In some states, anybody can be deputized for a day to perform the marriage ceremony. I know one nonreligious couple who had a friend be the officiant: they wrote the ceremony themselves and were married in a glade. In other states no officiant is necessary: the couple can marry themselves. It’s called a Self-Uniting Marriage License.
Note that sea captains don’t by default have the power to marry people. They can, however, get that power by becoming ordained ministers (which pretty much anyone can do these days).
The Master weighs in.
Ah, right. I should guessed your age from your opening post. :rolleyes: So you’ve never watched TV or seen a movie, I’m guessing?
This is what we did. We’re atheist UUs. We were married by an atheist UU minister in my parents’ backyard. The only person who was “offended” was my grandmother. My father left the Catholic Church back in the 60s and my mom was raised a Baptist but isn’t religious. The only exposure to church I had as a kid was the occasional drop-off at the Baptist Sunday School (but not the actual service - my parents thought that was a bit much). Bizarrely, my grandmother was shocked that I wasn’t marrying a Catholic in a church ceremony. My mom found that very amusing.
First marriage, by a minister who was a family friend. He asked if he could mention god and we said sure, go for it.
Second marriage, in Vegas. I can’t remember if he mentioned god. It doesn’t matter to me.
Except my UU minister - who won’t perform marriage while there is no marriage equality. We can use the church, but have to bring in a JP or another minister or someone from the Church of Bob.
I’m hoping marriage equality passes - not only to I believe its just - I want my atheist/agnostic kids to get married in the Church 
Yes, I have watched movies and TV programs that feature weddings, even though I quickly assume that the weddings are Western-styled or Christian-styled. A wedding in Africa or the Muslim Middle East or Hindu wedding or Chinese wedding would probably not wear white or have a priest conduct the ceremony. I assume that there are atheists around the world, so why should I conclude that atheists only follow a traditional “Western” wedding unless atheists are concentrated in the West? I assume that the Western wedding is latently a Christian wedding, and therefore I tend to also assume that the bride and groom are both Christian (or Jewish, since Jews wear white too in their weddings). Because of all this, I sometimes wonder if it is possible for atheists to marry without the Christian references. I remember I have read my former Spanish textbook about Latino culture, and it appears that Latino culture is very similar to mine, American culture. The textbook specifically states what the veil and the dress symbolize, and it felt very similar to Christianity (after all, Latin America is mostly influenced by Spain and Portugal, which were both very Catholic once upon a time), so I have always thought that Christians celebrate with a Christian wedding while Atheists would probably celebrate with an Atheist wedding. I find it quite fascinating that atheists can actually borrow what I perceive to be remnants of a Christian marriage into their own sort of culture – a secular culture. Perhaps, although one can remove oneself from belief in a god, one may find difficulty in removing oneself from one’s own culture, especially if that culture has deep roots in religion.
That’s what we did. Had my favorite local judge perform the ceremony.
Our minister just won’t sign the license. He’ll do the whole ceremony at the fellowship, but then you have to go and get officially married at the Courthouse. Certainly, by the time your kids are ready to get married, it won’t be an issue. Certainly.
I was married by the mayor of the village my wife and I were living in. She (the mayor) was a member of the Hungarian Socialist Party so as a bonus, our officiant was an atheist and a communist.
We got married at the courthouse in Luray, Virginia.
I think you need to factor in that there are some atheists who are simply indifferent to religion. Some atheists feel very strongly that there should be no mention of gods or sons of gods or saints or demons in any of their doings. Other atheists really don’t give a rat’s ass. I could have been married in a synagogue, mosque, temple, treehouse, animal shelter, or scrapyard and it would have made no difference. What mattered was that there was a building with a person inside willing to sign a scrap of paper that would force the government to recognize our union. That our mothers were pleased by the type of building and the type of person and the actual words spoken was just a fringe benefit.
Besides, it was cheaper than going to the courthouse.
As I understand it, the “other dude” does not decide you are married. He (or she) is merely a witness to the decision by you and your spouse to get married.
Having a witness is necessary so that neither you or your spouse could ever deny that you had both consented to marriage. Saves a lot of trouble that way.
Good point. I would have thought that atheists would refrain from using religious references, when it would conflict with their views. However, you have brought up a good point that some atheists could marry in whatever place, and religion in general wouldn’t really bother them much. The “fringe benefit” and “our mothers”, I think, highlight that marriage may be thought of by older generations as being a familial or religious affair.
We sign a piece of paper, then you are married.
The ceremony could be anything from nothing to a full blown Latin Mass. Depends on parental expectations, tradition and all that stuff.
Were you at my wedding? Because this is exactly what we did. In California, you can become a “Deputy Commissioner of Marriages” for purposes of one wedding by filling out a form and sending in $50, I think. Other states have other rules - I know in Massachusetts you had to get the governor to authorize it, although permission was routinely granted.
We got married outdoors, at a reception site. It was absolutely lovely.
True, although we are probably about the age you would think of as an “older generation” (in our 50s now). I think our mothers were more comforted by a tradition of their time than they were worried about our immortal souls, and my mother-in-law loves any excuse for a family celebration. All in all, it worked out well, and we’ve almost reached our 20th anniversary despite the brush with someone else’s religion during our wedding ;).
This.
For me, it was a transaction that held no purpose other than to make it easier for us to conduct our personal affairs as a couple.
We had no ceremony, unless you call standing in front of a judge for two minutes a ceremony. The only money we spent was for the processing of the marriage license.
Both atheist, married in a Church of England church.
We had the traditional vows and stuff but you just tune out the references to god. Like I say, it is C of E and so not that many people actually believe in the first place. The vicar certainly never asked us any questions on the subject.
We did it that way for aesthetic and practical reasons. Aesthetic because my wife comes from a small village with a beautiful little Norman period church on the edge of the Durham dales there was nowhere else that gave the same backdrop and, even in June, the weather is not reliable enough for an outside “do”.
Practical because in the UK, the church ceremony fulfils all the legal requirements as well. (we also had both our children baptised in that church so that they would have the option of using it for their own weddings one day)
All atheist marriages must be reviewed, approved and performed by The Flying Spaghetti Monster. Otherwise, the union is simply a verbal contract executed in front of witnesses and recorded with the municipality. Wait a second, that’s just like all other marriages?