Coming from a wildly dysfunctional family, several of whom became addicted to prescription drugs - prescribed by therapists, I approached my own problems with a huge resistance to therapists and drug therapies. I just wasn’t really willing to take that risk.
I discovered not all people who can provide you with ‘therapy’ are therapists. Duh!:smack:
I learned several small, seemingly insignificant tricks, that helped to change both my thinking and my ways. I was aware, if I was having difficulty doing one of the prescribed ‘little tricks’, there was a reason, it was probably working some change on me. Resistance, forgetting, were all ways of my subconscious trying to defeat me. I wasn’t having that, it just steeled my determination. I learned that enormous change can be achieved by the very tiniest of steps. I never looked back.
I think, for myself, one of the most import things I learned to do was actually give myself permission to be who I wanted to be. Sounds funny, huh? I know, it sounded ridiculous to me. I was taught to tie each of these tricks to a physical action, no matter how small. So I used pouring my morning tea, and I would say, out loud, “I give myself permission to be freaking awesome today!” 
Yes, I am aware of exactly how silly that sounds, believe me. I felt an idiot when I started doing it. And I would forget, again and again. (Self sabotage, but I persisted, I’m nothing if not hard headed, believe me!) Once I got in the habit, I have to say, this made changes in my life that are difficult to describe. How I thought, how I felt, how I reacted. Yes, small but significant changes that led me to a much better place. As I got healthier it got easier to make better choices, avoid disasters, conflict, old patterns.
So often, what stands in our way, in life, is us. Especially true for people from dysfunctional upbringings. So why not give yourself permission, every morning to be the things you want? It is important that this permission not be a negative. “Stop being a jerk”, “don’t be an idiot”, that’s all wrong.
I still use this little trick, many years later, if I’m facing a trying day. “I give myself permission to be…” nothing but calm today, sweet and pleasant to everyone, happy and cheerful regardless, -what ever I think the day might lack. I use it a lot less often, but only because it became my habit and, truly, I don’t need it as much as I once did.
I don’t often share this with people, in real life, because it just sounds so silly. I’m afraid they’ll think I also believe in unicorns or something.:eek: This little tiny trick led to significant change in my life, I have to say. To the degree that, people are often surprised, to learn of the sort of chaos I was raised with.
I encourage you to give it a try. It costs nothing, what’s to lose? Be forewarned though, that, in practice, if you really need it, it’s not as easy as it sounds!
Not sure this is what you had in mind, hope it helps, good luck!
