You’re attending a coworkers annual BBQ at his house. While you consider this person a friend, he’s not a particularly close one. In fact, the only time you guys ever hang out outside of work, is at the annual BBQ.
The party has wound down to an end. You’ve had too much to drink and your coworker/friend (we’ll call him John) and his wife insists you stay the night and sleep it off.
During the course of the night, you wake up to your horror, to find that their 15yo daughter has sneaked into your room and has her hand on your crotch, over the pants.
You can’t possibly be serious; YOU FUCKING LEAVE. Call a cab, crawl into a hedge for the night, wait for the cops to pick you up; something, anything to get you out of there. There’s no other reasonable answer to this situation.
I lean toward getting the parents involved immediately.
I’m not sure why the question is about “pedo paranoia” because that’s not really my concern. 15 year olds are very sexual beings, and she’s already too old for this to be about pedophilia anyway. It’s just a legal issue about under age girls.
The reason to get the parents involved is that this behavior seems pretty strange to me. If she’s willing to molest a random stranger, there are some issues there. Maybe they’re innocent issues (she has questions that she’s afraid to ask) and maybe they’re not so innocent (like she’s a victim of abuse* or an abuser herself). But the parents need to know.
Waiting for morning has two problems.
what if she tries something again later in the night? If she strips naked and throws herself at me*, that’s going to be a little hard to explain.
what if I don’t have time for a discreet conversation with the parents? I want to be able to tap on their door, present this in as calm a manner as possible without having her involved directly in the conversation.
But I might also have to say this: To me, the idea of getting drunk and staying at a relative stranger’s house seems far less likely than the odds of getting molested by a teenage girl*. That’s not something I’d ever do. (In fact, I’ve never consumed that much alcohol anywhere.)
All of these references are based on a girlfriend I had in high school who was a victim of abuse living in a group home at the time I knew her. By her own admission, she actually did throw herself sexually at a foster father. Two of the other girls in her group home bragged about having boyfriends over the age of 30 (when they were 15-17).
What if the parents are the ones who’ve been abusing her?
Leaving ASAP is certainly the right decision, but I’m not entirely certain going to the parents is the best idea, especially if you don’t know them well.
Push her away and get the parents involved immediately and with some of the possible outcomes get the hell out of there and call CPS and maybe the police.
That is assuming there is no ridiculous mix-up like her boyfriend is in the next room over and she is blind.
It’s not over the top to think she’s doing something silly on a dare.
It’s also not over the top to think that she may have been abused
At 15 I’d tend to go with something along the lines of stupid and suffering from peer pressure more so than anything else as the initial “blame” for such behaviour.
Well, if the parents are the abusers, I can’t see that talking to them will make much of a difference to the daughter. Abusers don’t really need a reason. Maybe it’s a wake up call that they need to stop.
Beyond that, I have no evidence it is abuse other than pop-psych 101 that says all abusers were abused. (Which, while not exactly wrong, is not as strong a correlation as people like to think.) Even if it was abuse, I don’t know it was the parents. If I tell anybody, I tell the parents first.
For those who talk about calling the cops, what do you expect them to do? The girl groped you while you were asleep. Are you pressing charges against her? I don’t see CPS crashing through the door to rescue her from potential abuse based on such weak evidence.
