How did you learn about sex?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
41

My mother was very honest with me about sex, in fact, quite a bit more honest than I ever would have wanted her to be. One time when I was twelve I went to my mother and step-father’s room to ask a question. Door was locked so I rapped lightly on it and heard Mom’s voice voice from inside:

Mom: Yes?
Me: Sorry, did I wake you up?
Mom: No. What is it, hon?
Me: Is dinner done?
Mom: It has been for a while, hon. It’s on the stove.
Me: Ok, thanks.
(pause)
Me: Mom?
Mom: (slightly exasperated now) Yes?
Me: What are you doing?
Mom: Use your imagination!

And I haven’t used it to that purpose since. Once was way more than enough. The weird thing is, despite this open honesty, I didn’t learn about it from Mom or Dad. I learned it from my friends. Which probably was the best idea. My friend drew a picture for me, with a naked boy and girl standing side by side. Then he drew a dotted line from the boy’s penis to the girl’s vagina, with no other explanation other than “This is what makes you a man”. I thought that the boy was supposed to pee into the girl’s vagina. I really wanted to be a man, so I suggested it to a girl. It didn’t go over so well.

42

Hmmmm, on second thought, maybe learning from my friends wasn’t the best idea.

43

You mean, information that actually bore any fleeting resemblance to reality? My mom never sat down and had “the Talk” with me (nor Dad-- Parents separated), but she did leave some of those pamphlets about “the changes in your body” lying around when I was about 11 or 12. In retrospect, that was when I had my first crush on a girl, and I had told Mom about it, so maybe that’s how she figured the timing. I imagine that this is how I’ll handle it with my kids, when I have any, too… I somehow suspect that I’ll be too chicken when the time comes.

Before then, I knew that boys were “convex” and girls were “concave” and that the pieces fit together, that there was something married folks did called “sex”, and that there was something parents did to become parents, but I don’t know when I figured out that they were all the same thing.

44

Believe it or not, I was sick at home on the day our sixth-grade biology class learned about intercourse.

The next day, I was riding the school bus when my friend, Mayu, told me what juicy bit of knowledge I had missed out on. “They taught us how people have sex!!!” OOOOOhhhhh, so of course I pleaded and begged her to tell me. Finally, in between fits of giggles, she told me.

My first reaction was, “OHMYGAWD how can you do that with those soft dangly things?!?!?!” Apparently they hadn’t mentioned the part in class about erections!!!

45

I had the usual sex ed class, but it was more a source of titters than useful information for the most part. By then I had seen a couple porno mags and put two and two together, in terms of theory. My parents were no help. They were far too uptight to even adress the subject with me until I was 17 (3 years late). The important stuff (technique, etc.) I learned the way many do: on the job training. Good for sex, not recommended for airline pilots.

46

When I was 10 or 11, I read this really dirty story about a man who’s daughters get him drunk and sleep with him so they can have kids. Exactly what goes on under the sheets was easy to figure out from the simple anatomy of it. Oh, yeah, the dirty book that I was reading at such a young age?
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The Book of Genesis (specifically the story of Lot and his daughters)

47

I was eight years old, and my parents informed me that I was going to be an uncle. I asked what that meant. After all, the only uncle I had ever known had been one for as long as I could remember. I thought he was born that way ;). They explained my sister Kaye was going to have a baby. I didn’t ask for details.

A few days later, upon arriving home from school, I found a book on the kitchen table about how baby animals were made and (being the little bookworm I was) I read it cover-to-cover. It wasn’t until many years later that I figured out that my folks put that book there for me to find. I just remembered thinking to myself that this was one subject grandma probably wouldn’t feel too comfortable talking about.

Almost everything I learned about sex (apart from the practical aspect) I learned from reading about it. At one time, I could’ve told you what Dewey decimal code to look under.

I never discussed sex with my parents until I had been an adult for many years. Whenever I asked about innocuous things like “How does an airplane fly” or “Who invented the submarine” my mom or dad would always tell me to go look it up. I figured that my folks probably knew nothing about this “sex” stuff (they only had FOUR KIDS!), and confined my inquiries to the library.

At age fourteen, I was deeply shocked to discover that my parents were still “doing it” (my sister told me). My reaction (not spoken): “EEEEEEeeeeeeeeewwwwww! But they’re OLD PEOPLE!” Of course, now that I’m in my mid-40s, I am “old people” (more-or-less) and I can rest assured that there’s at least one activity I can continue to enjoy until I’m too feeble to move :D.

Years later, I discovered that my parents had been patiently waiting for me to start asking questions. I just never asked (you’d think they’dve shown a bit more initiative, wouldn’t you?). My sisters had many uplifting discussions with my mom regarding the topic while they were growing up. Apparently my parents, having raised three inquisitive females who asked about this subject whenever they had a question, figured I’d ask when I got curious. Of course, I don’t think my sisters pelted my folks with so many questions that they were trained by an early age to not bother asking questions and just go look it up for themselves.

