How did you overcome a psychological problem?

[PeskiPiksi]

For me it was a combo of medication, family support, self-awareness, and honesty with others.

There’s a thread on here somewhere that I posted not long ago after my son was born. I had horrible post-partum depression and anxiety and was begging anyone and everyone for help. Thankfully, I had been through a depressive episode before, and had also helped my husband through his dealings with bipolar II. I had educated myself beforehand, so I knew *intellectually *what was happening. It didn’t make me feel better, but it enabled me to ask for the help I knew I needed.

That’s where the honesty came in. It was incredibly hard, but I went to my husband and confessed that I was having suicidal thoughts. Understand, I was not going to commit suicide because I knew my children needed me and that my family loved me and I didn’t want to hurt them like that. But at the time, death seemed the only way I was ever going to get any relief from the pain I was in. That’s a scary thing to tell anyone!

But it worked. My husband immediately called in the rest of my family to take the kids for us, and he then took me to the emergency room. I got help. I got new medication which finally started working. And until it did, my family, especially my husband, basically babied me back to health. They let me sleep as much as I wanted, I didn’t have to face anything that upset me, they even paid to have someone come in and nanny for the kids in the mornings, when I was at my worst. I never could have made it through without their support and understanding.

And now, a very short four months later, I’m perfectly mentally healthy again. I love my life, I love my kids, I love waking up in the morning (well, except when the baby is up all night, but you know what I mean!). For me, it really was all chemical, and once I got that fixed, I was all good.

Something interesting my psychiatrist told me at our last session (and I’m probably not going to get these numbers exactly right, but you get the gist): People who have experienced one episode of depression are 50% more likely to experience another. People who have had two episodes are about 90% more likely to have a third. And once you’ve had a third, it’s almost 100% to have more. This was my third, so he says I’ll probably have to stay on medication for the rest of my life. Which, if it prevents me going to that dark place again, I’ll do it. Also, he says usually each episode gets worse in severity, which is certainly true in my case.

I’m also done having children. My husband and I, before my son was born, had discussed having three and decided we would decide later. But no way am I going through that again. I’ve got a girl and a boy, a complete set, and I’m happy to stop there!

[Shawn_K_1]

@Superhal

No. You have to have a trained professional help you, either a psychologist or a psychiatrist. Online, just about the only thing useful are self-tests to diagnose depression. However, those tests will also mis-diagnose schizophrenia or manic depression, which are far more serious and life-threatening.

@Lakai

An online resource isn’t going to shovel through your self serving BS - which many people here have mentioned is a big hurdle in overcoming your issues.

The best online advice from an article usually isn’t pleasant and the article can’t push you into following it. You need a live person to do that.

I’ve wasted countless hours reading articles that I never followed. I’ve always found a way to rationalize not following advice that would cause me to do unpleasant things. When I talked with my therapist she basically gave me advice I heard before, but she also dealt with how I rationalized not following it. It was only after I realized how I was lying to myself that I could begin to make progress.

Is your local therapist - with the three month waiting period - the only therapist around? Make an appointment with him, and in the meantime, search for another therapist and read all the articles you want.

Good to know, thanks.

Next closest psychiatrists are an hour drive away, which isn’t bad but makes it hard to keep it kind of private.

Although I do realize I should just do it and not care if other people have an issue with it but it’s something I’d like to keep at least somewhat private.

[Really_Not_All_That_Bright]

Beer.

[Spice_Weasel]

@Shawn_K_1

Good to know, thanks.

Next closest psychiatrists are an hour drive away, which isn’t bad but makes it hard to keep it kind of private.

Although I do realize I should just do it and not care if other people have an issue with it but it’s something I’d like to keep at least somewhat private.

I know you said, ‘‘other than self-help books,’’ but that book I linked to, Overcoming Depression One Step at a Time, has been proven, through controlled experiment, to work about equally as effectively as standard CBT therapy with a trained professional.

That is one of the sad things about psychology today. We’ve gotten to the point in the depression/anxiety research literature where there is increasing evidence that a $15 book or a trained person with a Bachelor’s degree can do the same job as an expensive therapist, and yet, we still have masses of psychologists incredibly resistant to the idea of CBT. Perhaps because it makes them feel obsolete? Either way, it’s a moral travesty.

