[bolding mine]
Don’t bet on it.
Not to be contrary but I just asked my wife how she would thought it creepy if, when my daughter was 30, I had given her a friendly squeeze on the butt and she wouldn’t have. I guess it is just a cultural difference, but I agree with my wife. We Ashkenazi Jews are quite physical in showing affection.
Was this as told by an observer? As told by the daughter? As told by the father?
Quite OK. Lots of boundaries I’ll cross in my mind, but never in RL. 
I did the calculations and it seems to me that it’s 87.3% creepy. Someone please check my math.
You forgot to carry the ewww.
Sounds like part of a rather tasteless joke about the father forgetting it was his daughter because both hotel and normally took hookers up to his room = absentmindedly forgetting it was his daughter [or however to describe the rather tasteless joke]
I’m not going to go overboard defending this, but it doesn’t have to be creepy.
My family was affectionate. My father would frequently hug my mother, and usually end the hung with a playful, lite swat on her butt. When my sister got older, he would do the same to her. It was never odd, or sexual, or creepy to me or my family. But when my future wife first saw it, horrified would best describe her reaction.
7 year later? Yep I playfully swat my wife post hug, she views that as loving and affectionate and would ask me what’s wrong if I didn’t.
Now a squeeze would be over the top to me, if indeed it was. But my point is people have different definitions of affection.
In my family, then or now, it wouldn’t be all that odd. We hug, we stand close, we link arms and if someone touches or even squeezes a butt none of us would care. And if someone else wants to take offense I figure the problem is theirs and not ours.
I appreciate all the responses, thank you. The rest of the story:
The two on the elevator where my father and sister. After that incident, she began remembering being sexually abused as a child by Dad. Then she openly accused him of the abuse, and told everyone. He has consistently denied every accusation but one—the elevator incident. He claimed that was a friendly squeeze, no more. A few years later, she sued him. Everyone we knew was pushed or pulled to his side of the dispute, or hers. Either we had Molester Dad or Crazy Liar Sister. It was awful.
I chose to believe Sis, but not having witnessed anything, I occasionally reevaluate my decision. When I do, that elevator incident stands out. It’s the only accused act that occurred when Sis was an adult, and Dad didn’t deny it. I felt that if he could do that, and admit it, then he has some serious boundary issues. Which could be a symptom of other issues.
I suppose I’ll never know. After reading some of the posts here, I suppose there’s a slim chance that it was just a friendly butt squeeze. I doubt it, but I’m I can’t rule it out.
Please keep the responses coming.
That’s terrible. Sorry I started out with a joke.
While I have never, and would never, grab my daughter’s butt, I don’t think it proves the abuse happened. Without knowing more, though, why would your sister lie?
As a dad with a daughter - no, there is no such thing as a “friendly butt squeeze”. This whole topic grosses me out, no fault to you.
But no, no father gives his daughter a “friendly butt squeeze”
As I understand it, the current research states that repressing a traumatic experience to the point of actually forgetting it is more or less impossible. Any claim that somebody “began remembering” something like being sexually abused raises major red flags.
I laughed. No offense taken.
After reading some of the responses above. I have to conclude that you’re wrong. In some families, it’s not seen as sexual.
Make of this what you will.
When Sis made the abuse accusations, part of the reason I believed her was i felt it explained many of her personality traits; ditto for another sister. I suppose some other trauma could explain it.
So even childhood trauma cannot be repressed?
Yes, of course it can. See post #36.
Maybe “began remembering” was not the precisely correct term. Maybe she hadn’t forgotten, but it was not something she thought much about. Abuse victims often put abuse out of their mind, making a conscious effort not to remember. Then something happens to spark the memory, and they finally speak up.
On a scale of 1 to 10, I’d give it a 9.4.