I got "felt up" on my way to work this morning...

The strangest thing happened to me this morning. I (a gay guy) was walking from my parking garage to my place of employment at about 7:30am this morning. I normally like to get to work a bit early so I’ll have time to sit out in the outdoor area (weather permitting) in front of my office, writing in my journal, catching up on emails, etc. A rather nice looking Mexican guy, about 40 years old, came up to me and handed me a take-out menu to a nearby deli that had just opened up. He was dressed in cargo shorts, t-shirt and looked very clean and well-groomed. So, I took the menu and said “thank-you”. Then, he started speaking to me in relatively good English. He said he was from Mexico and had been in the USA for about a year. He also said that he had been working at this deli for a few months and they were trying to get more business, hence his early morning menu distribution. He went on to say that I looked familiar to him and he asked where I lived, and I gave him a general idea as to what part of town I lived in. Periodically, during the conversation, he’d give a menu from his stack to a passerby, but he always came back to me to continue the conversation.

Then, the weird part happened. We chatted for a few minutes and he noticed my name tag, which was clipped to my belt loop, slightly to the left and a bit down from my belt buckle. He said, 'oh, you work here", and reached out to grab my ID badge to get a closer look. But, as he was holding my ID badge, he caressed my naughty bits with the same hand that was holding my ID. It wasn’t an innocent graze of my dick, but a very bold, extended rub. I was a bit shocked at how forward he was. I was standing up at the time and started to back up a bit to get away from him. Then, he put his hand on my shoulder and said, 'do you like massages?" and before I could say anything, he started to massage my shoulders. I told him that I felt a bit weird about this whole conversation and his actions and excused myself. But, he kept trying to engage me in a conversation while I was walking away and said, 'I’m just looking for a friend to practice my English with, hope I didn’t offend you…you are very attractive". I’m no prude, I lived in San Francisco for a number of years and was active in the gay community, but I live in a very conservative city now and his actions were a bit odd to me. At the time, I didn’t feel “violated”, but after it was all over, I did feel a bit used. I think this guy was either a sexual predator or slightly mentally “off”, or a mixture of the two.

Except for the general pre-conversation, this all happened within a period of about 30 seconds, and it all seems a blur now. What really scared me was that this guy seemed normal at first, was good-looking and seemed harmless. Another thing that frightens me is that I would have definitely considered a hook up had the situation (and his “too bold actions”) been different, i.e. a gay bar or something.

And to make matters worse, as I was walking away, he said, “Can I come back to see you again on Monday?”. Jeez, the things that happen to me…

I’m sorry this happened to you. Not to downgrade your experience, but I can tell you that this happens to women* all the time*. It’s not fun, is it? At least you won’t be called a lesbian or a bitch if you didn’t like it. I swear, I will be spread out dead in my casket, and some perv will walk up and cop a feel just because he can…

Maybe it’s a cultural thing. My sister while vacationing in Mexico had her breasts grabbed while talking to whom appeared to be at first, friendly locals.

She wound up and punched him in the face breaking his nose, blood every where. Some Americans nearby overheard them in spanish saying they were going to call the police. Thankfully these Americans warned my sister and got her and her friend out of there ASAP.

Sorry it happened, too. But that happens to women all the time, really? I don’t find that kind of behavior even remotely routine.

I’m sorry that happened, rostfrei :frowning: As for the possiblity that he might try again on Monday, is pepper spay legal where you are? Some jerks are put off by just seeing hooked on someone’s belt loop or keyring.

I don’t know anyone who has gotten so blantantly pawed since the 70s, so I don’t think it’s routine these days either.

Sorry to hear that happened to you. Is the area you were sitting a known cruising spot, or near one?

I agree that 1) it happens to women more than we’d like 2) it *could *be a cultural thing (I often find that Israelis are the same way; sorry Alessan) and 3) are you sure he wasn’t a hooker?

Sorry to hear about that. I would’ve punched the guy.

Why on earth do people think it’s ok to touch someone like that without permission?

You have the menu still. I imagine you remember what he looks like. Go to the deli and tell them what he was doing. You don’t have to press charges, but you could at least get his ass fired. He’s giving the business really bad PR, and I doubt that “sexually assaulty” is an image they want to have. Maybe salty, but not assaulty.

Yeah, that’s the part of the story I don’t get. A guy grabs your junk, you pretty much have to hit him.

When I was younger and more attractive, I could count on a physical grab by a stranger, oohh, saaay, six or eight times a year.

Hooting and yelling, but no touching, too often to count.

Sexism isn’t what it once was, but I’m willing to bet horny guys haven’t changed that much since the seventies and eighties.

I agree. It doesn’t happen that often where I reside. I guess it depends where you live.

Edit: I misread the OP’s thread at first.

Really? All the time? Really? :confused:
I think I might have heard about this groping phenomenon if it happened to women “all the time.”
ETA: Gah! Quoted wrong post. Should have been in response to Alice The Goon. Sorry

I am sure I would have noticed if it happens all the time. I see a lot of hooting and hollering, but that’s about it.

It happens. The more time I spend on here, the faster I get at editing my posts within the time frame.

Yeah, I’ve had catcalls and the like. And I’ve had a sexual assault happen and one sort of vaguely questionable event with a guy kind of pointing/touching my chest…but getting physically grabbed seven times a year? I think I’d have to get a bodyguard or something.

Agree with this. Call the company and let them know that, while he’s passing out menus, he’s molesting their potential clients.

If you commute on the train or bus, it probably happened more than you know. That’s where most of my illegal use of hands stuff happened. Guy sits right next to you on an almost empty train car and leans over just a little bit? Maybe puts his arm along the back of your seat?

Guy sits next to you in nearly empty movie house. You notice the coat in his lap is moving funny. That sort of thing.

Maybe you’re just not very observant of your surroundings. Or you just refuse to believe that women still have to put up with this sort of stuff. :dubious:



Personal experience, Too Many Cats said “my illegal use of hands” : )