[Spice_Weasel]

@Tamerlane

I used to have a slight phobia about touching insects.

So I took a course in entomology - problem cured :).

Classic exposure therapy.

[Autolycus]

@PeskiPiksi

Something interesting my psychiatrist told me at our last session (and I’m probably not going to get these numbers exactly right, but you get the gist): People who have experienced one episode of depression are 50% more likely to experience another. People who have had two episodes are about 90% more likely to have a third. And once you’ve had a third, it’s almost 100% to have more. This was my third, so he says I’ll probably have to stay on medication for the rest of my life.

I too have hard this psych. nugget bandied around by more than a few therapists, but every time it arouses suspicion in me. It seems like it makes sense, but it also sounds like a great way to get somebody needlessly hooked on SSRIs or w/e. I’ve had depression a few times, but now I’m med-free and have been fine for a year now. I didn’t have any major trauma to work through, but there were some things that were definitely contributing. Meds helped, but I definitely don’t need to be on them for life. Anyway… this is all just anecdotal, and this question really deserves its own thread.

[Perciful]

@Autolycus

I too have hard this psych. nugget bandied around by more than a few therapists, but every time it arouses suspicion in me. It seems like it makes sense, but it also sounds like a great way to get somebody needlessly hooked on SSRIs.

I was in The Yohimbine study at Yale and I don’t and will never make enough Seratonin. This was the beginning of SSRI’s as we know it. Depression is in my family and it gets passed down. I don’t take it personally. I have high cholestrol too and manage that with a Statin. I can try and go off SSRI’s but I will at some point crash as my body doesn’t make enough of it.

Not everyone has this kind of early onset major depression and only a good shrink should evaluate you. I had three months of daily blood work and UA’S for this to show up in the study. I would not take an SSRI longterm unless it was suggested.

[Autolycus]

@Perciful

I was in The Yohimbine study at Yale and I don’t and will never make enough Seratonin. . . . I would not take an SSRI longterm unless it was suggested.

I’m not doubting your experience or the legitimacy of medicine for you. I’m doubting the veracity of that “3 or more times and it’s guaranteed to happen again” saying that I’ve heard before.

[Crowbar_of_Irony_3]

You can never really overcome, as some of other posters have mentioned, but keep it controlled and managed. There are two aspects to psychological problems - the physical, and the thinking. You can’t change your thinking, or have your thinking matters too much, when you are physcially in a bad shape.

That would mean sleep, diet and the chemistry in brain. I have generalized anxiety and social anxiety, which chemistry I was told is not difficult to fix. Manic depression and others could be harder.

The other half of the problem is to the thinking part, which I believe could be futile to change at times. We all have our filters and lenses in viewing the world, and they are deeply ingrained. Somehow it seems that being prone to depression chemically makes those filters even harder to change.

I would never believe that the person who is watching me swim is not laughing behind my back, but I have to overcome that impluse and use logic and common sense to prevent me from acting in a crazy manner.

Guess that will be the way it is for some time to come.

[Superhal]

@olivesmarch4th

I know you said, ‘‘other than self-help books,’’ but that book I linked to, Overcoming Depression One Step at a Time, has been proven, through controlled experiment, to work about equally as effectively as standard CBT therapy with a trained professional.

That is one of the sad things about psychology today. We’ve gotten to the point in the depression/anxiety research literature where there is increasing evidence that a $15 book or a trained person with a Bachelor’s degree can do the same job as an expensive therapist, and yet, we still have masses of psychologists incredibly resistant to the idea of CBT. Perhaps because it makes them feel obsolete? Either way, it’s a moral travesty.

I’d like to add here that even if the treatment is available from other sources, you still need an accurate diagnosis.

[Serenata67]

@Superhal

Therapy, medication, and honesty. Honesty is most important. If you cannot honestly look at yourself and accept your weaknesses, you can’t beat depression.

Yep, yep and yep.

I haven’t totally beaten my Bipolar or my OCD, but they’re under control, through these three things.

[Spice_Weasel]

@Autolycus

I too have hard this psych. nugget bandied around by more than a few therapists, but every time it arouses suspicion in me. It seems like it makes sense, but it also sounds like a great way to get somebody needlessly hooked on SSRIs or w/e. I’ve had depression a few times, but now I’m med-free and have been fine for a year now. I didn’t have any major trauma to work through, but there were some things that were definitely contributing. Meds helped, but I definitely don’t need to be on them for life. Anyway… this is all just anecdotal, and this question really deserves its own thread.