I think I’m going to have to remember to bring the subject up with my son, from time to time, just to be certain he knows that:

[ul]A) He can ask dad about anything.

and

B) If dad doesn’t know, he’ll go look it up :D.[/ul]

~~Baloo

48

I learned aaaall about it in Grade 9 Human Development class…

Wait, check that. I learned aaaall about STRAIGHT sex in Grade 9.

For the stuff which actually was going to make up my sex life, I had to wait until I got the Internet so I could look at porno and erotic stories.

Mmmm. Porno.

49

My friend’s mom gave her a 500 page book, a legal pad, and a few pens. She said “read this cover to cover, and if you have questions write them down and we’ll discuss it.” My friend said she had no questions because that book covered everything with full colored pictures.
Another friend of mine, NEVER got the sex talk, not even an awkward resemblence of one. He had to get online and look up porn etc etc starting when he was 14 to figure things out. He only recently had all of his questions answered, he’s now 20.
I think it’s really sad that some parents can’t just be open about sex.

50

I was left alone with big fat Fanny. She was such a naughty nanny.

51

Yep. That’s how I learned, too.

52

A warning to Dopers with kids.

They CAN hear you, even if they’re on the other side of the wall with all the doors closed. And never ever assume the kid’s asleep and then start if you’re in the same room. I lost a lot of sleep in my pre-adolescence because I was cringing with my fingers in my ears.

I learned from my parents, but we’ve never talked about the subject at all.

I got a series of books, the sixth of which my mother wouldn’t let me read. I did, and couldn’t figure out what was so bad about it. It certainly didn’t answer any of my questions.

53

I was six when my neighbor (a 7 yo) told me. I didn’t believe her and told her that her older brothers were just trying to scare her. Of course, it didn’t stop me from repeating the story. :smiley:

Cut to Christmas that year: My parents put “Where Did I Come From?” into my stocking. They took a picture of me in my pajamas with my jaw on the floor. Hysterical.

Later I even received a copy of “What’s Happenning to Me?” It’s an adolescent follow-up to “Where Did I Come From?” I remember being very confused by the chapter on circumcision.

54

I was a precocious kid (long before all the illicit drugs took their tolls, leaving you with the semi-coherent fool before you now), and had pretty much figured it all out on my own by age 6 at the latest. Dad’s penthouses helped.

Well, the one time that my Dad tried to give me “The Talk” will live in my memory as the absolute most silly thing I’ve ever heard or seen.

We head off to the barber shop together on a saturday morning. I might have been 11. Dad’s stewed to the gills already. Mom dropped us off on the corner, while waiting for the shop to open. Dad had a beer in hand, and was almost staggering.

We sit down next to a wall, and wait. Dad says to me. “Son, I’m gonna tell you about sex now.”

Fine, I figure. “Okay,” I say to him. Never in a million years could I have been prepared for what he says next:

“Son, pussy is the best thing in the world, and you should get as much of it as you can.” I remember this as if it were a few minutes ago, I was so shocked.

No talk about safe sex, no talk about the worries of an unwanted pregnancy, just a “Go out and get laid a LOT!”

This was, in retrospect, from the man who used to tell me, his child, stories about prostitutes in the Phillipines and various other countries.

55

BWAAHAHAHAHAHAH! HAHAHAHAHAH! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! I’m…sorry…Mr.C…BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Thats just so funny to read…" son, i wanna tell you about sex"…'Pussy rocks-get some!" I mean,…after all the buildup we are all used to about “the talk”…I’m sorry. Really. It just hit me in a very funny way. Please tell me you took no offense here.

56

NO prob at all, Dave. I was actually hoping that you folks would find it funny, it happens to be one of my favorite stories to tell at beer parties.

57

If I’d a waited that long I woulda won an award for “Oldest Virgin.”

58

I think I was about 9 years old and my parents and I were at a motel once. While they were out getting something from a local market, I was watching TV and I turned to a channel and I couldn’t quite make out what was happening. Then it zoomed out and I saw a man on top of a woman. I was shocked.

Some years later, my dad called me to the living room and said, “If you are going to get a girl pregnant, you will marry her” and that pretty much ended the “birds and bees” talk.

59

::quoting self::
Zookeeper! Zookeeper! Those monkeys are killing each other!
::quoting self::

Hmm… TECHNICALLY, that’s how I learned… :smiley:

Realistically, I think I figured it out myself from my uncle’s porno mags and my dad’s “erotic massage” book. Sadly, said massage book was the ONLY porno in this house until I was about 17 or so… damn! So many good years of wanking wasted!

–Tim

60

Where the hell is my post? Geez. All the funny stuff of puberty girl and menopausal mom and it didn’t get in. Hmmmmm.