How do emails like this help? [Democratic post-election glurge]

Great Debates
1

Almost every day since Nov. 2, I’ve gotten emails bashing the South, declaring secession, and joking about killing Bush. At first, these emails gave me a grim chuckle but now I’m getting more concerned that emails like this after two weeks are still making the rounds. Are Bush supporters passing around “We whupped the liberals” emails? Maybe there’s no need to gloat though. Are we just being sore losers with this kind of behavior or is this the only way we’ll be able to deal for four years? I’ve included an example below

Dear President Bush:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people
regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from
you and understand why you would propose and support a
constitutional amendment banning same sex marriage. As
you said “in the eyes of God marriage is based between
a man and a woman.” I try to share that knowledge with
as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend
the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind
them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an
abomination… End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding
some other elements of God’s Laws and how to follow
them.

  1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves,
    both male and female, provided they are purchased from
    neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this
    applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you
    clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?

  2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as
    sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what
    do you think would be a fair price for her?

  3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman
    while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanness -
    Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have
    tried asking, but most women take offense.

  4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I
    know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord -
    Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the
    odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

  5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the
    Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put
    to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself,
    or should I ask the police to do it?

  6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating
    shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a
    lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree.
    Can you settle this? Are there ‘degrees’ of
    abomination?

  7. Lev.21:20 states that I may not approach the altar
    of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit
    that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be
    20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

  8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed,
    including the hair around their temples, even though
    this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should
    they die?

  9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a
    dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play
    football if I wear gloves?

  10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by
    planting two different crops in the same field, as
    does his wife by wearing garments made of two
    different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He
    also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really
    necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the
    whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16.
    Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private
    family affair, like we do with people who sleep with
    their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and
thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so
I am confident you can help.

2

I’m just waiting for some ubersarcastic rightie like Bricker to come along and assert that e-mails like this are: (1) the sole province of the left; (2) an example of their condescencion and bankrupt philosophy, and (3) something that righties never did during the Clinton administration.
E-mail like this tends to bounce around like sounds in an echo chamber. It will die down eventually.

3

This one is especially bad, seeing as whoever started it didn’t even bother to come up with their own ideas.

4

Well, sure, but I can definitively state that emails like this were virtually unknown during the Carter and Johnson administrations!
:stuck_out_tongue:

5

Here’s another one:

George Bush is visiting a primary school and he visits
one of theclasses. They are in the middle of a discussion
related to words and their meanings. The teacher asks President Bush if he
would like to lead the discussion on the word “tragedy.”

So the illustrious leader asks the class for an example of a “tragedy.” One little boy stands up and offers: “If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks him dead, that would be a tragedy.” “No,” says the learned George Bush," that would be an accident."

A little girl raises her hand: “If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy.” “I’m afraid not,” explains the exalted
Republican leader. “That’s what we would call a great loss.”

The room goes silent. No other children volunteer. George Bush searches the room. “Isn’t there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?”

Finally at the back of the room a small boy raises his hand. In a quiet voice he says: “If a jet carrying the President of the United States were struck by a missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy.”

“Fantastic!” exclaims George Bush, “That’s right. And can you tell Me WHY that would be tragedy?”

“Well…” says the boy, “because it sure as hell wouldn’t be a great loss and it probably wouldn’t be an accident either.”

6

Johnson, maybe, but are you positively sure that the 250 people with access to the Arpanet weren’t sending these out when Carter was President? :stuck_out_tongue:

7

I can’t speak for everyone, but we did have some chuckles with Carter’s “lust in my heart” comment from the Playboy interview, complete with ASCII art…

8

I see 'em as the grass-roots equivalent of public glurge such as “the terrorists hate us for our freedoms.”

At least the e-mail spam can be dismissed as being passed by random strangers.