Razor and all that. As to the “why” of it all, that goes back to “who knows why anyone gets off on anything.” I personally once knew a dude who enjoyed images of women who’d turned into rubber balloon animals inflated to near-popping. (I implore that you do not ask me how I came about this information.)
People are weird.
Also, awesome username/question combo.
Please? Pretty please tell us?
Imploring that someone not ask is like sending a “please ignore that email I just sent” email.
Can we vote? I really don’t want to know how he knows.
I HATE spud!
…catchier than Idaho…and less TMI than Red Bliss…
…and put back? yikes! “Dinner’s ready…!” :eek:
C’mon, nobody threw up in their mouths a little after realizing that at family reunion dinners and possibly the ones for a few days after, everyone in that house had a plate full of the tang of uncle X’s ass…?
“Honey, are these Maine potatoes? Did you use a new recipe? They’re so… different… tonight.”
Good gravy!
The secret is to never russet…
I’m guessing that he likes the feel of potato skin on his boy parts.
This is nowhere near as bizarre as women using a potato to hold up their “fallen womb” and she ends up having an emergency hysterectomy because the thing sprouted inside her. :eek:
My Grandpa’s hamburger helper was suspiciously creamy now that I think about it.
No kidding. I laughed, I cried, I shook my head in wonderment.
Has anyone ever thought of asking the guy what he does with the potatoes? Hmmm? I’d like to know.
He’s having a relationship with Mr. Potatohead.
I’d classify many of the questions raised in this thread to be under the category of “Things man was NOT meant to know.”
The pictures in you head could really motivate you to stick to your low carb diet.
Does he go for yams when he’s looking for strange?
Could this be a screenplay idea for a new Veggie Tale film?
Who’s da ho?!
I da ho!!
I honestly don’t have a clue.
Then again, if you gave me a choice of having sex with Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian or a sack of potatoes - I would chose the potatoes every time. At least you could have an interesting conversation with the potatoes after sex.
This sounds like a scene from a movie like Hang Over or an episode of Jackass.
Some half drunk dumb ass stands up on a table at about 2pm at the local Saint Patty’s Day Celebration/Drunk fest and shouts out “hey, EXACTLY HOW do you masterbate with potatos?”
Hijinks ensue.
Don’t get me wrong. I actually like the Irish and St Pattys day. Hell, my best friend is a potato.
If that is the list of instructions, there is no way that 2 could possibly follow from 1, at least not in the way that “normally” is ordinarily understood.