Goddamn crap email.

Send this to 250,000,000 people in five minutes or you’ll get bad luck. I’m a little girl dying of lung cancer. MSN is going to cancel accounts. Religious programming on TV is going to be banned. Make a wish! Scroll down.
. (extra 650,000,000,000,000 lines deleted)


Here’s what I’ve had to deal with this week.

First, I went into Christian chat, to watch the Christians and the non-Christians fight, as I do a lot. I got an IM from a GodsLiLLamb (her real name was spelled differently, and had a bunch of random numbers at the end). We chatted, and then she told me she was grounded, so she had to chat through email. I figured “fair enough”. So I gave her my email address. We chatted through there. One day passed.

I started getting a “Bible Verse of the Day” from her. I replied, telling her not to send any more of them to me. She agreed. The next day, I found some sappy shit about martyrs or Bible stuff or whatever (I really don’t remember) in my inbox. I read it, and it was a bunch of random Bible verses which, as far as I could tell, had nothing to do with each other. I emailed her again, telling her I wasn’t Christian, and didn’t like this. Her response:

sorry i thout ud like it. obviously not.

Hmmm, I’m non-Christian, and you send me Bible verse of the day. Imagine you know a Muslim. Would you send him a Torah verse of the day? No. And if you did, imagine his reaction. That’s right. He’d be pissed.

In any case, she agreed to stop sending me fowards. A few days passed. Today, I found another foward from her sitting in my inbox. It was some crap about how we needed to make a code so we could pretend we were talking about homework or whatever when our parents were around. I emailed her, telling her I thought I told her to stop. Her response:

fuk u!!!

I placed her on my Blocked email lists. I’m currently looking for a site that sends people a Qu’ran verse of the day so I can sign her up for it. Now that I think of it, Grammar Tip of the Day wouldn’t be half bad either. By the way, her last letter suggested lying to her parents. If she is such a Christian, shouldn’t she remember the 5th commandment, “Thou shalt honor thy mother and father”?


As if that wern’t bad enough, my friend Liz, who I have been good friends with for a year or two, has been sending me crap from a site that sends you jokes that you have heard a million times already. One of the jokes she sent me was the Insanity Test. I am willing to bet that 95% of everyone on the Internet has seen this at least five times. As if that wern’t bad enough, she also sent me goatse.cx (no, I’m going to link to it. If you want to look at it, I pity you). Finally, me being timid about friends, I finally just made a folder that all her crappy jokes would go to. Fair enough.

Then she started sending me chain letters. I messaged her on MSN and told her my one-strike-you’re-out policy concerning chain letters and fowards. She started calling me a pussy and kept saying “it doesn’t hurt”. No, it doesn’t. But that doesn’t make it any less annoying. I ended up signing her up for a few (key word: few. I did it to show her what it’s like to have your inbox filled with crap. If I wanted petty revenge, I’d have signed her up for about 250) newsletters on about.com. In retrospect, I probably shouldn’t have, but it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Spam I can tolerate. At least I don’t know the person sending it to me, and they have no way of knowing that I find it annoying. But friends should know how annoying this shit is. I just wish there was some way of getting revenge upon the gullible idiots who send me this shit. I recommend that we build all computers with a chip that will play the “brown note” and that feature can be activated by someone you sent a chain letter to. Come to think of it, the same could go for spam too.

Ah, the annoyances of email. For months and months I prided myself on not recieving a single foward for almost a year, then I suddenly get six in four days.

From now on, if a stranger asks my email address, I’ll tell him it’s “wholetthedogsout@goatse.cx”.

I’m a Christian, and even I wouldn’t give my email address to a kid who goes by GodsLiLLamb. Did you expect to have some meaningful conversations with someone who sounds like she’s 14?

Fourth commandment. Not fifth.


I hate glurge, too. Everyone I know is trained not to send it to me.

Sorry. The site I looked up the commandments for was chick.com. That probably explains the error.

Except for the “fuk u” statement, I’d swear you were being emailed by my brother-in-law’s wife.

She knows how to spell “fuck”.

[sub]I think.[/sub]

Don’t be daft, SilkyThreat. Everyone knows saying “fuk” is not really cursing. A good Christian would never say that other foul adomination. :smiley:

My sister does this same thing. And so does my nephew. He even has his own mailing list, which he sends out once a week.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against people believing very strongly in their religion, and I understand that sometimes they just have to ‘share’. But after repeated attempts to get them to knock it off, I finally ended up blocking them. (Since it’s family, I figure if they have to get in touch with me, they’ll freakin’ call.)

I don’t know how old airdisc is, but if he or she is a teenager, maybe his or her (sorry, airdisc) definition of a ‘meaningful’ conversation differs from yours.

Yeah, I’ll admit it. I’m a teenager. I’m 15.

You don’t “sound” like a 15-year-old; you seem pretty articulate, actually. Not to slam the typical teenager, but you do seem older.

Even so, retaliating with verses of the Qu’ran is probably beneath you, fun as it sounds. That’s the kind of thing that can easily backfire; next thing you know, you’re on countless mailing lists for junk you’ve never heard of.

I have a bunch of people who send me “cute” jokes and stories daily, although none with the apparent malice your acquaintance has. When I see the person’s name and “FWD” in the subject, I delete. Of course, sounds like your new friend is pretty devious. I have zillions of ‘rules’ in my Outlook at work and at home, and you could probably find ways to keep her out of your inbox, for the most part. But stick to your guns - don’t come apart if she asks your forgiveness. :slight_smile: