Up to this point I have achieved very little in my life and had little or no impact on the world as a whole (even my posts here are infrequent and have added nothing of note to the body of knowledge and opinion which is the SDMB). My only hope now is that I make my remains, after my death, available for study to future generations of whatever becomes the dominant sentient species on or just visiting planet earth. To his end I need instructions on how to become a fossil.
Where and in what should I be buried?
How can I ensure that my skeleton remains intact?
What artefacts should I have scattered around for future paleoanthropologists?
Are there any females out there who would be willing to join me, giving those to come a more complete picture?
Who knows, perhaps some day I will be viewed as a transitional form for some species of super-human.
how about burial on the moon…a nice airless, dry environment with no carrion critters. If Apollo astronaut’s footprints are going to last millions of years, so could you. (that is, until the Lunar Colony Resort & Spa opens and digs up your grave).
Why wait? You can become a living fossil… I know of several.
You start by getting rid of your computer, and getting a typewriter. Manual would be best, but you may have to settle for electric.
Then you discard any ideas or thoughts that have gained popularity since about 1955. You can pick your year of fossilization, of course, but the further back, the more fossilized you will be.
You decry, loudly, about new fangled machines like CDs, what was wrong with vinyl? Music was killed by Elvis or the Beatles, take your pick.
In the business world, you deplore the loss of paper records for electronic stuff. You crab about prices, and talk about how you used to buy a gallon of gasoline for 30 cents.
Follow these simple rules, and you, too, can become a living fossil!
What if there’s a really strong fossil record of our present society? You’d have to ensure that your fossil remains were the most interesting available in order to justify your existence at all. This means you’d have to surround your dead body with nifty gadgets that would boggle the minds of future archaeologists. You’d have to convince a bunch of your friends to die with you so that those same archaeologists could speculate as to your importance in our primitive society and the bizarre rituals relating to your death. Becoming a fossil isn’t taking the easy way out. There’s so much preliminary work to be done that you’d be better off just leading an exciting life and getting yourself mentioned in a history book.
I suggest you contact various university medical departments to see which one would be interested in freezing your body and slicing it up ala’ the Illustrated Man project.
Failing that, the following company will be happy to mummify you:
If they turn you down as well, the only hope left is to find some nice Catholic girl and keep her dropping calves until she dies like the Pope tells her to do. Maybe one of your children will turn out to be a progeny…er…prodigy and make you famous.
I prefer to be a spectator of the human race rather than a participant in it. -Burnett