It makes sense though doesn’t it? If we accept that the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior, and acknowledge that depression is very much perpetuated by the way the afflicted person behaves, it’s not hard to understand why depression is an easy ‘‘habit’’ to get into.

[Autolycus]

It makes some sense yes, but it’s the ironclad guarantee part that bugs me. People change.

[Spice_Weasel]

@Autolycus

It makes some sense yes, but it’s the ironclad guarantee part that bugs me. People change.

Absolutely. (I have no idea what the statistic is–100% seems far-fetched. But the general trend of increasing probability most likely holds.)

[Sunspace]

Olivesmarch4th, your post (#8) is amazing. I have got to get that book. (And it has a workbook too?) I’m here in this little town on a make-or-break summer, and so far it looks more like break than make because I still can’t shake the old negative thoughts.

I’m terrified of emailing or calling businesspeople and disagreeing with them until we work out a solution (or not). And yet whenever I do talk to them, 99% of the time it’s okay. This is the kind of thing that my brain is driving me crazy with. And I’m a long way from the therapists who got me this far, and I’m ready to try something different.

Olivesmarch4th, I’m trying to imagine what it would be like to have come from where you were and to have your successes. It’s inspirational to hear your story.

[Spice_Weasel]

@Sunspace

Olivesmarch4th, your post (#8) is amazing. I have got to get that book. (And it has a workbook too?) I’m here in this little town on a make-or-break summer, and so far it looks more like break than make because I still can’t shake the old negative thoughts.

I’m terrified of emailing or calling businesspeople and disagreeing with them until we work out a solution (or not). And yet whenever I do talk to them, 99% of the time it’s okay. This is the kind of thing that my brain is driving me crazy with. And I’m a long way from the therapists who got me this far, and I’m ready to try something different.

Olivesmarch4th, I’m trying to imagine what it would be like to have come from where you were and to have your successes. It’s inspirational to hear your story.

Sunspace, your words really mean more than you could know. I try to be honest about my own experiences because that’s part of how I find meaning in my own struggle – by trying to give others hope and raising general social consciousness about this issue.

There was a point in my life where I honestly didn’t believe overcoming this was possible. I thought that was going to be my life forever. I thought I was going to end up on permanent disability or something. I had zero self-efficacy, no confidence in my ability to succeed.

And when I first started getting better, I remember one day my husband came home and I just broke down and sobbed in his arms for a half hour straight. I’ve never in my life cried like that. It was relief and grief, but it was also blind terror at the thought of ever going back. I said, ‘‘I can never go through that again.’’ And I think the memory of how miserable I once was has helped keep me motivated to stay healthy. Any time I now have the impulse to do something self-destructive, I think, ‘‘Well, that really wouldn’t make the situation better, would it? No, I think not.’’

The book in question is a workbook. It’s on Amazon for $15. I know I’ve been pimping it out hard-core lately on the Dope, but it’s a really good book based on the latest clinical research. There is really nothing to lose by trying it.

[Sunspace]

@olivesmarch4th

Sunspace, your words really mean more than you could know. I try to be honest about my own experiences because that’s part of how I find meaning in my own struggle – by trying to give others hope and raising general social consciousness about this issue.

Thank you for what you write.

@olivesmarch4th

There was a point in my life where I honestly didn’t believe overcoming this was possible. I thought that was going to be my life forever. I thought I was going to end up on permanent disability or something. I had zero self-efficacy, no confidence in my ability to succeed.

That’s basically where I am. Zero self-efficacy. I still feel like I’m tiptoeing across broken glass whenever I try to do any of this ‘advanced’ social stuff. You know, the stuff that most people seem to take as trivial and normal. At least that’s the impression I get.

I have not yet reached a place where I can be said to be ‘flourishing’. That’s my next long-term goal, I think.

I read your tales of the love of your husband, and I wonder whether it would ever be possible to find something like that in my own life. Certainly I don’t think it’s likely; most women my age (46) are married and there’s not a lot of choice out there. But it’s possible. The guy who runs the bookstore in town is my age or older and he just hooked up with an old sweetheart.

But having to learn social skills for myself at a later age meant I didn’t have them earlier in the critical high-school and public-school years, and my mindset is still shaped by the shame and fear from those days. Even now, I spend half my days in fear. I need to unlearn many things, many habits.

This is why that book The Brain That Changes Itself was so interesting to me. It talks about how habits and tendencies of thought are patterns in the brain and are actually physically reinforced by being rethought.

Which explains why habits are so hard to kick: you literally have to think in a new and different way, which is more difficult than the old easy way. And that’s why my repeated negative thoughts of unworthiness and shame are so easy. Because they are repeated. My counselor startled me once by suggesting that we are not prisoners of our emotions, that emotions are also thoughts that can be managed. I always thought of emotions as being like the weather: something that you can’t really do much about and must therefore endure. But after years of exhasting negative emotions, I want a change.

It’s time to take charge of my brain. So I’m going to order that book you suggested.

@olivesmarch4th

And when I first started getting better, I remember one day my husband came home and I just broke down and sobbed in his arms for a half hour straight. I’ve never in my life cried like that. It was relief and grief, but it was also blind terror at the thought of ever going back. I said, ‘‘I can never go through that again.’’ And I think the memory of how miserable I once was has helped keep me motivated to stay healthy. Any time I now have the impulse to do something self-destructive, I think, ‘‘Well, that really wouldn’t make the situation better, would it? No, I think not.’’

The book in question is a workbook. It’s on Amazon for $15. I know I’ve been pimping it out hard-core lately on the Dope, but it’s a really good book based on the latest clinical research. There is really nothing to lose by trying it.

[Autolycus]

@olivesmarch4th

Absolutely. (I have no idea what the statistic is–100% seems far-fetched. But the general trend of increasing probability most likely holds.)

Indeed I’m sure the general trend does. It’s the way the nigh-100% figure gets parlayed into the psychiatrist saying “so that automatically means you need SSRIs, for life, which I can conveniently refer you for. Oh, you’ll need to see me once a month (at least) for the duration too.” I’ve had a psych doctor pull this on me, and I swear you could see him quiver with anticipation at the increase in business… Not slamming the general truth of that quote, psychiatrists, or psychoactive meds in general. I’ve had great luck with all 3, haha.

Anyway, nice exchange between you and Sunspace. It’s nice to see this place bring people together.

[Superhal]

@Autolycus

Indeed I’m sure the general trend does. It’s the way the nigh-100% figure gets parlayed into the psychiatrist saying “so that automatically means you need SSRIs, for life, which I can conveniently refer you for. Oh, you’ll need to see me once a month (at least) for the duration too.” I’ve had a psych doctor pull this on me, and I swear you could see him quiver with anticipation at the increase in business… Not slamming the general truth of that quote, psychiatrists, or psychoactive meds in general. I’ve had great luck with all 3, haha.

Finding a good doctor takes effort. I’ve had to change doctors a few times in my life, and I was never satisfied on the first try. The last doctor misdiagnosed me, I’m probably not likely to see him again.

[even_sven]

@olivesmarch4th

It makes sense though doesn’t it? If we accept that the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior, and acknowledge that depression is very much perpetuated by the way the afflicted person behaves, it’s not hard to understand why depression is an easy ‘‘habit’’ to get into.

Perhaps that is true if you just wait your way through the depression and don’t actually work on the issues.

I experienced a major round of depression six years ago that was a real doozy. I lost around a year to it and dug myself into a pretty deep hole. I’m surprised I graduated college. For personal reasons, I did not want to use medication to treat it- something I got a lot of shit about on the Dope at the time. After a year of agony, I decided to get better and I kicked my own ass to get out of it, and amazingly it worked. By far it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but I think I got some lasting coping skills out of it. My life since then has been fabulous.

Recently, depression came around for me again. This time, I knew what it was and I knew how to deal with it. I was in bad shape- but nowhere near as bad as I was before- for around six months. As soon as I got it together enough to realize what was happening, I put an end to it. Shockingly, the change was almost immediate. Within a couple of weeks of saying “all right, enough of this bullshit” my thinking changed completely.

I’m sure depression will try again to claim it’s share, but I’m stronger and smarter each time.